A parent not paying child support doesn’t allow the other parent to refuse to allow access. It’s not rent.
Child support and visitation are entirely separate issues.
Where I live, at age 12 a child can refuse visitation and there is nothing any legal entity can do about it. (Custody at 14).
Just be very, very careful with all of this.
(links I posted to another thread recently)
http: // www.svnetwork.net/attachments/ pas1.pdf
http: // www.svnetwork.net/attachments/ pas2.pdf
(remove spaces to make the links work). These are work-safe but will probably make you ill.
The gist of these links is that the more a child refuses to go to an abusive parent for visitation, or the more the child complains of the abuse, the more some fathers (and their lawyers) argue “parental alienation” and the likelier it is that the child is forced to spend time (up to and including custody, and the safe parent being relegated to supervised visitation).
As others have said, I would love to have the father cut off forever. I know that most kids would benefit from the presence of both parents, but that isn’t always the case. He hasn’t paid in years and that doesn’t mean a thing to the judge.
As a matter of fact, he wants MORE visitation so he can pay less. Hilarious, since he hasn’t paid one cent to begin with since the new order was made years ago. I am worried that yes, maybe my attorney is dismissing me. His primary concern right now appears to be to jail the father. While I think this would be great for many reasons, I also worry that when the father gets out of jail, he will have more violence on his mind. I don’t like or enjoy grounding my daughter for not going, but if I don’t, then it seems like I’m manipulating her, letting her think it’s okay to blow her father off.
As I said, I think the best thing ever would be for him to never contact my daughter again, but that’s not something that can happen. The father loves using her as a tool to hurt my husband and I. I have offered several times to remove any type of financial responsibility off of his shoulders, but he becomes outraged (and of course, continues to not pay a cent). This man maintains that all I care about is money, yet I never asked him for a penny until we were reduced to getting welfare. After that, the state went after him automatically. My husband and I went through a very tough time, and it was just something we reluctantly had to apply for.
My husband brought this issue up before on this website, but he was asking about jailtime. It doesn’t look like the father is ever going to jail considering this last hearing. The rules simply don’t seem to apply to him. I know that many men never go through something like this, so ultimately the woman is blamed as materialistic or petty. I have never been that kind of woman, nor would I ever let my daughter become that way.
If I could pay the father to leave and never come back, I would. At this point, I am fearful that the father is doing something to my daughter because of the way the case seems to be going. My husband thinks it’s wrong that a man doesn’t have to pay or even help in the rearing of his own daughter. I personally don’t care about the money, I just wish there was some justice here.
My daughter is stuck not wanting to go, her father is threatening her now (I was able to get a screenshot of him texting her that he would “break in and grab her” if he had to). The process is long, and no matter what my ex does, he never faces a consequence. My husband isn’t a violent man, but I see him become increasingly frustrated with the situation. He just wants to keep our daughter in our home, it’s my husband’s thought that if the child doesn’t want to visit that badly, surely something must be going on.
I just don’t know what to do. I am definitely speaking with both my attorney and her old therapist. Is there anything I should request of the doctor or therapist? Something maybe one of you that have gone through this, or litigated something like this could recommend?
It makes things so much harder for parents who really ARE cut off from their children for no legitimate reason. 
No disrespect to the OP, but I wonder if there’s more to the story. IMNSHO, it’s highly unlikely that someone could do this repeatedly, and have it documented, with no consequences. (dons flameproof suit) We are, after all, only getting your side of it.
Another possible neutral place: her school, at the end of the school day.
My daughter decided fairly early on (around age seven) that she preferred staying at home with her mom rather than coming to my house for visitation. I didn’t push it as hard as I should’ve, and over time it became fairly normal … my boys would come for visitation, and my daughter would not. Not every time, but more often than not.
Eventually it got to the point when my daughter and her twin brother decided they didn’t want to come for visitation any more. They were around age 13 at the time. No abuse, no issues with harsh discipline (you’ll have to take my word for that) … they just would rather not come.
I tried multiple times to get them to visit. Reminding their mother that a court order was in effect that mandated visitation did no good. She began “running errands” or being out with the kids when I would get there on Friday evenings to pick them up – this after sending multiple emails earlier in the week reminding her I was making the hour-long drive to get them.
My lawyer suggested getting a police report each time visitation didn’t happen; she said that would help my case. After collecting the seventh one over a four-month period, we went to court over this and other issues.
The end result? Nothing. My ex was essentially allowed to alienate two of my children from me. My attempts to be understanding and not push when it first started backfired big-time. Now my only hope is that at some point my children will realize how they were manipulated by their mother and will reach out to me, but so far (they’re about to turn 19) it hasn’t happened.
I really don’t get why you and your husband insist on seeking the advice of strangers on the internet. You have an attorney. That attorney has access to all of the pleadings and evidence in this case. That attorney knows the local practices in similar cases. No one on the planet is in a better position to give you meaningful advice. Talk to your lawyer.
Anything you post has the potential to be used against you. You really should not discuss matters currently being litigated in a public forum.
Why on earth would you pressure and punish your daughter for refusing to go somewhere with someone who you suspect is causing her harm? You are the grown-up and it’s your job to protect your child. Her other parent being terrible is all the more reason you have to be better than this.
If you believe she is being abused by her father and you try to make her go there anyway, do you think the judge will be impressed by how cooperative you are and reward you with the court order of your choice? Or will they notice that forcing your child to spend time with an abuser is shitty parenting in and of itself? Obviously the court system is often arbitrary and unfair, but your daughter deserves your support here. You should both be in counseling yesterday.
Well, you are the dark lord…
On a more serious note, that really sucks. Custody battles are horrible for everyone.