Weird or jealous co-workers and bosses

The BBQ Pit
1

Have you ever had this happen to you? I can’t imagine it’s just happened to me.

Every once in a while, I’ll get a boss/superior at work who feels they just have to be “better” than everyone around them. Which means that their staff cannot do anything that they can’t do. And if an employee can do something well, the boss has to brag up how they can do the same thing. But if it turns out that you do something that the boss doesn’t do, they act like they CAN’T STAND to hear about it. Insecure, or something, but it’s weird and bizarre. You don’t have to be good at anything related to work - just anything.

In my case, I worked at a retail store and use to “doodle” on scratch paper in the break room. Everyone did. But in my case, because I draw pretty well, I drew faces, or animals or whatever. But they were stupid little doodles! A few of my supervisors were really bugged by this, even though it was done on my break, and absolutely had no impact on my job. (One supervisor went so far as to imply that I was “wasting” paper. What? It was scrap paper that everyone doodled and wrote on!) Also, the same supervisor hated it when another co-worker and I talked about making pottery. She’d make a point of interrupting us (when we were on our breaks) when we talked about it. Apparently she neither drew nor did pottery, and couldn’t bear to hear her “peons” going on about it.

The latest thing happened this evening, and I guess I have to vent. Apparently one of my co-workers is terribly bothered that I work on my laptop at work (this seems to be acceptable, my supervisors know about it.) Apparently, according to other co-workers, this one woman has called in and complained about me using my laptop. The suspicion is that she is merely jealous of my laptop, and that I am known as a “computer geek” at work. She knows nothing about computers, and I guess it bugs her that I dare know more than her, and that I dare have a laptop. (It’s an ancient Pentium - not much to be jealous of.)

What the hell is with people?!?

Please, share your tales of weird or jealous co-workers and bosses. Somehow I think it’ll make me feel better to hear I’m not the only one.

2

A lot of work places are like this.

Work for your self. That will teach ya! :wink:

IF you are 100% not cheating-stealing-doing wrong on the job, then don’t worry about it.

If the BOSS say not to do it and you have no union that says you can, then don’t do it.
( there is the right way, the wrong way and the boss’s way.) On average, the boss’s way works out the easiest.

Or be so good that the boss will see that your way is best.

In ‘retail’, the boss’s way is best.

In retail, co-workers can be the pits.

In retail, changing jobs for all kinds of reasons is unfortunatly a commom thing.

Vent here… this is good.

Going postal sucks.

3

I am glad (misery loves company, I guess) to know that other places are like this.

I have no intention of going “postal”, but it just dismays me. I think it is absurd that a boss would be so bothered by completely harmless thing employees do on their breaks. Like, doodle on scratch paper, or talk about pottery. I mean, talking about pottery!!! There is no way any boss coud “forbid” us from talking about it. There is no valid or logical reason she could ever give for taking exception to it. But she never failed to interrupt, and it was quite obvious after a while that it just bugged her that we had that skill. (And she didn’t.) This kind of petty, weird shit is what makes employees lose complete respect for their bosses.

I no longer work in retail. My current bosses are not perfect, but I don’t think they care at all what I do on my free time. They seem to treat me with some respect, actually. The one co-worker (who complained about my laptop) is just a sad case. I guess I started this thread because her recent antics reminded of how much this stuff irritates me. I mean, this woman has called in and complained because I basically have a “toy” (the laptop) that she is jealous of. That’s what it amounts to. The bosses have known that I use a laptop for a year, so her complaints will (most likely) fall on deaf ears. All she is doing is making herself look like an ass, and wasting the bosses’ time. I am mortified. I am also saddened, because this woman has acted like she is my friend.

Oh well. I just needed to vent. That is what the Pit is for!

4

I’ve had the co-worker that couldn’t stand my creative side. I had copies of my award winning photos up in my cubicle and had to take them down because they “weren’t appropriate” to the work place. Uh, HELLO but they were black and white photos of my family. Just like the cheesy color pictures everyone else had. Except these were big, 11x14 prints with the show/date/prize won… some people are just jealous assholes.

I also had to take out my pottery (weird, but true, we couldn’t talk about that either without Pam blowing a fucking gasket because she took a pottery class and SUCKED at it) and also my glass work. It was deemed, uh, shit, I think something like “potentially dangerous” or something like that. Lame but true. I also couldn’t put up any of my “tear sheets” of stories or articles I had published. Those were deemed “unsuitable” because I often wrote about women’s rights, abortion rights or children’s rights; yes, what a radical I was/am!

