I’m just an unsophisticated gal but I’ve managed to get around a little bit in different social circles, and I’ve never, ever heard anyone call their lover/spouse/SO/BFF “darling”.
I’ve heard “You’re a darling” and “What a little darling”, and I’ve heard it with the g dropped, but then it’s usually sarcastic or chiding – “Look here, darlin’” or “Okay, darlin’”.
It’s everywhere in movies though – even westerns. And it’s in books, at least until the 70’s or so.
Why were screenwriters so fond of the word? Have you ever said it? Has anyone ever called you darling?
yeah, my mum for one, and I’m sure other people too - it doesn’t strike me as a particularly remarkable endearment. I expect this will turn out to be a regional thing.
My equivalent of this is “baby” - never used it, couldn’t image using it, as far as I know don’t know anyone who does. But I have to believe it’s common enough in some circles
I don’t know how you’ve managed not to encounter it, but it’s a common term of endearment. In answer to the thread title – well, “Darling” comes from what married people or other couples say every day. Maybe not in Iowa; I don’t know.
I remember “Darling” was the last word in Stephan King’s “Pet Sematary” novel.
The main character’s “revived from the dead” wife had just came back from the Indian burial grounds, smelling like dirt and death, and put her hand on his shoulder.
He knew what was coming next. :eek:
It was a fairly common all-purpose sobriquet in the days before feminism. Sort of like, “honey.”
The use has faded away, partly because of feminism and also because of Eva Gabor (whose use of it in Green Acres – she said “This has been a Filmways Production, Darlinks” at the end of each episode – probably helped turn it into a parody of itself.)
It’s probably considered slightly demeaning. I call some of my favorite female friends “doll” and was playfully chided by the firebrand feminist for it.
I have a friend who addressed her boyfriend so often with this epithet that his nickname became “Darling” (or alternatively “Myboyfriendpete”). Eventually her “enthusiasm” for him, which included chronic feverish rubbing of his leg under the table while in public, made him run screaming into the night…
I think of myself as a feminist, in some ways anyway, but I rather like “darling” and “honey.” They’re cute and evoke old movies. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard anyone unironically use “darling” these days.
To clarify what I said above: the “it” in “it grates on me” is “doll.” I don’t like being addressed as “doll” by random strangers (or my old boss’s wife, who is the only IRL person I can think of offhand who did so regularly), since for me evokes an object with an empty (or sawdust-stuffed) head valued only for its appearance.
Being called “darling” by a SO, or "darlin’ " by a Southern pal, doesn’t bother me at all.
hmm.
I’m 53, grew up in NY, CA and CO with my mom calling us kids (and our dad) darling, and I do the same.
I mean, I’m not incessantly gushing “darling this” and “darling that,” but I do, from time to time, say it to my own kids and husband.
Is there a tinge of irony? If there is, it’s within me, as I laugh at myself for turning into my own mom.
And to clarify my post, I only use it with certain friends who I’m really close to. I don’t use terms of endearment with the vast majority of my friends, let alone colleagues, acquaintances, or random strangers.
