Dear So and So....

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

Dear Lady who exited before me at Dunkin Donuts today,

I was surprised that you apologized, as I got too used to the entitlement behavior of this area. In all honesty, you opened the door wide enough that it was no big deal that you didn’t notice me behind you. I’m pretty quiet when running errands, so I don’t expect people to notice I’m behind them, but thank you for being sincere in your apology, even after I told you that it was okay and that there was no harm done. It’s refreshing to know that I’m not the only honest and considerate person out here. I hope someone else makes you stop and think about how much hope is left for the world like you did today; it made me smile to know that someone still cares.

Sincerely,

that quiet girl behind you.

42

Barb,
Sorry for the way I treated you when we were just kids. If I knew then what I do now, I never would have done any of that. Sorry for any trouble it caused in your life, and thank you for forgiving me for it. But asking me to be in your wedding was still totally weird an inappropriate. I’m sorry that my refusal meant that we couldn’t be friends anymore, but I’ll always be curious where you’re at and what you’re doing. I hope you drop me an email sometime.

J,
I will absolutely never, ever forgive you for what you did to me and my life. I will never forget the damage, the sleepless nights. I will never look at you as anything other than pure evil, a wrecking ball of bullshit that I regret ever talking to, much less being friends with for over 10 years. I hope you rot in shit. I hope nothing but bad things happen to you until you die the worst, most painful death imaginable. You deserve nothing less than that. I am bitter and hateful, and see no end in sight. I hate you for making me this bitter and hateful towards another human, although calling you a human is a stretch.

H,
Thanks for being patient with me. I know I’m an idiot sometimes.

Lady at the gas station,
Thanks for giving me free sodas sometimes. I know you just don’t feel like ringing them up and it’s easier to just give them to me free, but it brightens my day whenever you do it. So thanks.

43

Dear Mrs. S,

If there is any justice, you will one day wake up screaming for what you did to me. I came to you as a student teacher eager to learn what I needed to know to be a good teacher. You buried me under a huge load of work; you made me re-write each and every lesson plan at least 3 times; you ridiculed me in front of the students; you made me do all your grading, even for the classes unrelated to my coursework; you made me stay after school to listen to you bitch about your marriage; you refused to share lesson plans; and worse, you told me repeatedly that I would never pass my student teaching experience.

You were right that teaching was not the right path for me because I did not have very good classroom management skills. Sometimes, I think I should thank you for steering me away from teaching before I ended up in a position where I would have had to break a contract to get out. However, this was not your decision to make. Due to your position in the school, you were untouchable. You were good friends with my advisor, so I could not go to him about the problems. I remember getting up at 5 AM each day and going to bed at 10 PM and still not being able to get through the work load you piled on top of me. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I had sacrificed many things to go back to school and get through the program. Yet, even at my breaking point, you began attempting to load me down with even more classes and personal assessments for all 120 students.

I remember the day that it all ended and I got pulled from the program. I still feel proud that I did not break down crying in front of the class that day. Have you ever experienced a moment where you knew that it was all over, all the work, all the tears, just over? I got to experience it in front of you and 35 students. Luckily, although I never told my advisor how cruel you were and how you conspired to push me out, he helped me to pull my academic career out of the disposal and graduate without a teaching degree.

By the way, you were the worst teacher I have ever met. Even though I will never enter another high school classroom, I know that teaching is more than reading from the textbook for 20 minutes, letting your classes gossip the rest of the hour, and photocopying the tests out of the teachers manual. Enjoy your next incarnation as a dung beetle.

melangell

44

Dear person who stole my shrub from my porch,

I hope you’re happy that I feel more uneasy in my house than I ever have.

Signed,
Me

45

Dear Dad,

I can’t believe it’s been almost 11 years - boy a lot’s happened, so much I could tell you… I’m sorry you never met C. You’d love him, he’s a lot like you in so many ways. Hey, I finally ended up with someone worthy of your example! You’d have made a great grandpa, too. We all miss you a lot.

Pieces, B xxx

46

Dear Dad,

Thanks for punching me in the chest with your fist when I was 12-years-old, because I was too slow returning with the shovel borrowed from Aunt Beck, who had a hard time moving around due to arthritic.

I really learned how to be a man, that day and others like it.

47

To The Lady Down the Street,
Thank you for throwing out an entire hockey bag filled with kids hockey stuff. In excellent condition.