I feel for ya hon, the only thing is now I work for me and I can put up whatever the fuck I WANT to in my office and no one can say boo about it! It’s sad that some people can’t just appreciate others. I loved seeing the different things my co-workers had; I really felt you could tell a lot about a person by what they had hanging around in their workspace; other’s just saw the differences as potentially threatening. Christ in a side car with high heels but some of these folks need to get a life!

And the lap top thing?! That is really, really just… what’s the word… flippant? Lame? Stupid? ARGGG! My thesaurus brain has escaped me… I can’t find a word to encompass how utterly bizare that is!

5

Byz - OH MY GOSH. I cannot imagine anything so petty as what you’ve been through. I didn’t know people could be so outrageous! How utterly bizarre! How could they forbid you of putting up pictures of your family?!?! That is so messed up.

And I find it quite amusing that this Pam person freaked because she sucked at pottery, and you could do it. Too bloody bad. Everyone has strengths, and weaknesses. We all have different talents. It’s time for some people to grow up and accept that. “Forbidding” the people around them to be themselves (which is what this is about) is just so freaking childish. I learned this life lesson when I was a kid - so what the hell is their excuse?!?

I do have a friend (who has sorta outgrown this) who is creative, but can’t draw. And, don’t you know, that automatically made me a bitch because I can draw. Or something like that… (She never went so far as to say or do anything, but her attitude and expression when I would doodle or draw made her feelings obvious.)

I still am using the laptop at work. (I’m on it right now! :D) I only see this annoying co-worker for a short spell at the beginning of my shift, so as long as I don’t use it while she’s around, no problems. Not that I have to keep it out of her sight, but it’s better all around if I do that. (This way she won’t annoy the bosses anymore about it. We hope.) It is utterly pathetic that she feels the need to complain, though.

6

One of my coworkers has, for years, been the person who decided how to best achieve temperature comfort in our office. We have three thermostats. The office zones are all screwy–it’s nearly impossible to keep the heat even. Over the years, she appointed herself the expert (perhaps not inappropriately) and there were large signs taped on every thermostat saying NEVER to touch it because it will get all screwed up, and all requests for changes should go through Temp Queen.

Only get this. Temp Queen decided she was “sick of people bitching all the time.” Apparently saying one would like a temp change constitutes “bitching.” She snapped at us if we came to her, exploding “Why does everyone come to ME about this? I’m sick of it!” It was getting really weird and demoralizing. People would sneak around and take whispered polls about the temperature. Then they’d change the thermostat on the sly. Later we’d hear Temp Queen complain about The Stupid Idiots who changed the temperature and ruined everything without asking her.

I sent a diplomatically-worded suggestion to our boss that perhaps everyone would be happier (especially Temp Queen) if someone else took over the role. My boss announces this change in a staff meeting, that Temp Queen deserved a break after years of doing such a great job. Temp Queen freaks out, says no one can do the job like her, she feels really funny about anyone else doing it. My fucking jaw dropped because I must have heard her say DOZENS of times that she HATED being the temperature person. Thank god my boss held fast, since apparently half the office had emailed her just like me. But now the new Temp People–who are totally reasonable and everyone appreciates the attempts they are making–have to consult her, and she still sighs really loudly and says things like “Sorry you have such a THANKLESS job, isn’t it horrible?” She secretly resents all the cold-blooded people (she’s warm blooded, is always too hot, and resists turning up the heat). Everyone else in the office bundles up like eskimos to try to keep from having to ask to have the heat up a notch, but she always wears wool sweaters (no layers, just bulk) so she never does her part in dressing to make things better for everyone. It’s almost as demoralizing as it used to be. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out why she’s so possessive and martyred about it! And she loves making everyone else seem high-needs and unreasonable. It is utterly bizarre.

That’s my story.

7

All I can say is they weren’t the “right” pictures of my family. They were different, therefore, wrong. If I would have had the cheesy, photo op shots everyone else had, no problem. But I just “had” to be different. Hence, the problem. And I wasn’t the only one subjected to this. We had the “deputy commissioner” (who just so needed a tin star to go along with the title) go around and determine (under what guidelines we were never told) what was okay and what wasn’t. Anything he didn’t like (or his little sycophant Pam didn’t like) went going, going gone!

