Dealing With Presumptuous People

In My Humble Opinion
21

A patron of mine returned an overdue inter-library loan* book the other day and said as he was handing it to me, “Yeah, I forgot I had this, so it’s a little overdue.”

I check the item in, then check his card and see that this book rang up $10.00 in fines and he had 2 other ILL books which had been returned late also to the tune of $2.00 each.

As I’m looking at these fines, he says, “And I’d like to see if there’s any way you can waive some of those fines for me.”

I directed him to our circulation manager, but explained to him that waiving overdue fines is something that usually happens because you, for instance, were in the hospital unexpectedly, or because your car with the books in them got stolen … you know, things outside your control. “I forgot to return it” really isn’t fine-waiving territory.

  • FYI, “inter-library loan” is a process by which we obtain a book for a patron from a different library entirely, not just from another branch of our system. It’s expensive, and when they are returned late, we jeopardize our relationship with the lending library for any future ILLs.
22

But the whole point to forming the band was to play at that specific function. I could see what you mean if it was out of the blue, but it wasn’t. I don’t think there was any assumption about people’s willingness to perform, it sounds like all the musicians except tdn and the singer were perfectly enthusiastic and nobody knew that tdn a) doesn’t think the other musicians are up to snuff and b) decided a week later that he was too busy and not interested.

Again, I do think the secretary should have confirmed, and it would be helpful to know more details (was the secretary there for the original conversation? What did tdn say when asked to arrange it? Who was told about the phone conversation deciding it was off? What were the other would-be band members saying in the meantime?) but I think your second point is unfair since the original suggestion was not to form a band, but to form a band to play at that specific function.

Maybe part of my confusion is the way I’m interpreting “forming a band”. For some reason it struck me as a very casual thing - I am imagining not that they were suggesting an ongoing thing so much as simply this group of coworkers who all happen to play instruments playing a couple of songs together. Similar stuff happens at my office all the time: “Hey, Mike! Did you know Allen plays guitar too? Why don’t you guys do a duet at the company picnic and Ruth can sing?” So Mike maybe takes 2 minutes to go to the other two and say “Hey, you guys both know ‘Proud Mary’? Let’s do it at the picnic” or even just approaching them at the picnic to figure out a song. I can see if the expectation is a polished concert but that wasn’t the impression I got.

23

I was not aware of the Initials Moratorium, I will do my best to use fake names in the future. My apologies if my using two initials created confusion.

Anyways.

I contacted my supe about the coworker, noting while I do have the time to do her work, I didn’t feel it was appropriate for her to do what she did, I felt that if she was behind because she chose to take a vacation that was her problem, and I again reminded her if I was going to work on another team members’ cases, I would rather it be the person who has been out due to significant medical issues.

Amazingly, she backed me up. Folks, that is like the Second Coming. I would be less shocked if Michelle Bachmann revealed she was an abortion loving, atheistic lesbian.

I transferred all the work back, stating it wasn’t part of my current work duties, if she doesn’t agree with my decision she could contact our supervisor. Upon reading my email, she went to another coworker and whined that I am not a team player. It was suggested if she spent as much time actually working on catching up as she does complaining about how far behind she is, maybe she’d be caught up.

WRT TheKid’s friend: She actually has relatively strict parents, who (unfortunately) are busy dealing with her massively screwed up sister so they kind of ignore her. They trust me, so have told her it’s okay if she’s over here. Of course, they didn’t clear it with me. And, were I to talk to them about it all, it would open a huge (I mean HUGE) can of worms. Sometimes she tells her parents she is staying here, when she is at her boyfriend’s house. Her parents are super religious, have no problems with physical punishment, and her friend has a long history of self-mutilation. She’s not the most stable of girls, and her parents believe prayer will fix everything. To protect her, I would rather not talk to her parents.

I’ve told TheKid that she has to break it to her friend about the movie. She’s decided to not talk about it - it is almost a month away, after all. If her friend starts up, she’s going to change the subject. I told her to woman up and tell her that she’s not invited for the midnight show, but we would be more than happy to see it again the opening weekend with her.

24

To clear a few things up:

First of all, I’m a little unclear on the whole story myself, because it was a long time ago, and because I was largely out of the loop on it.

