dead baby jokes! (offensive to some.)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Q: Whats worse than a baby in a trashcan?
A: A baby in ten trashcans.

Q: How do you get a baby out of a blender?
A: With a tortilla chip.

Q: Whats white, red, silver, and walks into walls?
A: A baby with forks in his eyes.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: What’s snow white and moves up and down in a baby’s crib?
A: A pedophile’s ass.

Q: Why’d the koala fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: Why’d the baby fall out of the tree?
A: It was stapled to the koala.

heh.

2

You feeling suicidal or something today chaotic?

:rolleyes:

3

more!

Q: What’s pink and crawls in circles?
A: A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.

Q: What sits in the corner of the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

Q: What goes from pink to black as it spins in a circle?
A: A baby in a microwave.

4

What’s easier to load a truck with, bowling balls or dead babies?
Dead babies cause you can use a pitchfork.

5

Ooo, I’ve always wanted to post in a (soon to be) locked thread.

Sorry, no baby jokes.

6

no baby jokes? there’s even a spoiler in the title. :frowning:

7

Q. What’s worse then 10 dead babies stapled to one tree?
A. One live baby stapled to ten trees.

Q. What’s the difference between a Mercedez and a pile of dead baies?
A. I don’t have a Mercedez in my garage?

8

What’s red and sits in the corner and cries all day?
A baby chewing on a razor blade.

How do you make a baby float?
A glass of Root Beer and two scoops of dead baby.

How do you make a baby shake?
Three scoops of ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

9

I actually laughed at this. I am a sick person.

10

aha! I knew there were some other lurking dead baby joke fans. One final one:

Q:What’s the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

11

What’s the worst thing about molesting babies?

getting the blood out of your clown suit

12

You people really want to have evil wished upon you, eh? :rolleyes:

F_X

13

Why did the baby cross the road?
It didn’t. It got run over.

14

Sorry, you guys have already used up all the dead baby jokes I ever heard in H.S. Just wanted to get my post in for posterity.

I’m not sure when the trail may derail, but I’m just as sick for watching…

15

My, this takes me back to my misspent youth. These things really come in cycles, don’t they?

Nothing new to add – I was hoping to get in with the unload-with-a-pitchfork joke, but see it’s already here. Nothing like a complete lexicon of dead baby jokes to bring back the chemically hazed happy days of yore!

16

What’s the worst part about running over a baby?
Cleaning it out of your tires.

17

HAHAHAHA

More! More! Keep 'em coming!

HAHAHAHA

At least now I know which posters have a weird sense of humor. :slight_smile:

It’s not exactly the same but there is a list of sex-related ‘jokes’ over on rotten.com. Sorry, I don’t have a link but it was called the rolodex of love. I think the posters who laughed at the baby jokes will like it.

18

Alright, I just made this one up:

Q. Where do you get red white and blue hangers for your baby clothes?

A. An abortion clinic in linkin park.
I’m sick.

19

Q: What’s red and squirms in a corner?
A: A baby with a razor blade.

Q: What’s red and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A baby on a meat hook.

(not a baby joke, but funny nonetheless.)

Q: What’s black, white, red, and can’t get through a revolving door?
A: A nun with a spear through her head.

20

What do you get when you put a baby in a microwave?

An erection.
I’m so sick, I printed this thread for future reference.