It was one of the most idiotic things Utah tax dollars ever paid for. This guy had the “job” of going around and making sure that every cubicle was “okay” and not a potential liability or a case for discrimination or harassment. I’m sorry but this was completely arbitrary and subjective. He, himself, had a nude print in his office (a Botticelli, I think) but that was okay because he said it was… I don’t know how to do a rolling eye glif or I would. It was so damn stupid. My co-worker, next door to me, had to take down a newspaper article about her brothers (who had broken the land speed record in Bonneville salt flats) because it was deemed to “promote excess speed”. HA! It was because Pam was upset that her family had never done anything note worthy in the fucking press!

I really hated my work place at that point. I left the wonderful world of work about six months after that. They took a vibrant, wonderful, mixed bag of people and tried desperately to mold them into some kind of homogeneous glump of humanity. I’ve never looked back…

8

CrankyAsAnOldMan– oh my Goddess but you made me think of the medical lab I worked in back in 1990… I would come in first thing in the morning to fire up the coffee and the phones and all. (I was a receptionist but was actually a technical writer underpaid, anyway) I came in one December morning and hey, in Salt Lake it’s fucking COLD in December and it was about 50 degrees in the main part of the building.

I had been on the job about a week or so by then and I went over and cranked up the heat to a very reasonable 65. I shivered and waited but nothing seemed to happen. Perplexed I opened up the office doors around the main room (this office building was built on a giant circle and all the offices were around the perimeter). And still nothing happened. Finally, freezing my ass off, I went and looked for other thermostats in these offices. In the head cheeses (and trust me, this asshole was basically head-cheese) I found another thermostat and cranked that one up to 65… AH! Heat began to flow.

Satisfied that I had taken care of business I settled into work. Folks began to come in and another work day started. But then Mr. Head-Cheese came in, sniffed the air, went to his office and proceeded to throw a screaming tantrum that my five-year old nephew only WISHES he could mimic!

Truly, I have never seen a grown man pitch such a yelling, screaming, fists-beating-against-the-floor fit!

He was livid that I dared to turn up the heat! I was shocked and explained that the building was freezing and he just continued to rant and rave. And then I got told the deal; his office really controlled the heat for the entire building (the other thermo was a false one that didn’t do anything). But, if his office was at 70 the rest of the building was at 50 and that’s just the way he wanted it. By opening the door and turning it up I was heating the ENTIRE building!

Suffice to say this man is still on my major jerk list. I did work there a year but only because I HAD to. I’m sure there is a very, very hot room in some hell for him; let him bask in THAT glow!

9

Oh, I relate to this!

When I was in law school, I had a part-time job working for a car-rental agency out at the airport. I needed a job to make some extra money and keep my student loans down, but I took that job (for fairly crappy pay) because the nature of the work was that you had to do about an hour’s worth of work at the beginning of the shift, an hour’s worth at the end, but the rest of the time was “free” time (aside from checking customers in and out as they approached which took like five minutes each) and I could use that time to study and get paid for it. In fact, it really helped me study because there wasn’t a whole hell of a lot else to do at the airport and you couldn’t leave.

But my coworkers (meaning both the other people who worked at this agency plus all the people working at other rental agencies) were really bugged by my studying. They tended to either stand around and bullshit each other, or play computer games, or read novels. Since I instead studied, I was considered either (a) stuck-up (because though I was always friendly and didn’t mind chatting, I wouldn’t just shoot the breeze for hours on end) or (b) a show off, because my doing homework was construed as boasting about being in law school, and because if I was doing homework I must think I was oh-so-smart.

I never understood it, but there’s no denying that some of these people were seriously irked by the fact that I did my homework, even though it impacted them not at all. It was like they were affronted by the fact that I was working on a life beyond the airport. The subtext was always “just working out here is good enough for me – why isn’t it good enough for her?”

I finally realized that the people who really knew me and cared about me didn’t begrudge me trying to get two things done at once, and the rest of them were not worth worrying about. I have two good friends from my airport days; the rest of them I left with no hard feelings but without a backward glance.

10

Jodi – applauding sound heard here! Yeah for you! I did a bit of this when I worked at a convenience store during HS and it didn’t irk my co-workers as I worked the late shift alone (not that dangerous in Moab at that time) but is sure as shit upset some patrons! I never let them stand with goods in hand but they seemed to hate my “wantonness” to better myself… sigh… it’s like that Aesop’s fable about the man with the donkey… You just can’t please all the folks all the time!

And I’m sorry, yosemitebabe, but I’m just all over your thread… forgive me, I have diarrhea of the keyboard or something tonight!

11

No Byz, thanks for sharing. This is why I started this thread! I wanted to be reassured that I wasn’t the only one! Misery loves company!