Everything included, except skates. Had to be at least $400 worth of gear in there.

I know you were probably sick of dealing with the gear and how it explodes in your house on a regular, if not hourly basis, but damn, just tossing out all that equipement has just made me very, very happy. And, it all came in it’s own bag.

It will be put to good use.

I look forward to scrounging your garbage pile in the future.
Toodles,

Your Neighbor 1 mile away.

48

Dear Stupid Horse Lady:
Your stupid horses got out of their pen yesterday morning. Normally, I wouldn’t give a crap, except they got out because you have failed to give us either the cash or the supplies necessary to fix the fence that your big doofus of an Appy broke. Also, they got out and ate my damn peas and zucchini plants! Not just stomped, but actually consumed them. There was not a trace of my veggie patch, but at least there was fresh horseshit to fertilize my next planting :mad:. I am now seriously considering heavy investment in the glue and dog food industries.

Sincerely,
The daughter in law of the guy you are supposed to pay to take care of your dumb, useless, barn sour and/or lame horses and the renter of part of the property said horses occupy.

49

Dear B,

You said you were just going to stay with us for a few months, and agreed to pay us very low (and fair) rent, while you saved money to get married. Since then, you have:

  1. Not paid a dime in rent
  2. Changed your wedding date to MONTHS later
  3. Complained regularly about how BROKE you are, and it’s ALWAYS somebody else’s fault
  4. Gotten in on a superbowl pool that was over $100 a square
  5. Gone on several trips which cost $$$
  6. Broken up with said fiancee
  7. Announced that we shouldn’t be surprised if you bring another girl around
  8. Announced your vacation plans for next year, which include 4 expensive trips
  9. Continued to complain regularly about how BROKE you are, and it’s ALWAYS somebody else’s fault
  10. Complained that our housekeeper didn’t clean your bathroom well enough
  11. Left your bedroom door open so that I could see the porn playing on your TV
  12. Stunk up the house almost every single day with your overwhelming cologne (I can stand outside and smell it)
  13. Criticized my love for Howard Stern, and yet regularly send X-Rated e-mails to my boyfriend.
  14. Gone to church regularly and bragged about it, which I guess is supposed to make you appear to us as being “without blame”
    15-30) Other stuff I can’t recall because there’s so much.

I have had weekly check-ins with your brother, to remind him that he needs to have the conversation with you that you need to move out by your “wedding date”, and that he needs to follow up with you regularly so that it’s not a “surprise” to you when that day comes, and therefore not “our fault” for asking you to leave “on short notice”. I don’t care if you have to live in your car. We’re not supporting you while you make stupid financial (and personal) decisions. It’s been 7 months now, and if you are not out by the original date of your wedding, I’M leaving.

50

Dear W,

I miss you. We all do. And what’s worse, is you’re only 20 minutes away, yet for the past 6 years it is as if you were 20 light years away. You cut me…us…all of your friends… out of your life after you went to Peru, and never gave us a reason. We tried to call you, invite you over, email you… and got nothing back. But then, once in a while, you send something out, a “sorry it’s been so long, how is everyone?” email, and we all get our hopes up. It never lasts, though… two or three messages, and you’re gone again, not to be heard from again for months, or even years. You went to Gs wedding… your former best friend, and I saw you there and I was ecstatic… I thought maybe you were back from wherever you went… you told me you would come to my wedding, you sent your RSVP, I made sure to consider your allergies in the entire menu… and you didn’t show up. No show, not call, no letter, no email, not a single messaged passed on through G or any other friend. That hurt me so much. It’s been 18 months and I can’t let it go, because you were really one of my best friends for so long. Ypu meant so much to me, and now that I’m back, and live close to you again, the fact that you won’t even respond to me is so painful. I just don’t understand why. What did I do? What did G do? Or L? Or even K, who has never hurt a fly? How did we deserve for you to hurt us so much… every time we get together, the conversation invariably turns to you… “have you heard from W? What is he doing? Why won’t he respond?” I read your poetry on your website. Every last poem, every last word. Are you depressed? Do you need help? All of us are still here, willing to be your friend again and be there for you. We want you back, because you were too good a friend to lose like this. What happened to you? What happened in Peru for you to come back and stop living your life? For you to change directions and cut everyone out? You don’t seem to care about much anymore, even based on your Facebook profile. I am tired of being hurt, but a large part of me wants to send you this letter, or a version of it, and see what you do. