Screw you!
For months I tried, and tried, and tried to sign up
Your website sucks
Whoever designed and implemented it needs to be painted with hot glue, rolled in crepe paper, hung up by their heels and called a pinata.
For weeks the issue was that I needed to enter my SSN
I did enter my SSN
I was sitting right here looking at my SSN
in the little square marked Social Security Number
I tried it with dashes, I tried it without dashes
I send you an email telling of my troubles with your website
and so I put it on hold for a bit
for the benefit of my nerves
and blood pressure
A few more times I gave an half-hearted attempt
It’s not like I had any faith whatsoever that the site would be fixed
I used to be a state employee
I know what you’re like
As the March 31 deadline drew near
I tried, and tried, and tried some more
Now the error message is that I have not filled in all the required spaces and the first name space in highlighted
I typed my first name in again
I tried it in ALL CAPS
I tried it in all smalls
I tried it every way I could think of
and you still tell me it’s wrong
So I look in the list of known errors and it says even though County is not marked with an * which denotes the required fields, county is a required field
so I go back to enter my county and there is no box for county.
I added it behind my street address, no go
I added it behind my town, no go
I added it to every damn space on the page, and still no go
Your website doesn’t not work
Once again I sent you an email outlining my issues with your site
I tried a few more times
and sent a few more emails
I admit each email displayed a little less politeness and a little more frustration
The last in which I told you that I am an ex computer programmer, programming is not rocket science and whom ever designed and implemented your site was an idiot.
I WAS being nice and I think you do not appreciate the amount of restraint
I showed
Finally I gave up and called the help line
The first time I had to listen to a long introduction only to be told I have to call a different number
Like you couldn’t have told me that up front
or hey! how about this?!
you actually put the CORRECT NUMBER on the website
That’s a thought!
My bad! I realize I am expecting too much.
Way too much.
So I got through to a nice lady who listened to my rant, took my information and said somebody would call me within two weeks
Now I get this from you,
repeatedly
as in every other day
*Maryland Health Connection Hotline Status
Dear Consumer:
You are receiving this email because you recently called the Maryland Health Connection hotline and requested additional time to complete your application and enroll in health insurance coverage. Soon, a consumer assistance worker will contact you to assist in completing your application.
Our records indicate that you may not yet have tried to apply online. Before we reach out to you, you may want to take this opportunity to complete your enrollment on Maryland Health Connection. To apply, please use the steps below:
Click http://www.marylandhealthconnection.gov
Click "Enroll Online" (Informational window appears)
Click "Get Started" (Login page appears)
Enter User Name and Password (If you don't have a User Name and Password, please click "Create Account")
Select "Click Here to Start a New Application"
Complete your application
During your application, you will be asked if you attempted to enroll prior to April 1, and experienced technical issues. By selecting “Yes”, you will be able to complete your enrollment.
If you encounter difficulty and require additional assistance, please call 1-844-224-6761 and a consumer service representative will assist you.
If you have successfully enrolled in a health plan, no additional action is required.
Thank you,
Maryland Health Connection
*
No, I did NOT request additional time, I requested help getting through your fucked up dumb ass web piece of shit website.
Your records are wrong. I have tried. Big surprise!
I don’t want you to *reach out *to me, you’re not the Four Tops, there will be NO reaching out. JFC on a pogo stick do you have any idea how stupid that phrase sounds?! The very thought of it makes my skin crawl. You don’t even need to contact me. All you need to do is fix your goddamn website.
I did do the steps below, I did those steps multiple times, I did those steps so many times I can do them in my sleep. That you are so stupid as to not get that does not inspire faith in your competency.
YOUR WEBSITE DOES NOT WORK!!!
I will NOT attempt it again because if I do and it does not work I may make ‘going postal on you’ look like child’s play.
How about we do this, YOU call me and YOU pull up the website and I will tell YOU what to enter and YOU make it work, and YOU can have the frayed nerves and YOU can have the rising blood pressure and YOU can deal with the frustration and irritation that YOU have foisted on me.
That you have been sending me this exact same email every other day since I called your so-called help-line does not inspire faith. That you don’t get that the problem is on your end does not inspire faith.
In closing I wish I had something nice to say
but I don’t.
So I leave you with a one finger salute.
I’m sorry you can’t see it.