In a press conference tonight, campaign representative F. Freely announced that presidential candidate Dead Chipmunk has decided to come clean with the public.
"Our campaign is about truth. And as such, we feel it’s only fair that the public should know the full truth about Dead Chipmunk. Dead Chipmunk is a homosexual. He’s known about it for awhile now, but never thought this world would be accepting of a gay dead chipmunk. But finally the secrecy has become too much. Dead Chipmunk hopes that you the people will understand, and not hold it against him in the upcoming election. Now, Dead Chipmunk has some important meetings to attend, so I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut this conferance short. But I’m sure Mr. Jackson will be able to answer any questions you might have.
Good for you, Dead Chipmunk! I’m always glad to hear when someone finally conquers depression. I’m working on it myself, and find that, while I’m not gay, I’m generally happy and content! Keep up the good work.
[Reads the OP.]
Oh. Brave move, DC. I hope it doesn’t cost you any votes, but since you’re already a deceased rodent, I’m sure you’re accustomed to dealing with hardship.
I shudder to think if the stick shoved up his ass has anything to do with his outing.
As a resident of Vermont, I would like to whole-heartedly welcome the DC to visit our state, should he meet another Dead Chipmunk and decide he’s Mr. Right. Get Civially United today!
::whispering to Doctor Jackson “Okay, this should get the Gay & Lesbian Alliance firmly in our court. Now all we need to do is get some dirt on Dubya or Gore that suggests they’re intolerant of D.C.'s lifestyle. If we can do that, then people will be afraid to vote for either Gore or Dubya for fear of being labeled a bigot. And then this election will be ours!”::
Thank you folks, we’re all very proud of D.C. here. It took a lot of courage to do what he did, and I hope you’ll all have the courage to stand behind him. That said, I have to go do some… things… I’ll be back later. Thank you. And remember, Vote D.C. for 2000!
and company? That’s it? Now I know how the Professor and Mary ann must have felt when they were “and the rest, here on Gilligan’s Isle” in the first season of the show.
goboy - We had…um…a…um…a special offer for you! Yeah, a…um…real special offer! Why, I was just going to…um…post the real special offer in…um…a thread dedicated just for you! Yes, that’s it! I mean, what campaign is complete without a goboy? Think of the possibilities - Way to goboy!; You goboy!; Where did you goboy?; they’re endless. So, do you accept?
Vestal Blue - Rumormonger!! Dead Chipmonk did NOT die in a felching incident. As I explained in one of the other threads (Part I, Part Deux, I can’t keep 'em straight anymore, myself), Rear Admiral Chipmonk died valiantly defending this country from the sinister plagues known as Beanie Babies and Pokemon. Unless you have pictures, I suggest you withdraw those charges. You, uhm, don’t have pictures, do you?
Q. What is the Gay Dead Chipmunk’s statement on the recent Supreme Court ruling on the Boy Scouts?
[/quote]
A. He didn’t even bat an eyelash. Not that gay people stereotypically bat their eyelashes. But he didn’t.
**Q.**And while we’re at it, does this confirm the rumors about Dead Chipmunk and Richard Gere? A. Absolutely not. How do these rumors get started? As Chief mentioned above, it was Tom Cruise who was removed from our next president’s rectum.
A goat-fletcher, as opposed to a goat-felcher, is a person who attaches feathers to a goat in order to acheive greater areodynamic stability, in flight.
no no no! Dead Chipmunk isn’t REALLY gay!
He’s just fighting his natural urge to be straight(on a stick).
He’s only fooling himself, and heading for heartache!
Woe!
:rolleyes
We need your help! We are short on volunteers, me and Doctor Jackson can’t do it alone.
We have many positions open. And for a limited time, if you volunteer we’ll get you a position in the cabinet! Except for treasurer, that one’s taken.
Whatever you can do will help. And remember, we do this not just for peace, justice, and the common man! We do it for some other really cool stuff too!