In the past, when my gut feelings turned out to be wrong, I’d be a little embarrassed, maybe even stunned. Now I’m just flat-out disgusted. I know Carson was a goofball, and he had about as much chance of winning this as a Nobel Peace Prize, but dammit, he made an effort to be entertaining! And as far as I’m concerned, his goofy flailing and overdone speech showed exactly as much respect for this show as it deserves.
And don’t even pretend that he deserved to go before Nancy Grace, Hope Solo, and Chaz Bono. What the hell happened to rock bottom plus one? This makes three eliminations in a row that I’m at a complete loss to explain. It’s a crapshoot. I don’t even know what it takes to survive anymore; it’s certainly not anything I’ve understood to be part of the winning formula.
Sigh…what the hell. In no particular order:
Hope Solo - She was absolutely lethargic and seemed to be getting literally dragged along at a couple points. Would be looking at a massive score drop if the judges still had the power to actually do that. I’m alarmed by the Twitter comments. Sure, there have been a few disgruntled eliminatees, but I’ve never seen anyone so openly hostile about it. Believe me, the last thing this show needs right now is more hatred.
Rob Kardashian - Okay, I have to give him some credit. He’s trying. He seems to be enjoying this. He hasn’t copped an ego (that I could detect, anyway). The problem is that he just doesn’t have the agility. He’s stiff and constrained and tentative, and it looks like a major effort just to get through a routine. He reminds me of the basketball players that have been on this show.
David Arquette - To be honest, I don’t think he’s much better than Rob. Gets the job done, not an embarrassment, not too hard on the eyes, and that’s it.
Nancy Grace - The increasingly irritating enigma. A major underdog from week 1, she looked like she was swimming through molasses this week. She’s not beautiful. She’s not elegant. She has a nasty attitude, especially in training. Her fanbase can’t be that huge. What the hell does she have going for her??
Chaz Bono - Ooh, at the halfway mark he’s finally showing some mobility! Hey, give him three more weeks and maybe he’ll get that following-the-music thing down! Watching him has been flat-out depressing, and it’s even more depressing knowing that he’ll last way WAY longer than he should (he already has one “way”) and go out with a shower of accolades as the great, wonderful triumphant example of conquering adversity and giving one’s all.
Ricki Lake - It’s easy to see why Derek Hough picked her. She has energy and athleticism, and her enthusiasm has never waned. Stamina could be a question mark, especially now that we’re entering the 2-dance phase, but it won’t hit her as hard as Nancy (much less Chaz). Could be a little more graceful and fluid, but it’s going to take an act of God to keep her out of the final.
JR Martinez - Wow. Y’know, I’ll be honest, I had one great, gnawing fear about him, which was that his Iraq service (and to a lesser extent his scars) would completely overshadow everything else and we’d never hear the end of it. But he only trotted it out for Maudlin Sob Story Night (I give the producers credit for getting that nauseating crap over with early), and since then it’s been a complete nonissue. He’s not The War Hero or The Victim, he’s just another contestant, which is how it should be. Well, that’s not entirely accurate, because he’s been great. He has all the natural talents and has kept in shape, and you’re seeing it every week. More than that, though, he’s making a real effort to impress, to look good and entertain and give us a reason to tune in. And he sounds like a genuinely great guy in his interviews, too. No idea how the rest of this contest will shake out, but I’m tellin’ ya, he SHOULD run away with it. Not only is he the best contestant this season by leagues, he’s the only one I’d be happy winning. Jennifer Gray wasn’t this much of a favorite.
As aceplace57 already pointed out, he’s already gotten most of the hard stuff, which will work to his advantage. I’m just hoping he can keep it up the rest of the way and that there are no freak disasters. It’s simply the harsh nature of reality TV’s eternally unchanging last man standing format, where everyone starts at zero at the start of each new round, and until the very last stretch, first place is worth a pat on the head and absolutely nothing else. With so many distractions and so much white noise, it’s easy to forget that he needs the voters to come out strong for him every week. Normally this is the point where I’d say that a Bice Scare would propel him to victory, except that they never tell who the actual bottom three is anymore, only who’s “in jeopardy” (which means nothing). I hope he keeps getting the votes. I hope the judges are deliberately lowballing him to help his chances. I hope that he continues to entertain. I hope.