When it comes to Trump, I follow the advice “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” “How about this weather?”
It’s not a parody; that appears to be the way many of them think, especially in regard to using Trump’s own lies and evasions including denying having made statements on tape that he has previously acknowledged saying to question his integrity.
Stranger
That’s an interesting idea. I may have try that one.
It sounds as though at this point, an argument is heading their way, and he is heading it off. There are many discussions to be had about many things, but if there is a disagreement about such a fundamental issue, then there is no common ground that can be found.
It’s quite likely that one will ask for his opinion. That’s often times what happens in family gatherings when there is a black sheep of the family, I assume of whatever stripe. The family doesn’t like it when there is one amongst them that is different, and so will pick on and bully until they are in line.
This is why I have seen my parents maybe 5 times since the election, even though they live less than 6 miles away. They cannot help themselves but to make snippy comments to try to bait me into responding.
It gets old quickly.
As far as the “don’t talk about politics” that only works if they don’t want to. I get away with that with clients from time to time, who come in and make some aggressive remark about some politician or issue. I say "I am so busy here, I don’t have any time to pay attention to what is coming out of Washington. " That closes the discussion with no hard feelings, but unlike my clients, my family knows better. I tried that once on the fam, and they felt that that was their chance to “inform” me on what is coming out of Washington.
Bone up on Bible verses, Biblegateway.com.
“Suffer the little children …”
“Whatsoever you do to the least …”
My current favorite - “Render unto Caesar …”
But find some more obscure ones, all New Testament.
If they come back with something that seems to support horrible behavior, just ask if it’s Leviticus.
Just shrug if it’s the Old Testament.
So lets turn this around.
Lets say Hillary was now President.
Would you now be enjoying defending everything she has done?
Oh, I’m sure everything would be all peachy with no problems because we know everything democrats do is perfect.
That’s interesting. Maybe you should start a thread about your fantasy situation involving hypothetical stereotypes defending hypothetical “misdeeds” involving caricatures of politicians?
We can just look back to Obama’s term to see what would happen. Instead of the conservatives saying how great everything was, at family gatherings they were saying how terrible it was. It was more around discussions of how Obama wasn’t an American, death panels, ACA sucks, Sarah Palin is awesome, etc.
Just answer like I do:
“Well, I know one thing. The President is not going to be able to help me with my most pressing need at the moment - getting another Bud Lite. Excuse me.”
And then go off into the kitchen for a while.
This is a big part of the problem. Trump’s behavior is so extreme that he is simply beyond the pale of normal human decency. And in supporting him, his supporters often reveal that they no longer adhere to *their own *professed standards or morality. I simply cannot comprehend the worldview of someone who thinks casual racism, treason, and pussy grabbing are acceptable under any circumstances. Nor do I wish to.
And there it is. Trump is a bully, and so are they. That is the problem. These people support Trump BECAUSE he is a bully, NOT in spite of it.
My wife’s relatives behaved the same way. They would bring up Trump at every possible opportunity. They were not interested in her opinion, and they didn’t want to discuss ideas or help anyone understand anything. They were taunting her, maliciously, and doing it precisely BECAUSE they wanted to provoke her to anger.
And whenever she pointed out how hideous their ideas were, they backed it up with a passive aggressive cop-out: “Oh no, that’s just something I heard Trump say. I’m not the one who thinks these things.” They didn’t even have the intestinal fortitude to claim ownership of their own ideas.
So the question has nothing to do without Trump or politics at all. Trump is just the tool they use to aggravate and provoke the people around them. If there was no Trump, and no Republican Party, they would just use her hair, or her weight, or her alcoholic mother, or any other subject to insult and belittle her.
The discussion has nothing to do with Trump, and everything to do with power.
But here’s the thing: There’s only one way to have a relationship with these people, and that is to enforce your boundaries. If they don’t respect your boundaries, that means they don’t respect you as a person. You say up front, “I’m not discussing Trump,” and the second the word “Trump” leaves their mouth you hang up. Or you pack up the kids and leave the party. Whatever it takes.
