To see what I’m getting at, read today’s column, which is purportedly written by a teenage delinquent who’s now doing life in prison:
Does ANYTHING is that letter sound remotely plausible? Does ANYTHING in that letter sound like it was written by a 16 year old “gang banger”?
Even “Go Ask Alice” was more plausible than this!
But I have a hunch Abby will be asked to reprint this every few months, just like the classic “Please God, I’m Only 17!”
Hmm, Abby’s daughter is the new Abby, huh?
You think it’s fake just because the 16 year-old writes like a middle-aged white woman would think a “gangbanger” sounds like? Well, you may have a point. I’m still trying to understand how helping a “homeboy” from getting hurts ends up with four consecutive life sentences. I’m just not following the chain of events there.
That’s what struck me too, aside from the fact that it’s sounds nothing close to how a real street kid would talk (or write). Who the hell says “homeboy” anymore?
Why in the fuck are you reading Dear Abby?
But the writer says “That ain’t no joke!” which is clearly the sign of a long-time banger. Duh.
She should get David Simon the next time she needs help running a letter “written” by a “homeboy”.
My sincerest apologies to the OP. I’m having a bad day and I thought this was The Pit. Sorry again.
OTOH, every teen gang banger who reads Dear Abby on a regular basis is undoubtedly well aware of the pitfalls involved in helping out a homeboy.
Like mother, like daughter.
I’m more impressed that the guy found a 92 penny on the ground - and that he’ll always remember his times with his special friend thanks to it.
I don’t read Dear Abby very often - is there a point where she gives advice? Or is this more like “Chicken Soup for the Soul”? Frankly, neither one of those letters seemed to even approach reality.
But it’s a valid question 
I know why I occasionally read her: she’s good for a laugh. And it’s fun to see if she’s yet caught up with modern times.
He even referred to himself as a “gangbanger.” Come on now.
I thought the letter looked suspiciously well-written to be from a gang member, but I suppose we shouldn’t judge; perhaps he’s been getting grammar lessons in prison. On the other hand, I wonder if the letter was postmarked from New Haven?
Bwahaha! I’m glad someone started a thread about this. It cracked me up this morning. I totally thought Abby was going to call the letter a fake, but she went out of her way to insist it was real.
I love it when advice columnists get hoodwinked. I also love it when they just give plain bad advice, as Amy Dickinson is wont to do:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/tribu/askamy/ct-live-0617-amy-20110617,0,136732.column
I thought what you said was a joke.
Do they still try that? Way back when it made me want to go to Yale.
That’s what I was wondering. A real sixteen year old would know that, since kids stopped calling their friends “homeboy” before today’s sixteen year olds were even born.
Where I’m from, we still use it all the time. It is literally just another word for friend.
I normally wouldn’t use it directly at you unless it was tinged with some irony, “Wassup, homeboy, playa, gangsta?”, but I would more seriously use it to refer to your friend, “Omega, where’s your homeboy with the blue car at?” Or my friend, “Oh, Omega? That’s my homeboy.”
I think that folks who think that letter’s grammar is too good to be written by a lil’ thug are way off the mark. I know plenty of little thugs that master the English language and can write the hell out of a prison letter!
And for those wondering how a gangbanger would end up with life sentences for helping a friend, I would guess, shooting that friend’s enemies.
Still, that letter is clearly FAKE FAKE FAKE.
I used to read Dear Abby and Ann Landers as a kid. They’ve never been great advice givers, instead preferring to constantly advise councelling. I have always loved Miss Manners column though. And Hints by Helouis! Man, I kind of miss newspapers.
I do remember one bit of advice Dear Abby gave when I was a kid that was good and has stuck with me. If someone asks something that is none of their business, you just muster up your courage, look them in the eye and say, “Why do you need to know?” Stops them in their tracks most times.
But again…that letter…fake.