I think some of my great-aunts did something like that. They married brothers, or maybe cousins, or maybe just two unrelated guys with the same last name.
Anyway, it was a different time. Divorce was a lot less common, and that meant slightly different repercussions, for better or worse.
Is this what “Tripolar” means?
Were they named after the same grandparent or something?
Well, to be fair, who would keep track of the fact that a baby and its cousin had the same name?
My brother and I are married to sisters. It will be 38 years for me and my wife and coming up on 33 years for my brother and sister-in-law (twice!).
Seems to be working for all of us.
Some families don’t have a lot of drama. They like each other and are pretty supportive of each other and recognize that the world can be an untidy place. Having a good sense of humor helps, too.
The one example of which I’m aware were both long time marriages.
Grammar sidebar: death did them part, i.e. death did part them. Death parted them from each other; they didn’t part death from anything. Not trying to be a grammar Nazi; it’s just I see people misunderstand the phrase a lot because of the extra “do” and the word order.
I agree with this. I think a chance of a good relationship is worth a risk, and this risk doesn’t seem excessive. However, since the OP hardly knows her and therefore still has lots of other options without the family “disadvantage” it’s hard to see why they would choose to make life difficult on purpose.
Why is marriage the definition of success for a 25 year old and a 20 year old?
Success could be they date, it grows into a steady relationship that they both enjoy, then as one or both of them face a crossroads or just simply grow apart they break up. Something like that could be a lovely little success. 20 year olds shouldn’t even be thinking of marriage and 25 year olds should just be starting to think about it (if at all).
Personally, I’m really surprised at all the resistance in this Thread. I see zero problem with the two brothers paired with two sisters angle. Siblings who are particularly close often run in the same social circles during the dating stages of life. A pair of siblings paired with a pair of siblings can’t be all that uncommon.
My concern (am I alone in this?) is that the only reason the OP gives for being interested in this girl is because “she’s pretty hot”. Really? You’ve been connected to this family for more than 4 years and the only thing you know about this girl is that she’s pretty hot? Kinda sounds like someone who you had no interest in as a person grew into a pretty hot young adult and now you want to get to know her. “Seems like a nice person” is the kind of thing people say to try to convince themselves that they’re not interested in a person simply because that person is hot.
Jeepers, Skald, your family tree doesn’t branch, it just goes straight!
As to the OP, it wouldn’t even occur to me as an issue.
Regards,
Shodan
Twice? As in they got divorced and re-married? How did the divorce effect the relationships between the 4 of you?
I don’t think the family connection part makes it a non-starter but the fact that she lives several hours away and your primary interest being that she’s “pretty hot” makes it unlikely to be successful. You’d probably be better off fishing in your own local pond.
A lot of people keep track and get annoyed when a cousin is named something that they wanted, because they don’t think cousins should have the same name. It’s weird but there it is. I know one family that had a big blow-out over which sibling was allowed to name their kid after the grandpa.
Yeah, people need to lighten up about this stuff. Cousins having the same name is historically extremely common in Anglo-American culture.
Yeah, he might be getting a bit ahead of himself here. I’d worry about if there is any spark first. If the family does things together, it is possible to talk to her without it being a date or anything.
As for the advisability of it, it probably depends a lot on how much drama the family generates.
Well, I meant who in a position of authority? The poster said that whoever allowed them to do that was an asshole, as if there’s some government person who should have caught the error and intervened.
Same here.
Assuming that your SIL and her sister have comparable looks etc., you must think your brother has good taste in women. I’d be annoyed if my brother wanted to get it on with my wife’s sister (though better her than with my wife).
Which made I, Claudius absolutely the devil to read.
To the OP: It has happened, and it does happen in Indian families, where they tie the families with a “double knot” and intermarry twice. I don’t see why it can’t be successful, but I don’t know if 25/20 is the right age to make it so.
Does she even like you, btw?
Which makes you and your cousins, genetic siblings.