Yes, you hit the nail on the head - they are irked that we have a life, or aspirations outside of the job. I’ve never had a job that was “all” for me. I just assumed most people were like me. I have always assumed that most people have hopes and dreams that go beyond working at a shitty store, or some dead-end job. But I guess I was wrong. Because some people just LIVE for their job, whatever it is.

My current dead-end job is not unlike your airport job, Jodi, in that it allows me lots of time to do my own thing, while on the clock. It is a little like glorified babysitting (I work with retarded people). Sure, there’s work, it’s not for everyone, I do things that (trust me) a lot of people would find unpleasant. But for much of my shift, I can do whatever I want. Like, work on my laptop, watch TV, draw, read. Some of my co-workers are like me, (they like the job because it allows them time to study, or whatever) but some of the others are not. Apparently. They spend hours gossiping with each other, talking about trivial work stuff, and bitching about completely petty things that their co-workers/bosses do. Every little detail is discussed and hashed out, everything is a fricking melodrama. They LIVE for it. I don’t. I like my job, I like looking after the dear souls that are under my care, I care for their needs, but that’s it.

I also had another job where some people were bugged that I traveled, and had seen and done some mildly interesting things. Mind you, my life is not all that exciting, but compared to some of these co-workers, I was fricking Marco Polo. I know not everyone can afford to travel far. But when I was a kid, we were pretty damn poor and had a crappy beater of a car. But we always managed to go somewhere on vacation - just get the hell outta town. I am guessing that some people must come from families where no one goes anywhere, and it never occurs to them that it is an option. So they freak out a bit when they encounter me and my travelin’ ways, and are a little irked. It’s easier to react that way than to think that maybe they’re missing out on something. (However, fortunately, other people have their eyes opened. It dawns on them that if I can take off on these little trips, surely they can too.)

I think some of these people are so grumpy and jealous because they don’t DO anything. They need to take a class, take a trip, something. Maybe they’re too scared to do anything. I don’t get it.

12

Holy shit! Are you a DCT? My sister was (a direct care technician). She worked the night shift, taking care of folks in a Colorado state home. Most of them were there for the most horrible reasons (one was hit in the head with a cast-iron frying pan at six and became basically a vegetable, another was almost smothered with a pillow but ended up alive but brain damaged) it was difficult work (like you said doing things most folks can’t comprehend) but my sister, like you, was good at it and okay with it.

During the night shift she had a lot of free time that she used to read or study; however, the bulk of her co-workers just spent the time gossiping and generating rude rumors about other workers that actually had a life… it was a really horrible place to work. Not because of the patients because they were basically children in adult bodies but because of the other workers. These were folks with NO life outside of work so they glorified every bit of gossip and snide crap into major controversies just to pass the time.

It broke my sister’s heart but she had to quit because the shit about her got worse and worse until she just couldn’t take it anymore. They said she was a lesbian because she lived with another woman (been there myself on this; the other woman was my older sister. In my younger sister’s case it happened to be our mother). This didn’t dissuade the gossip mongers. They INSISTED that she was a lesbian that liked “older” women. So, she got “banned” from caring for the elderly women on the ward. Then someone came up with the idea that she really liked young boys (I think this was because my older sister visited with her son) and then she couldn’t help male patients either. It was sick, stupid, untrue and just flat out weird. She quit.

Sadly, she really cared about her wards. She was able to give them dignity even when they shit their pants. My sister is able to do something I could never do; offer comfort and dignity to someone who has no control. In her way, she gave them a bit of sunlight and control by being in tune and loving them no matter what. Her co-workers, who were of the mind these folks only did this to annoy them, made her work impossible. I say sadly she quit because she was one of the few who really cared. When those assholes got done with their little witch hunt the only folks left standing were their own little clique of assholes who treated these poor folks like shit. I shudder at how they ended up treating these people.

And hon, you hit the nail on the head. Most of these folks have no fucking idea that there is this whole great big wonderful world out there. A world of travel, hobbies, friends, love… all these things that live BEYOND the job… they just can’t/won’t see it. Sadly, I think these assholes run most of the work a day world…

13

Byz: Yep, that is basically what I do. But it is a little better than what your sister endured. We often work alone, in these residential homes. This is a different program (I think it’s fairly new, I’m not sure) where some of the “higher functioning” people live in homes, out in the community. Three to a house, one staff member there at all times. For most of my shift I work alone, just doing the chores and tending to the needs of the people I look after. It’s a peaceful job, in a lot of ways. If you stay off the phone (gossiping with co-workers in other houses) and keep your nose clean, things will go relatively OK. (Relatively. I hope. Knock on wood.)

