No, Euphonious Polemic he doesn’t have an actual obligation to pay the bum, merely a moral obligation.
Seriously though, If the homeless person had a bin set up to receive change then a thanks can be expected but since this was not the case, I think the guy was seeking a bigger help than just a quarter, a hamburger maybe. Hence the misunderstanding.
Or maybe the gutter is where he stashes his quarters.
Ha! Self-defeating prophesy. I made this post only to add to the # of posts. Now, if you would have said that there is no way this thread is going to beat the Pro Bono thread on sheer meaninglessness and stupidity, that’d be tough to argue against.
Probably from sentiments like this:
I can’t possibly imagine.
Don’t know what part of the country you’re from, but here in L.A., panhandlers don’t hold a tin can or other receptacle, unless they are busking. (Which obviously doesn’t count as begging, IMO.) Either they hold a sign saying “WAR VETERAN, UNEMPLOYED, PLEASE HELP” or something along those lines (almost exclusively the freeway panhandlers, who actually make a decent living and usually aren’t even homeless) or they are the scraggly, Aqualung-types who mumble “Spare change, please?” as you walk by. Often they will accost you at gas stations, or street corners, or other places where you don’t want to be bothered, sometimes with a sob story, sometimes without. It is part of urban life here, and AFAIK it’s no different in NYC, Chicago, Boston, or any other major metropolis.
And FCOL, the guy did ask me for spare change! Twice while I was wandering up and down Wilshire like a moron, and again just before I handed him the quarter. It’s not like I threw money at him unprovoked!
Yep, I’m getting that feeling. (I can see by your location you know exactly what I’m talking about.)
How do you know he’s on crack, anyway? And did he know you were tossing him anything? I’d probably have trouble catching something as small as a quarter, especially if I wasn’t prepared, and I’d be fairly annoyed with you. And I’m not even on crack OR a bum.
Plus, there’s just something about tossing money that seems douchey to me, regardless of the context. I worked as a cashier in a gas station in high school, and I always felt really condescended to when people did that.
Not my problem – I’ve dealt with enough mental patients in my life to know that you can’t help most of them, and many of them simply don’t want to be helped. As for Emily Post…c’mon, we’re talking general common courtesy, not how to respond to a dinner invitation.
You catch it and say “Thanks!” It’s a no-brainer.
You knew that already, didn’t you?
(Unless you’re a homeless mental patient too…)
It’s really simple, and no one has quite caught it yet. You’re a jerk if you give only because you want something in return. You are a jerk because you think he should have thanked you. You weren’t giving a gift. You were paying him to thank you. Without striking up a deal ahead of time, you had no reason to expect him to give what you wanted.
The quarter only comes in because even “bums” know that a quarter is a lousy price for a thank you. The guy could have gotten that from off the sidewalk. And there are people and places giving away stuff that is worth more than a quarter to the impoverished without expecting something back.
As for tossing money–meh. It’s overly familiar, but ordinarily no big deal. But, since he doesn’t know you, it could easily be interpreted poorly, as either not wanting to have the decency to get close to him again, or that you were actually trying to throw it at him as some people here have assumed.
Ugh. Nobody chooses to be mentally ill, and it quite often is the illness that keeps them from seeking help. Thus it is bigotry to condemn these people.
And, anyways, the fact that you apparently have this pathological need to be thanked for any kindness you do is often a symptom of a Narcisistic Personality Disorder. One of the worst disorders for not wanting to get psychological help.
ETA: Okay, so OCD could also work. But there are other personality disorders, such as OCPD that would work.
And, yes, I hope you get help if my armchair diagnosis is correct. But, even if it’s not, your desire to be thanked by this guy does indicate something odd.
I think it’s pathological itself. I remember when Shaquille O’neal gave money to help the the George Mikan survivors bury the recently deceased basketball legend. Noble gesture indeed (if you can consider giving up thousands when you own millions noble); ruined by the fact that O’neill praised his act on nation television. Look, if you want to help someone else, I mean really help them, do it without any expectation of compensation or recognition. That is truly helping someone. Don’t announce and praise your own act in a public forum.
Who the hell tosses beer at people? Somebody could get hurt, or splashed or something.
I wound up down in Brentwood with an hour to kill…
Better the hour than your blonde ex-wife and the bartender.
