Designed to eliminate the need for buttons and to make seams lay flat. Fabulous, you say? Except the fucking piece of shit things won’t do up over seams. And wont pull up over interfacing. And catch little bits of trouser lining in them, ripping the lining.
I’m sitting in my fucking office in my cute tweed suit with my fucking hidden pant zipper undone 4 cm because the stupid fucking god damn fucking cunt of a thing won’t pull up over the interfacing. I’ve spent 15 minutes in the bathroom trying to do it up. I’ve now given up, and I’m just going to sit here with my pants undone like I’ve eaten too much holiday turkey.
I shouldn’t need to use a god-damn, cunting pair of pliers to do up my fucking pants in the morning.
Just to cover all angles here. Did you stop by the local Krispy Kreme on the way to work today? I’ve heard that doing so will make zippers and buttons fail.
Its used in the waistband of trousers, and the armpits of tops and dresses, among other things.
Nope - the pants aren’t tight at all. The zipper meets easily, there is just a little ‘blip’ where the interfacing is that the stupid thing can’t pull over. It doesn’t help that it’s a side zip so I have to contort myself to try to get a good look at it.
Is this also the guy that invented zippers that have too much of that flappy fabric covering them so whenever I try and zip it up it catches the flappy part and takes me five years to get loose?
And it’s always in a mission critical situation, like when I’m skiing and it happens to my ski pants and then snow penetrates right the fuck in through my perfect armor like I’m fucking Smaug?
Yep - and it’s the same motherfucker that put the zipper on my little kid’s coat so I’m dicking around every morning trying to get him zipped in while simultaneously trying to prevent him from flinging himself out of his crib, keep his boots on, prevent him from strangling the dog, and get out the farganbastageass door reasonably on time.
Also, I asked a sweet little elderly woman who worked at Home Depot if she could help me find a pair of cunting pliers, and she said, “Fucking hidden zipper, right? Aisle 12.”
Oh, god, I feel your pain. What I really hate is the ones that are really hidden hidden, and you have a dress that’s just stretchy enough that you think there isn’t a zipper… only there is, because you try to put it on without one and you pop a stitch somewhere in the dress.
You just know there’s a hidden zipper in the back that’s going to get stuck on that waist detail and you’re going to have to bend yourself into a pretzel to try to coax the son of a bitch over it.
alice - Back when I had a real life and had suits and stuff (not that I’m complaining - I get to wear jeans to work now) I had the same problem. What I got was a seam ripper. I kept it in my purse and it was marvelous for getting interfacing and or seams out of zippers - you just use the end with the little ball on it. It shouldn’t tear through any stitches or fabric if you’re careful. You can just ease the material out of the zipper. It’s a PIA I know, but that’s the price we pay to look good. And I want that suit. Let me know when you’re done with it - I have JUST the shoes to go with it and I love the flared legs!!
