My Wife and I are leaving in two days on a 4000 mile road trip to mostly visit her family. The end of the trip is in Texas for my Wifes Brothers 65th birthday party. It’s going to be quite the party I’m sure. He can sleep some 20-25 people in beds and bedrooms at his ‘ranch’.
Every one is gonna be a trump supporter but myself, my Wife and the birthday boys son (my nephew that I consider a good friend).
Now, I love all these folks and we always have a good time. But talk often turns to politics and they may pressure a debate that I do not want.
I’m looking for a quick answer, to shut down debate and possibly hard feelings. My Wifes family knows how we feel about trump.
I do want a response other than “We shouldn’t discuss this at a party because I’m your guest and it’s your birthday and we disagree.”
I’m thinking another response could be “Do you feel that trump is a good representative of the values of America?” If the answer “yes”. I’m just going to have to stop the conversation right there with “we disagree”.
In my less than proper manner I would usually utter “fuck politics” whilst lifting glass for another sip of bourbon. It usually works, though that might depend how proper your people are.
If they ask what I propose for the broken system, a question that some times follows, I usually go with “hang em all and start over”.
IDK, that is gonna be one hard visit. Maybe your wife should straight up tell them before anything starts that you guys aren’t there to argue politics but to celebrate a birthday milestone. And stick to it. Good luck.
Switch to a different topic. For example in Texas there are probably differences of opinions comparing the University of Texas Longhorns vs the Texas A&M Aggies.
In our family, we have a situation where almost everyone is a Democrat except one particular Republican branch. At family gatherings there used to be huge arguments. So finally we made a rule: At family reunions, discussion of politics is forbidden.
Eh. I will avoid the subject. I hope they will too. Gonna be a lot of beer and opinions at some point though.
A little worry is my nephew, that is the SON of our host moved from Texas to get away from such opinions. He moved to where I live. Colorado. He may want to have a discussion about politics because he knows that at least his Aunt and Uncle (my Wife and I) is on his side. I can shut this stuff down pretty quick if I want to. Done it before. I’m very well respected. And we respect each other.
Pretty much all strata of careers will be there. As a GIS programmer, I’m about in the middle.
Another worry is my Wifes other brother that just LOVES to start political arguments. A very good guy otherwise that I can hang with.
Thanks for letting me share. Helps me think. And I think and worry to much. We’ll just have fun. And I will just turn to that. No one is changing their minds at this point I don’t think.
There is no declaration that cannot be answered with, “Indeed !”
Followed immediately by, “how about this weather, huh?” Stick with it, smile broadly, they’ll get the drift and leave it be, pretty quickly. By the third or fourth application they should all be grinning broadly too.
Not much room to take offence, just never engage and keep replying with, “Indeed!”
Good Luck to you and do report back, we’ll all be wondering how it went.
You’re not an American, I take it. It’s become damn near impossible to avoid someone bringing up Trump (both for or against) in what would seem to be the most obviously inappropriate situations. I was confronted with in inveterate Trump supporter at a funeral earlier this year who would just not shut the fuck up about his Cheeto-Colored Deity regardless of any attempt to hint, suggest, or blatantly state that a graveside is neither the time nor the place to speak of contentious politics. I’ve had people bring up Trump in business discussions, reference his malfeasances in social gatherings, and someone even stuck a Trump bumper sticker on the tailgate of my truck like a gaping asshole.
I don’t have any advice for the o.p. except to divert the conversation or take a long walk with a deep pour of Buffalo Trace, and be prepared to turn around and go home if it just gets to the point of no return.
Maybe ask about family history to change the subject?
In the end, all we are is a collection of stories, so ask about the stories. Who was in the war, how did the family come to be where they were, what did someone’s daddy do for a living… It’s more personal than the weather, and sometimes the stories are even interesting. You can even pass the stories on to your kids.
I am very, very good at changing the subject when it comes to contentious mater. I do very much love my wife’s family and we have a lot of fun.
My BIL likes to play chess. I’m very, very good if I say so myself. It’s juvenile, but as we will probably never agree on politics, I would like to beat him at the ‘Game of Kings’.
My Nephew has never beaten his father in chess, nor me. My nephew very much wants me to play his dad.
I’ve been teaching my wife chess for a year. About 6 games a week. She is geeting formidable. (no pressure, she asks to play, she wins maybe 1 of 20 games now, I give her mulligans)
As much as a do love my BIL, I would like his ‘little sister’ -a liberal/democrat to be able to kick his ass in a game of chess. She is getting pretty good.
And please don’t think that my wifes family are some sort of trump supporting morons. They are quite refined, and at the same time very easy going. Quite educated and well spoken. That’s kind of confusing.
Perhaps because you don’t have as much of a large cultural difference as the US does. Or perhaps it’s geographic. Not that Montreal isn’t different than Edmonton, but I think that the US has developed a big cultural divide between the Atlantic, the Pacific and those in between. And the Rockies where I live.
Though, I hope good will eventual come with the current fuck up of our county. The diversity of trump may make us come together as a people. But first, it’s gonna tear us apart.
To the OP, have you not been married long? Since, presumably they had different opinions on previous administrations as well, so you should have a handle on it…