You forgot to note the inverse of this rule: If your daycare child gets sick, then your day goes straight to crap. For obvious reasons, daycare can’t look after a kid who is throwing up or has a fever, lest s/he infect all the other kids. Guess who’s going to get sick more often, the nanny or your kid?
If I had the money, I’d go the nanny route (since you know she’s good) but there’s nothing wrong with daycare. Each has their respective advantages.
Obviously from the responses here there are pros and cons to both. For an infant, I’d lean towards the nanny, especially in your case where you have access to a nanny you know is great. One on one attention is far more important than socialization with other infants, IMHO.
I think it’s also more convenient. You don’t have to deal with getting your baby up early, getting her fed, dressed, and out the door early enough for you to get to work on time. You don’t have to cart bottles, toys, clothing and diapers back and forth to daycare. Everything your nanny needs is at home. Your child doesn’t have to adapt to the daycare’s schedule - your nanny will adapt to your child’s schedule. If you have a crunch at work, a nanny you have a good relationship will be much more willing to go above and beyond with coming early or staying late than a daycare will.
All the families I know that have nannies love them. All the nannies I know are very conscientious about getting out and about with their charges too - it’s not like they’re sitting cloistered inside at home. They can go on outings, do errands, etc. They takes the kids for walks and to the zoo. The nannies I know in my neighbourhood often bring their kids to activities at the community centre just like moms do.
I don’t think either choice is bad - it’s a very personal choice.
I trust you’re kidding here, RedBloom. If not, this says a lot about your husband and nothing about nannies.
Yes - kids in day care tent to have the perma-cold for their first two years, but when they hit Kindergarten, they almost never get sick.
I think Fang was sick once last year.
I’ve heard this from kindergarten teachers. They say they can tell which kids were in daycare and which kids weren’t. The ones who weren’t got sick all the time.
Me too. Obviously there are many reasons to choose a day care over a nanny (or vice versa) but if a con of having a nanny is that you see her as a “sex toy” for your spouse…yikes. Someone’s been watching too much Hand that Rocks the Cradle.
My sister observed the same thing when she taught Kindergarten. The daycare kids also knew how to stand in line and hold pencils.
It doesn’t take long to learn how to stand in a line and you can learn how to hold a pencil at home. Every kindergarten teacher I’ve talked to about this said you can definitely tell the difference between a child who has been in preschool vs. a child who hasn’t - for about two weeks. Then, they all get with the program and are fine.
RE: illness, I think that would depend on the circumstances. Just because a child does not attend daycare does not mean they’re kept at home with all the doors closed. My oldest never attended daycare or preschool and missed one day because of illness during kindergarten and just got a perfect attendance award for 1st grade (so far). He was exposed to colds and other childhood illnesses plenty while attending playgroups, going to playgrounds, going to grocery store with me, etc. Even if he had ended up spending kindergarten in and out of the doctor’s office, I would rather a 5 year old dealing with an illness than a 6 month old.
To the OP - if it were me, I’d get the nanny until my child was about 2.5 or 3, then switch to daycare. A nanny will facilitate any sort of socializing your child needs with playgroups and other outings, but your baby will be able to have the comfort of home and one-on-one attention if he needs that on a particular day.
I was thinking it said a lot more about RedBloom than her husband.
That makes a lot of sense. My son was sick constantly the first two years, but since about 18 months, he seems to get sick about once every 9 months to a year. When he was a baby, I think I was at the pediatrician every 6 weeks, especially in the fall and spring. Those seasonal transition months sucked.
He also brings home every single illness every other kid at preschool has, so his baby sister is now sick constantly. Honestly, I don’t think it’d matter if she were in daycare or not because all the illnesses she’s had she’s gotten from him. She’s 3 1/2 months and has had pink eye, double ear infection and RSV. I’m actually glad that I had sick-kid practice with the first. With kid #1, he’d get sick and I’d prepare for the worst; with kid #2, I shrug and plan to spend a day on the couch nursing and cuddling. What helps is that you can tell earlier with the second when they’re about to get sick, which helps limit the illness or at least their discomfort.
Clearly, my sarcasm wasn’t funny.
Depends on the center. The Firebug’s in the 2 year old class at our day care center, with 2 teachers and 8 kids. Every teacher in the place knows our little boy, and so do most of the other kids. It’s practically an extended family for him.
Also, it’s an early-learning center, and while I’m not sure exactly what the criteria for that are, they do actually teach the kids stuff: for the 2 year olds, that means shapes, colors, songs, the alphabet, counting to 10, stuff like that. He’s able and eager to learn stuff at a far faster pace than we’re able to teach him.
So it’s got some clear strengths as a center, but it’s not impersonal in the least.
What do you have against sex toys? 
It was the mad face that made it seem to me like you were serious. It’s good to know that you’re not actually crazy. 
The mad face was only residual anger from my husband’s not-so-long-ago-affair.
I vote nanny. I had one from the time I was 2 until I was 12- the same one. She was so awesome. I was closer to her than I was to my grandparents. Great things about her: I didn’t have to get up early. I was given really consistent discipline and messages about what was/wasn’t okay (instead of having to conform to rules that are made out of necessity in daycare so the place doesn’t become anarchy.) I rarely got sick, and when I did, my parents didn’t have to miss work. I had homecooked lunch/snack instead of the juice box and cookies I would have gotten at daycare. I had someone to read to me and take me to the park and the pool. I had another adult who was very invested in me turning into a respectful, smart, polite person. She died last December and I miss her very much, even though I’m 21.
