It's amazing, how ungrateful some people can be.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I could have sent this to the pit, but it’s more of a lamentation than an angry rant. Last night, I began to make some baked squash, realized the squash I had was pretty much rotten, so I went to the store to pick up another.

When I got there, there was a bum sitting on the bench outside, asking everyone who passed if they had some change so he could get a bottle of water. Everyone he asked ignored him completely, and I heard him mutter defeatedly, “Please, I just want some water.”

It had been a hot day and was a pretty warm night, so I felt sorry for him. I really don’t have the extra to spend right now, but while in the store I picked up a bottle of water and a granola bar as well. I went back out and handed them to him and said, “I thought you might be hungry too.”

He didn’t say thanks - he didn’t even look at me - he just took the water and waved the bar away, saying, “I can’t have that, one of my teeth hurts…do you have $10 you could give me? I need a place to sleep.”

I could not believe this. Here a total stranger goes out of her way to give this guy what little she can and he asks for more without even a thank you?? Well, I told him, “Sorry man, I’m pretty much broke…this is all I can help you with.”

His response was to shake his head. I just shrugged and left. As I was leaving I heard him moan loudly to himself, “Nobody cares about me…I guess I’ll have to sleep in the park tonight…Again…”

I doubt this guy was really going to use any money given to him towards a place to sleep. I hate to say it but I have the feeling he’d rather put it towards a bottle of cheap wine or a hit of some drug.

I feel kind of stupid now, for trying to help. And insulted. And yet sorry for him in a way. I wonder what circumstances led him to being where he is now.

2

I think you did the absolute right thing by getting him the water. You showed sympathy and compassion in a most appropriate form for today’s day and age.

I commend you.

3

Probably his attitude. :frowning:

Sorry you had to go through that, AFG - I’ve been there. You think you’re doing something good for someone, they’re begging for your help, so you get them what you can and then a little tiny bit more - and they’re ungrateful. I hate to say it, but he might not have even been homeless. Just a scam artist.

I only give to one homeless fellow these days. I don’t know what he uses the money for, but his eyes light up and get teary (which could be an act) but he says the magic words: “Thank you.” Sometimes he says more than that, but as long as he’s grateful, I give him a buck when I see him. It’s not much, but he’s always so thankful for it, so he always gets it. Sometimes I bring him an apple or some water, and he hugs me for that. He doesn’t seem drunk, at least. At least, not when I see him.

4

Years ago I worked near a corner that was always heavily populated with what appeared to be homeless people. One day when I was heading back to work after lunch I was stopped at the light when I spotted a person with a “will work for food” sign. I had gotten lunch but realized that I really didn’t feel like eating it (coming down with a cold). I rolled down the window and asked him if he liked fish. He very gratefully accepted my slightly old and cold Long John Silver’s and said “don’t worry about it, thank you, thank you” when I had to apologize that it was probably cold and for having already drunk the coke I had gotten too.

A few weeks after that, on my way home, I was approaching the other side of the same corner when I saw someone with a similar sign (only it was “Will work for ride to Denton”). The thing was, it was very hot and he had his dog with him. I zipped into McDonald’s and got several burgers and two big waters. When I got to the guy I told him I couldn’t take him to Denton, but did he need anything to eat? He said it had been however many days so I gave him the bag and the cups and told him they were for him and his dog. He looked in the bad, then had the audacity to look back at me and say “I would rather have had Filet-o-Fish.” If it hadn’t been for the poor dog I would have yanked the bag back.

5

A few years ago, in the aforementioned city of Denton, I stopped by the best submarine sandwich shop in town and got a big-ass sub with everything on it. Except tomatoes… can’t stand tomatoes.

As I was crossing over the highway to head back home, I saw a guy sitting by the light with one of those work-for-food signs.

I offered him my sandwich.

He REFUSED it, saying he can’t eat sandwiches.

WHO can’t eat a sandwich?!?! Take the bits you don’t like off, eat the rest! Eat JUST the bread? Eat JUST the bits you DO like? Eat SOMETHING from it.

But to refuse an entire sandwich?

Yeah, I don’t stop for these guys anymore.

6

I wouldn’t doubt it - he had this aura of “poor lil’ ol’ me, won’t somebody help me?” about him. He’s definitely homeless, I’m sure I’ve seen him wandering around before, plus he was visibly dirty and the stench coming off him signalled that he’d gone quite awhile without a shower.

I agree with the “beggars can’t be choosers” philosophy. if someone is truly in need, they won’t turn down whatever forms of help are offered to them.