The problems your sister endured sound SO familiar!!! Oh my gosh - people are alike all over, aren’t they? Things don’t get quite as bad where I work though, but that’s because we usually work alone. Less chance for mischief, I guess. But the potential is there with some of my co-workers, and if we worked on some sort of ward together, I’m sure things would get much worse.

And it is a tragedy that your sister was driven away from something that she was so good at. Too often this is the problem with my line of work. The really caring, good people get driven off because they actually give a damn. So far, that hasn’t happened to me. I think it’s because the people I work directly with are (mostly) decent. And our bosses seem to be OK. They seem to see the “big picture” - meaning, they don’t listen to the petty gripings of these pathetic gossips, but rather go by what they see for themselves. It’s hard to keep good people, and they are not eager to get rid of anyone. They don’t want to alienate the people who are doing a good job over petty shit.

Deja VU!!! That’s it exactly.

It is sad. And it’s really sad because, honestly, I have a pretty boring life. I do! I think so, anyway. But apparently it has more color and activity than some of these other people. THAT’S amazingly sad, let me tell you! :wink:

I used to try to rationalize that maybe these people couldn’t get out and do more things because money was tight. But wait a minute! Money is tight with me, money was tight with my parents when I was growing up. But we always did things! We just thought certain things were important, and we managed to afford them. We didn’t need a new car every few years. We’d keep it for 10+ years. (My current car is a 1987 Dodge Colt. Still plugging away.) We’d rather spend our money on good vacations, lots of books, lots of music, etc. We went to the library a lot. When I was a kid, some of the people in our shabby little neighborhood were jealous because my dad got my mom a really nice grand piano. (But we had a shabby house, and a shabby car, still.) My mom played and sang beautifully - and my dad loved to listen to her. We were rich because of that piano. It was far more important than any new car - the old one ran just fine. But I guess some people would choose a new car, and go without other beautiful things. Eh. Whatever.

14

Oh, I’d take that piano any day! I too have an old car (1993 Subaru with only 45K miles since I don’t drive much) she is pristine and I get told all the time how I should get a new flashy car but why? It wouldn’t impress me so… I’d rather invest my money in books, my house, my causes… and I’m happy.

A lot of people don’t get that. I’m just happy with my life. I don’t have the “best” car or house or clothes but I have what I need, what I want and I love it!

I think that’s the key; be happy with yourself and your life; that is really the very best “revenge” you can ever hope to have against the assholes in this world! Really, happiness just drives them apeshit!

:slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

15

You have a 93 car? Hell, it hasn’t even gotten rid of the “new car” smell, then! :smiley: With only 45K miles, it would be a total waste and a crime to get rid of it!!

And yes, the best revenge is living well. I can’t say I’m always peachy keen happy (who is?) but the things that I think are imporant are not expensive things. (Except for travel. Sometimes that can add up. But I always stay at Motel 6, so it’s all relative!) The things that give me the most pleasure are things that feed the soul. Like music, art, etc. I daresay that most of the people that are drawn to this board are the same way. I just get that impression.

There’s nothing wrong with the nicer, more expensive things. But I have known people who always have a shiny new car, but they never go anywhere with it. I guess they figure, with all those car payments, they can’t afford to go on a vacation. Or whatever. I don’t get it. It’s sad.

And you’re right - happiness does drive the assholes apeshit. They WANT you to envy them, I think. They WANT you to want to be like them, to be as petty and as miserable as they are. But when you go your own way, and are busy with your own thing, they can’t stand it. Don’t you realize that the things that they think are important should be important to you as well? How dare you - for not being as miserable as they are!

16

This guy was just weird. I’ll call him Al.

He got hired by us basically out of pity. He was the messenger at one department chief’s former company. This was about the extent of his abilities.

The weird things:
[ul]
[li]He smoked the smelliest, large cigars I’ve ever seen. They were about 9-12 inches long, and probably only cost him 25 cents apiece. His first day, back when smoking in the office was OK, he was asked by smoking superiors not to smoke the stogies in the office. He complied, but he lit up every time he got outside.[/li]
[li]His politics were between Rush Limbaugh and Timothy McVeigh. But he didn’t have near the intelligence to back up his arguements.[/li]
[li]Completely unhygenic. It was a concerted effort to stand within 3 feet of Al at any time. I think he showered once a week, but only if he needed to.[/li]
But the topper was this: He had a cheap radio that he shuttled back and forth to work (he didn’t trust the cleaning crew). One day, after going through his daily bitchfest about how difficult it was to plug in his radio to the outlet behind his desk, he was quietly doing some paperwork. Then he started swatting the desk every few seconds. Then he asked me if I knew a good way to rid a radio of cockroaches! Yes! His home environment was so filthy that cockroaches felt the need to nest inside a radio. (I got roach spray that lunchhour and sprayed a defensive line around my deskspace.)

[li]Goes along with unhygenic, but deserved another bullet: He once bought Rocky Mountain Oysters (bull testicles) at the store to take home. But instead of placing them in the refrigerator until then, he kept them in plain view on his desk, letting the juices from the bag run over his desk![/li]
[li]The first year that men were in charge of the Thanksgiving luncheon, most of us men were busy wrapping up leftovers. Al got the aluminum foil, pulled out about a foot of it, then couldn’t figure out how to tear it in a straight line. He pulled off three triangles of foil before he got fed up and left. It was all a coworker and I could do to keep from laughing.[/li]
[li]On his desk, he had a picture of his family. His wife looked like she was a couple of dimes short of a quarter. But the scary part were his kids (omigod yes, he had bred). They looked so on the inbred side.[/li]
[/ul]

17

My husband still does some occasional consulting at the place where he used to work. The guy they hired after him, to replace him (sort of) is a complete nutcase. He has a vicious temper and believes that everyone is out to get him, that everything is political.

Last year he asked my husband if he could help him get an adjunct teaching job in the department where my husband taught (asked for contact names, etc). Husband felt a little threatened as there was only one position–he felt like Psycho Man was trying to get his job, so he told him to back off. Well, Psycho Man FREAKED OUT. He sent my husband a huge email full of flames. One of the things he said–and he meant this honestly–is that he hoped my husband would get a horrible brain tumor and die an agonizing death. He also went and told his embellished version of their confrontation to everyone in the office who still knew my husband.

He’s gotten so bad that they recently asked him to start working from home because his temper is so disruptive. They’ve talked to him about it multiple times, and he just doesn’t believe that he is ever out of control. Every time I hear about another workplace shooting, I wonder when we’ll be hearing about one in Ann Arbor thanks to Psycho Man. For the life of me I don’t know why they don’t fire him.

He looks normal which is pretty scary. He’s just got a hair-trigger temper and absolutely no sense of reason. He scares the hell out of me.

18

I went to the elevator bank and pressed the down button. A few seconds later a guy came up and pressed the up button. The up elevator came first. He turned to me with a smile and said: “I win”.

19

I have a weird guy at work too. In general he is very normal, nice, does his job and causes no disruptions. But he has a very vaguely creepy habit of being very interested in what I have for lunch and commenting on how much of it I have eaten. I don’t know if he is this way with others or not, but it creeps me out, especially because he is older than me (I’m 27, he’s about 50) and I don’t know him very well, nor do I feel like he’s “one of the guys” that I hang out and joke with here. I know he is married and at all other times I have seen him (meetings, etc.) he is completely normal.

Anyway, when I’m eating lunch he walks up to the entrance of my cubicle and just stands there, silently. (I usually eat at my desk and work through lunch) I don’t know how he knows when I’m eating because I almost never eat at the same time from day to day. So, he just stands there, until I realize there’s someone behind me and turn around. But he still won’t say anything until I say something along the lines of, “Did you need something, Bob?” and he will say something like, “Lunch, eh?”
“Uh, yes, I am eating lunch.” I’ll reply. (These conversations are always very stilted and weird)
Then he will sort of peer over me to look at what I’m having and say something like, “And you’ve eaten the entire thing.” or “And you didn’t save me any.” or “You ate your whole lunch already?”
Sometimes he’ll find me in the break room when I’m heating up my lunch and he says things like, “Lunchtime so soon?” even though I’ve been there since 7 and am eating my lunch at 1.

Every time we have one of these weird conversations I’ll basically reply “Yep.” and leave the break room or ask him if he needs anything else and turn back to my computer.

Cree-py! Sometimes I just want to say to him, “What’s the deal with you and my lunch?” but I get the feeling he would be like Chandler’s weird roommate Eddie and act like it never happened.

20

Actually, that one’s pretty funny.

Check out this week’s Dilbert, starting here. The guest character is Topper, who will top you no matter what.