Either they will eat the message and respect you, or they won’t. If they won’t, then you have no reason to want a relationship with these people.
I would do everything in my power to avoid going to that party and if I did have to go, I would stay in a hotel so that I could control how much time I have to spend with them I would also arm myself with arguments and facts to be ready for the inevitable arguments. The one thing that shuts down right wing snark is push back and facts.
There is nothing hypothetical about it.
We just went through eight years of listening to people spread lies and hate about Obama. At every chance, my father-in-law would call my wife to tell her about how Obama was a Kenyan Muslim atheist gun-grabber, or whatever lie was circulating about Hillary at the time. And every time she pointed out that it was false, or misinformed, or just told him to shut the fuck up, he would reply with, “Oh, I don’t think that. This is just something I heard from Rush (Or OReilly, or Carlson, or whoever)
@ OP — If all else fails, the following quote might put a damper on excessive fawning over Trump:
We have a saying down in Colorado that applies: Trump is all fart and no turd.
Good luck.
His scenario involving a Hillary Clinton presidency and people defending her many misdeeds was indeed a fanciful hypothetical.
Really? Because I don’t see much difference.
I’d look at this for option #2 if the relatives get too annoying. Don’t engage in debate, just insult the hell out of Trump. You wouldn’t trust him to feed your goldfish. He’s dumb enough to believe his own PR. He makes Gerald Ford look like Einstein.
I absolutely despise Trump, and would want to do nothing with his supporters, but it seems that you want to get in one dig at them and then have them shut up.
If that’s the case, just go all out. “You like that slimy turd? Then you are most likely a racist asshole and I’m afraid we will have nothing to say to each other.”
With all the crap going on in the news right now, I’d probably spend a lot of time on walks by myself. I’m envisioning the discussions around what constitutes real rape and real sexual assault versus horseplay. And how someone who really was attacked would report it versus someone who is lying to smear a good man’s reputation. There are some topics which would be hard to stay quiet about. And it would be hard to not think extremely poorly about people professing those views. I’m really glad we had our family gathering back in the summer when it was just the normal, slimy corruption being exposed. There are some topics I’m really glad not to know my family’s opinion on.
I have a family wedding coming up in a couple of weeks and there is a chance a couple of Trump supporters will be there. My policy is I’m fine not talking about politics, but I will not listen to their nonsense without answering it. I usually give one warning along the lines of “I really disagree with you, but if you’d rather talk about baseball or fishing that’s fine with me.” If they persist, I engage.
One thing that could work is wait until the discussion starts about politics and have an outburst like “GOD DAMN! Are we going to talk politics for the whole god damn week! Can’t we have a break from the shit show in Washington and just try to enjoy ourselves for once!” Of course, that moment will be quite awkward, but I’d guess it would put the damper on politics discussions during the trip. The good thing is that you wouldn’t be criticizing anyone’s political views. You’re just saying that politics is a shit show, which everyone will agree about. And it would also mean people would be less likely to talk politics around you in the future.
Would you rather be with a bunch of liberal douchebag relatives who constantly try to “I hate Trump more than you” each other?
Or lets say your rich and the others arent. Would you want to listen to them slam you for being successful and making money?
How about if some of them are big into veganism and slam meat eaters. They exist you know - the people who refuse to enter a room where any meat products are. Are those people any better?
Heck it could also be a gathering where its not politics - its some other topic a couple of people want to talk about? I once was at a party and these 2 guys in the middle of the room were having this big discussion on - comic books! Now if 2 guys were off in a corner talking that would be one thing but these guys were in the middle of the room talking loudly and you could not avoid them.
I was once stuck at a friends birthday party dinner sitting beside 2 ladies who would only talk about their cats.
My point is its not unusual to be somewhere where you hate the topic of discussion.