7

The best way to help, if you’re so inclined, is to donate to the local shelters and churches that assist the homeless, not give to them directly.

If I were homeless and hadn’t eaten and had nowhere to sleep, I can’t imagine not showing gratitude for someone offering help.

8

Apparently they can :smiley:

It does explain a long way towards why he is where he is.

9

Looks like it isn’t just the rich and famous who have a monopoly on bad manners then. Oh well.

Of course it’s rude to refuse an offer of food when you’re claiming to be hungry; my experience, however, is that most homeless people seem to gratefully receive any such offerings. I think the homeless demographic over here is a bit different though - the homeless folks here, although their situation may have been initiated by their own action or inaction, are very often stuck in a predicament from which escape is difficult or impossible.

10

If they are homeless, they most probably have bad teeth. Don’t get me wrong, I think that offering food was a great gesture, but as anyone who has had painful teeth can tell you, sometimes you really can’t eat a sub sandwich or a granola bar. When my TMJ was bad, I couldn’t eat a sandwich or anything chewy, crunchy, or anything that was thicker than my finger. Of course if I was homeless and hungry, I would have found a way.

To only hijack a little, this is why I stopped working for Habitat for Humanity. With one exception, the homeowners I met were ridiculous. One guy and his son were talking in their native language right after we had framed out their first floor. Another volunteer asked what they were saying and the son said his dad was complaining that the house was too small :rolleyes: Another guy had to personally approve every stud put in his walls lest they have too many knot holes or be slightly crooked :rolleyes: Then he told a professional roofing crew how to do their job that they were donating their weekend and equipment to do :rolleyes: Then there was the guy who complained that his new neighbors (the other ones getting a dirt cheap house) were ‘low class’ :rolleyes: ^10

11

I don’t know that I’d ever expect a homeless person to act in the manner that you or I have grown accustomed to in traditional society. There’s often times either a good reason they’ve ended up where they are or, conversely, being where they are has fundamentally changed them into something we’ve trouble understanding. No matter what the reason, just give without expectation of appreciation and if they should respond with graciousness then hey, all the better.

I’ve usually been met with some unexpected replies too, AFG, and sadly have come to expect nothing more rational. Doesn’t matter though does it, as we give for another reason entirely.

12

You did a really cool thing Amazon! It made my day actually. Please don’t let the fact that he was a jerk squash the part of you that wants to do things like this. :slight_smile:

13

I’ve been homeless and I would’ve appreciated the gesture, the kindness, and the food.

You did the right thing. Some people have a penchant for being whiny self-centered folks. It may not be why he’s homeless, but it isn’t helping.

14

Puts me in mind of the time a homeless-looking sort asked me for a cigarette. I gave him a smoke and a light. He promptly spat it on the ground, stepped on it, and cursed me for not having menthols.

This is one reason why I have formed the tradition on field trips of whipping the unused bag lunches out the bus windows at homeless people.

15

I may have told this story before, but…

My K of C council provided volunteer labor for a local homeless shelter/soup kitchen. We would donate and serve food as well as provide fixer-up services for the facility.

I was tasked with replacing the bottom panel of a door that had apparently been kicked and broken. I’m lying on my back, sweaty and irritated, trying to fit the new piece in to the fixture, when one of the clients going by looks down at me and says derisively: “Yeah, that’s right. Fix my shit!”

I came close to getting up and leaving.

But it occurred to me that we weren’t doing this work for praise or gratitude, just as we were not doing it for payment. We were doing it for charity, which was supposed to be its own reward.

It’s infuriating when the recipient of your charitable efforts is not grateful, no question… but is gratitude really why you extend charity?

16

I’d have been looking around for the hidden camera; that one’s just too good to be true.

17

floozy,

i think you were looking for a normal reaction (gratitude) from someone who most likely has a lot of mental health issues.

18

Having seen homeless people continue begging “for food” immediately after being given food, I pretty much ignore them now.

19

Why? It’s not like they only need food once in their whole life, is it?

I was once surprised that none of the homeless people I’ve given food tucked into it straight away; they were obviously very much in need of it, but on reflection, if the guy trying to sell you a copy of The Big Isuue is stuffing his face with a bacon sandwich, you might not feel quite so inclined to help, even though help is still needed.

20

It was apparent to me that it was a scam. It’s also not like the homeless have lots of places to store food, so I really think the people I’ve observed were hoping for money for drugs.

The issue of begging was one of the reasons I left NYC for Providence.