My good friend Jeff and I were having breakfast today. While I was cooking waffles, he put on a song by Queens of the Stone Age:
“I’m your Jezebel, she said,
On my way to hell, she said…”
Suddenly Jeff says, “Wait – girls go to Hell too?”
Being a girl, I felt pretty confident fielding that one.
“Yes, of course they do,” I said, running briefly over my more rambunctious past activities in my mind, and feeling relieved that I’m not a Christian. “What made you think they wouldn’t?”
“It’s not that I thought they wouldn’t, I just never pictured it.”
It’s the wing of Hell reserved for Russ Meyer heroines, and Elizabeth Bathory*, and a component of us guys’ Hell is the knowledge that we can’t get in.
*admit it guys, you’d just have to feel if her skin really was especially soft.
“I think there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” said Madelyn Albright, former secretary of state , speaking at a “Celebrating Inspiration” luncheon in 2006.
I should mention that Jeff is a biker guy in his fifties, who had the sweetest mother ever. She would have been the one who mentioned the whole God/heaven thing to him. (He’s not a Christian either, though.) So I can kinda see where it may not ever have entered his head that girls, potentially, can go to hell. (Ha ha, even when they’re told to!)
Yannow. Since they didn’t used to drive Harleys and stuff.
Or, Don Juan’s version of hell: Where all the whiskey bottles have holes in the bottom and the women don’t.
(Joke told by crusty old male supervisor, in the presence of mixed company, back in the day when one could get away with saying something like that in the workplace.)