If you’re worried about her not becoming immune to things, you can always send her to preschool when she gets old enough- 3 or so. She’ll be exposed to plenty there. I also made a lot of friends and got all the socializing I needed out of preschool. If your daughter is just a baby now, I wouldn’t worry too much about that right now. Babies need a lot of individual attention and I think a nanny is the best for that. But really, as others have said, what’s best is what is best for your family.
I also vote nanny. And, I’m voting with my actions–Boy 2.0 will have a nanny when I return to work in a few weeks. He will be just shy of 12 weeks old when she starts.
Boy 1.0 had a nanny from age 4mos-16mos, then we started him in a local daycare/preschool. This time around, we thought our second would be in daycare simply due to the cost, but realized if we pull from savings, we can afford a nanny for the brief time period we’d need one (I’m a teacher, so the nanny would be only until mid-June). In the fall, when he’s nearly 9mos old, we’ll likely start him in a public setting.
Our main reasons for wanting the nanny are the individual care, not exposing the wee one to more germs just yet, and having the little guy in his home environment. Not having to rush around in the morning and pack up things for the littlest guy is another bonus. Additionally, if he gets sick, one of us doesn’t have to take off work to stay home with him–and if his older brother gets sick, she will take care of him and we don’t have to take a day off. Obviously if she gets sick we have a different (yet really, similar) problem and one of us would have to take off work to be with the kiddo.
Out of the blue, our first’s wondernanny called us looking for work (she had moved out of the area for two years; she didn’t even know we’d had another child), and we pounced on the opportunity to have her back. She is AMAZING. She cleaned everything, organized everything, often had dinner ready for us when we got home, and Boy 1.0 absolutely adored her–and stunningly, still remembers her.
BTW, we found her from a nanny search agency. She had fantastic references, had had a background check, and is well-trained and certified.
It’s what will work for us.
OP, I’m 23 and my siblings are 19 and 15. We were raised by a couple of nannies, and the first one was especially wonderful. Very bright, warm, loved us like her own. I was way ahead of my peers in school subjects when I entered preschool (this could also be genetic, though).
But all three of us (especially me) suffered from anxiety when we went to preschool. This lasted until first grade - we wern’t used to being around other kids much, nor did we especially know how to share toys, stand in line, or be around other adults. It was most definitely difficult for me; my mom and nanny (they took turns) stood in the corner of the classroom for my whole first week of school. While the gut reaction is to get a nanny if you can afford it, I wouldn’t. I would go with a learning intensive, small (read: expensive) daycare. Also know that your nanny - if she’s got previous experience and is very good - won’t be cleaning. Mine picked up after me (like, made my bed, picked up my room) but didn’t clean around the house. She sometimes made dinner, but we had a separate housekeeper for that. Real nannies tend to just do childcare and any maintenance the child needs, like their laundry. So if you’re not figuring the cost of a housekeeper in with the nanny tab, you really should.
Also with a nanny, you really do have to screen them, sometimes you’ll never know till you try. There was a period when nanny #1 was ill, and I had some crazy people watch me. Like steal my mom’s credit card and not bathe me crazy.
An issue I haven’t seen mentioned is the fact that nannies call in sick, have personal emergencies, and can resign. Keep that in mind when making your decision.
I don’t think I could leave Celtling with someone else when she’s sick. If she’s miserable and can’t get comfy she needs Mommy. I am not looking for someone to take over that job.
Somebody mentioned only children, and that was a big consideration for me too. There is little to no likelihood of Celtling ever having a sibling, and her cousins are a 2.5 hour drive away. So being in daycare has taught her that the world doesn’t revolve around her, and how to share, take turns etc. I think it’s dangerous to let those lessons wait until age four or five. Her cousins are four boys, with a stay at home Mom, and I have to say they are very poorly socialized. I’m not saying this would happen in every household, but they hit and spit and fight over toys in a way that would never be allowed in a daycare setting. With three under 9 though, it would be cost prohibitive.
I was a Nanny myself, and gave excellent care to the child. In fact, I still love her as if she were related to me. She was a preemie and it wouldn’t have been safe for her to be out with other kids the first year.
There’s been some mention of Nannies quitting. On that note I have to add that a daycare is a business, and sometimes they switch the teachers around in ways that really make me angry. Like when they changed her teacher only two weeks after her Dad (and more importantly, the Dog) moved out. WTF? That was very upsetting, but I couldn’t talk them out of it. The teacher was still there, just in another classroom - they couldn’t give it a few weeks?!?
I also like the specialized music and phonics classes available in the daycare setting. It costs extra, but Celtling has been in music class since 9 months and absolutely loves it! When she started reading out of the blue at 13 months, the phonics teacher was there to lead her into using the letters and sounding them out, rather than just memorizing which is easier for her to do.
Overall I wouldn’t change a thing.
I mentioned nannies quitting to point out the fact that there are days when you are not going to have care for your child. When your teacher switches classes, you can still take your kids to daycare.
I think the thing to keep in mind is, the issue isn’t really whether nannies in general are better than daycare in general. There is too much disparity over each group to judge that way. There are benefits and drawbacks to both, and some benefits are stronger for some families.
The real issue is whether you like this particular nanny better than your particular daycare. If both are good, great - then just pick the one that is most convenient for you. If you are chooosing between a good daycare and a good nanny, your kid will be fine either way.
(I have 2 kids ages 5 and 2, and have used various daycare settings so far and might switch again soon. Things change as the kids get older too, so what works now might not be as great 2 years from now. Be flexible.)