So I met this beautiful, gorgeous girl. She’s a real-estate agent here in Toronto, she’s hard-working and makes over $150K a year because she’s really good at selling. She is in her mid 20’s, I’m in my mid 40’s. We hit it off as soon as we met. Call it love at first sight or whatever.
Everything is perfect, except for the fact she likes to do cocaine once or twice a week. I personally despise drugs in all its forms, especially cocaine. I worked as a tarbender in the nightclub industry during the 90’s and my GM was a serious addict. So I know what to look for and what the signs are of someone who does coke regularly. I also heard from 2 different sources that she is indeed a user.
So my question to you guys is, can a relationship like that ever work?? Or is it doomed to fail??
I did some research and addicts most of the time will pick their drug over their mate. Maybe not right away but in due time.
Depends on how you define “work out” or “doomed to fail.” She sounds wonderful as a person you can date. All relationships end eventually, this one might end sooner rather than later. In the meantime, be kind, have fun, and enjoy the company of beautiful woman you hit it off with.
Doing cocaine once or twice a week is not, in my view, a serious black mark on her record. Some people increase usage from that level, and that could be a problem. Some other people eventually quit or reduce to once or twice a year. Time will tell.
Is she using it as part of a social scene that she might grow out of or is going through an 8 ball at home on a Wednesday and not making it to work the next day?
I dont know for sure because we’ve only dated for a few weeks so far, but my guess is more social.
We went house hunting for 12 days in a row, and she only missed one day (a saturday)
The very fact the o.p. is asking the question (and knows enough about addictive drug use to question the future control of the habit) is a sign that he knows something is wrong. And even if this woman can control her habit, if she gets napped on a possession charge it could be a life-affecting issue impacting her ability to work, maintain a relator’s license, travel freely, et cetera.
“Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt. That’s the first thing they teach you.”
“Who taught you?”
“I don’t remember. That’s the second thing they teach you.”
So long as you don’t deceive her by holding out the possibility of marriage and children go for it.
[ I’m sure many druggies and alkies are wonderful, good people: but marriage can be strenuous enough without the extra-added drama. ]
It’s certainly possible to be a recreational cocaine user and not develop any major addiction problems. But if you have a strong aversion to drugs, I don’t see how this can work out as a lasting relationship.
If you just keep it casual and she doesn’t do coke around you, I think it could be okay for a while.
If she can limit to occassional use, and doesnt turn into a total psycho or does a Mrs. Phil Hartman on me, I actually dont have a problem with her using.
My fear is that it eventually gets out of hand and becomes a much more serious problem
That’s an imagined fear based on apparently a single past experience you had (and probably watching too many movies). It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Have fun with her.