Someone, I don’t remember who, suggested that a band be formed. Someone else suggested that we perform at the meeting. I don’t remember what level of commitment I gave, but I’m sure it was not more than a non-committal “That’s an interesting idea.” I know that I didn’t promise anything to anyone.

The secretary was not in on the conversation.

It must have been the following Friday when I heard that I was assigned to the Training From Hell. I was pretty upset about it, and I knew that I would have no time to organize anything. I think it was that weekend that I called the singer and we had our little discussion.

It was during the next week, when I was in training, that I got the e-mail from the secretary. I don’t know that she was the one being presumptuous – probably not – but someone along the rumor mill apparently was. If it wasn’t her, then I feel bad for her.

But somewhere along the way someone turned a non-committal maybe into a full-blown promise.

That’s not the only time it happened. A very long-term project with a client ended, and the client decided to celebrate by throwing a big daytime party. The project manager called me the day before the party asking me to attend, and bring my guitar and amp so I could entertain there. When I told him that I couldn’t possibly arrange it, he protested with “But I promised them! We’re already counting on you!” I told him he shouldn’t have made a promise on my behalf like that. He responded with veiled threats to my future employment. In the end I caved, which was hugely inconvenient to me. Looking back, I should have stood my ground.

25

From what my friend says about this woman, she sounds like she might have Borderline Personality Disorder – she’s got significant mental issues. She’s a terrible boss, at the very least. I’m so glad I didn’t have to take that job.

MissTake, that’s good advice. Avoiding the issue isn’t going to solve things. It’s a shame about the poor kid’s family, though.

26

What news? I thought her friend was going camping anyway.

27

Misstake, it’s presumptuous of people to expect you to work at work? What?

28

No, it’s presumptuous for a coworker to transfer a bunch of her work to me, assuming I will do it “for the team”. I DO my work very well, and am up to date due to my diligence. If she had asked, or if she had run it past our supe first, then I probably would have helped her out with some of it.

29

:dubious: OK. Whatever.

30

Not only that - but the fact that MissTake received an envelope full of work with no indication why or who from, is in my opinion, very passive aggressive. Even if the person had been kind enough to actually put a note in the envelope identifying why it was being sent to her, instead of just anonymously dumping it . . . and then getting snippy when MissTake tried to track down the source.

It’s all just a bit over the top, and I understand why you were nonplussed, MissTake.

31

I don’t get this response. So you think it’s okay for a coworker (not a supervisor) to just drop a bunch of work on you and expect you to do it because “you have some free time”? Without even checking with your supervisor to make sure that she doesn’t already have something else lined up for you to do?

32

If you’re OK with the co-worker dropping off her work to the OP, would it be OK for the OP to take said work and give it to someone else because she was too busy to do it?

33

It’s presumptuous for someone who does not have authority to assign you work to assign you work.

34

This. The supervisor (should) be overseeing what everyone is doing, and having an idea about who should be doing what, not your co-worker.

35

Well, the OP was at work with no work to do and apparently expected to continue not working as opposed to working. That seems odd to me. I don’t see what the niceties of how the work landed in the OP’s lap have to do with anything.

36

Oh, that’s right, you’re you.

Yes, Virginia, there is a difference between being told to do something by someone not your supervisor and being asked for help.

37

You missed this part:

I’m not completely twiddling my thumbs, I am working and proactively look for other work when I can - with the okay of my supervisor.

Sad to note, the coworker who tried to dump her work on me? She had to go into the computer program, open up each individual piece of mail, request transfer, search for my name, click a few more times in a slow program… she could have done her work in the same amount of time it took to transfer it to me.

38

Aren’t you a libertarian? confused

A co-worker with poor planning tried to dump busy work on MissTake without any explanation.

This work does not advance any of MissTake’s cases.

This work was not requested by MissTakes boss, therefore would not reflect in a raise or promotion.

Why should MissTake carry the load for a co-worker who takes a vacation and doesn’t plan ahead enough to have her projects under control?

Any person with rational self interest in mind would decline.

39

You certainly are confused, including about what it means to be a libertarian. Libertarianism is a political philosophy (ie, a set of ideas about the best way to set up a government) and therefore has little if any application to the present situation.

40

If you did your own work, Rand, instead of dumping it on MissTake, you wouldn’t have the time to waste here being needled by other posters.