For the record, I previously lived in an inner-urban area that was renowned for its population of homeless folk: just down the road was St Mary’s House of Welcome which provided food, showers and support for those who were unable to look after themselves. IOW, I am not entirely unfamiliar with the problems and issues that the homeless present. :rolleyes:
That being said, I have never felt the need to disparage them either. Nor have I felt the need to use such language as our OP does. I have felt frustration, pity, and sometimes shame that I was not able or willing to help these folk more. Yeah, I’ve been pissed-off that the driver would not evict the totally stroppy and VERY stinky old guy who was ponging up the tram…I’ve been angry with the young couples with the little tots in prams begging outside the Station, great role-modelling that. 
But I also realise that the ‘faceless person on the street’ could easily have been me had I not been born into the right family circumstances, or if I’d suffered a mental illness, or lost a job at the wrong time, or experienced a physical disability that did not merit government support. There but for the grace of good bloody luck etc etc.
So next time you feel like chucking a coin at a ‘bum’, maybe take a step back and think about how it might feel if you were walking in HIS shoes.
[QUOTE=fuzzypicles]
Earlier today, somehow I wound up down in Brentwood with an hour to kill…
[/QUOTE]
How the hell do you not know how you ended up in Brentwood and with an hour to kill? Somehow!? Maybe he was abducted, dropped off in Brentwood and told not to leave for an hour.
Geez, I buggered up the link and left it too late to edit, sorry
St Mary’s House of Welcome
See? That’s better 
You got it all wrong, Jack. I didn’t give for any reason except that I felt like it. Saying “Thank you” is common courtesy – everyone knows that, or at least they should. Let’s say you get an Xmas present that you don’t like. Do you say “Thank you!” (even if it’s a lie), or do you snort derisively and smash the present in front of the person who gave it to you? If it’s the latter, well, don’t expect to ever get another Xmas present, even one you might like, especially from that person.
I really don’t give a rats ass if he felt a quarter was a slight to him, or if he was just pissed that 25c won’t buy him his next fix. Any decent, worthwhile human being would say “Thanks!” even if he’s thinking otherwise! This ungrateful tramp clearly deserves to be a stinking mess on Wilshire Boulevard, if that’s the attitude he displays towards anyone who gives him anything. He deserves his fate, and I feel absolutely zero sympathy for him, and neither should you.
It’s a quarter. It’s not entirely worthless. A quarter will increase his net worth a hell of a lot more than it would decrease mine, which is why I played against type and gave it to him. It’s not like I’m tipping a waitress or negotiating a contract.
You are right that nobody chooses mental illness…but many mentally ill choose not to seek help. Let me repeat – they choose NOT to seek help. It’s like being an alcoholic who refuses to quit drinking…eventually, you can only reach the conclusion that they have zero interest in facing up to their illness, which proves lack of character, at the very least.
Look, it’s easy for armchair psychiatrists like yourself to express sympathy for a syndrome you’ve only read about in books or seen in syrupy TV ads. But if you ever spend time working in a mental ward, you’ll discover that the “sympathy” aspect quickly wears thin. Heck, the whole reason I quit volunteering as a social worker was because I could no longer pretend to feel sympathy for these poor wrecked souls anymore. Does that make me a bigot? If you want to define it that way…then so be it.
It’s not about luck, or bad circumstances. It’s about dealing with whatever curve balls life throws at you. I’ve dealt with tough situations in the past, where I could have easily given up and joined the homeless and crazy. Instead, I chose to get clean, man up, take responsibility for my own actions, and face my problems in a logical, rational manner. Guess what? I’m still alive, living on my own and gainfully employed. I’ve known other people who had it far worse than me, and succeeded even better than I have. I’ve also known people whose problems were trivial by comparison, but they chose to let their problems rule their lives. And while not all of them ended up homeless, they certainly aren’t happy campers. See what I mean? It’s all about choice.
Is it? Is it really?
Not true. If so, this thread wouldn’t exist.
I’ve just re-read the OP (for the third time) and the following posts, and have realised that this is one great big trolling whoosh.
Sorry to rain on your parade OP, but it’s pretty ordinary, and I have better things to do, like pick my toenails or summat.
Toodles. :rolleyes:
I think my feet would be sore, and my toes would be cold. They don’t seem to have very nice shoes.