Dear Ed ....an open letter

Dear Ed,
( I feel as though I can call you Ed now ) I wanted to write you a letter saying thanks for replying to my * Ed Zotti * post. I no longer feel that you are in an ivory tower somewhere, looking down on the little people. It’s a good thought to know that you and your staff don’t mind mixing it up a bit with the regular posters in this forum. I sincerely regret however, the rather ugly turn of events as witnessed by the latter half of our thread. It would appear that human beings are always nothing, if not complex.

I hate the idea of “camping up” on two sides firing volleys back and forth, that is how wars are started, so let me just add one personal caveat before closing this thank you letter.

Please cut, paste, archive or whatever you need to do to hold on to this statement I am about to make in perpetuity. I want…nay I * expect * you to paste it on to the opening page of the SDMB if you ever feel the need.

To wit:

I aha, swear that if there is ever a post that offends me to the point that I am no longer confortable or it is no longer enjoyable for me to be on this board, I shall make every endeavor to leave this board. I pledge to refrain at that time, from clicking on any straightdope icon ever, unless I have emotionally recovered from said post, at which time I will return with hat in hand and in a true state of emotional well being as witnessed by all.

*Notary seal here *

I sign before witnesses with my hand on this 13th day of April in the year of our Lord, 2000.

aha

One of the few who have been personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti.

Yours truly,
aha

I B_Line12, swear that if there is ever a post that offends me to the point that I am no longer confortable or it is no longer enjoyable for me to be on this board, I shall make every endeavor to leave this board. I pledge to refrain at that time, from clicking on any straightdope icon ever, unless I have emotionally recovered from said post, at which time I will return with hat in hand and in a true state of emotional well being as witnessed by all.

Notary seal here

I sign before witnesses with my hand on this 13th day of April in the year of our Lord, 2000.

B_Line12

I second that!

Kinda scary to post in one of your threads, aha they usually take a turn for the worse.

:: Checks out the other posters lurking ::


** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

Cross your fingers!!!


One of the few who have been personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti.

Yours truly,
aha

Well, ultress, I’ve got to say its pretty darn brave of you to show up like this, after your role in the Lindberg baby kidnapping. And no, I’m not upset about the time I woke up in your bathtub with a note to “call 911”, and no kidneys. Also, please stop sending those telepathic messages–it drowns out my communications with the Martians, and its not like they have access to email, you know.

Pardon me while I adjust my new tinfoil hat…

I won’t use aha’s statement of offense (although I do like the idea.)

I will say that anything I post here, I understand leaves me open to jokes, innuendo, being ripped on, or being made fun of. I am just fine with that. I save my animosity for idiotic trolls.


We went right out there and refused to do accoustical versions of the electrical songs that we had refused to record in the first place.

WhiteTho do you really have to discuss so much of my private life here on this message board. Really, I had a very good explanation about the kidneys and you should not keep bringing that up. After all it took me forever to get that bathtub clean again.
One more time, it’s not me messing with your communications.


** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

Nuff said, except to say that on the whole, I support and appreciate not only the administrators of this board, but the majority of posters, from whom I’ve learned alot, and who, again for the most part, have my admiration and affection.

Long live the SDMB!


VB
I’ve performed a complete diagnosis of your car. It’s broken.

  • A Wally original!

Is it just me or is there something grammatically wrong with that sentence? It seems to need a few more conjunctions or additional punctuation. Please revise and repost.

I totally agree with Mully and VB on this. And you too, aha and B_Line_12. Like VB said, the vast majority of the posters here have my admiration and respect.

The responses I received when I posted to a very painful topic in GQ was incredible, and showed me the class of people here. Very Classy. Thanks all.


You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>

:::sniff::: I love you guys. Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a heap o’ orgasm letters to wade through.

We love you too Ed.
Ok, now quitcher snarflin and go to work.

I just feel sooo fucking warm all over right now.


Hi, aha, how the hell are ya? Glad to have you here.
Ed Zotti

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/art/980424.gif

Ultress (see above) admitted to stealing my kidneys. (Then sold them on ebay!)

Moreover, the Straight Dope is responsible, because the original idea came from the Have people actually waked up in bathtubs with their kidneys stolen? column.

I demand that the Straight Dope buy me replacements–at least one, preferably two–with the correct number of connecting arteries, and everything. Plus, a three week island vacation, to convalesce from the stress. And a pony. And a second pony, so the first one doesn’t get lonely. Plus 100 biliion dollars

Yeah, and he ended the sentence with a preposiion, too.

Actually you are much cuter than the pic you posted…


** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

Thanks to Arnold and Ukelele Ike, I have spent the past hour crying and hugging myself in a dark room.

Aawwwww…

pulls out hanky, and hands it to Mully, wipes his eyes for him (he can blow his own nose!).

C’mere, dear. Here’s a hug from purplebear.
{{{{{{{{{{Mully}}}}}}}}}

All better now??? Good.


You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>

Mullinator, I’m so glad I was able to make a difference in someone’s life. I’m getting all misty myself. (pulls out handkerchief - honnnkkk)

Hmm, how about this:

If I ever have a major disagreement with the administration or moderation of this board that cannot be settled peacefully through private e-mail, I will quietly leave without involving the entire board in my dispute and/or making any posts or taking any actions that might contribute to the demise of the board.

LONG LIVE THE SDMB!!!


You’ve got a point there, brother - and one of these days I’m going to figure out what it is. - Cecil Adams

There, there, Arnie. We love ya, ya know.

{{{{{{{Arnie}}}}}}}}}


You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.<a true Wally original!>