What the fuck is up with you? You know, when you had the screaming fight with the guy who works across the office a few weeks ago that went on for an HOUR, most of it right in front of my desk, I never said anything. This is a newsroom, after all, and principled/opinionated people work here. And when I jokingly mentioned to our boss not to provoke you, it was just that-a joke.
And if you wanted to pretend you “didn’t remember” what that fight was all about (even though you caused such a scene the rest of us can’t forget it) that’s your perogative. And maybe I shouldn’t have ribbed you a little bit about your sudden amnesia. But to then say to me “For someone who picks fights with everyone in this office you should pick your battles” and scamper from the room was the act of a cowardly, immature, thin-skinned BITCH.
Guess what? I’ve had as many fights picked with me in this office as I have started. And all my little disagreements that never amounted to anything (and in which neither I nor anyone else ever raied our voices) hardly outweigh your marathon screaming match.
Guess I shouldn’t bother being nice to you anymore, cunt. Eat shit and die.
How old are these people?
She is around 25; the guy she was fighting with was in his mid-to-late 30s.
Watch the UK tv series Drop the Dead Donkey. It won’t fix the problem, but you may find it easier to laugh at after that.
Did she tell him he had bad hair, or that he looked like a blueberry?
Rule #15: Never mention her Flying Monkees in the workplace.
Double-check. Look around carefully.
Are you SURE that you aren’t in a junior high school cafeteria?
Sounds like some good old fashioned office prankin’ is needed. Try this one: get a rubber band and tie it around her phone cord, essentially making it very short. Then give her a call and watch her pull it off the desk.
If that doesn’t work, there’s always the simple piece of tape on the bottom of her mouse. Or pull her computer’s power cord so it’s just barely plugged in, and hope she kicks it out while on a deadline. 
[hijack]Is that still on? When I was over there for Uncle Sam nearly two decades ago, I started watching and thought the series was hilarious. I made it a point to follow British news to understand more of the show, and realized that the understanding made it even funnier.[/hijack]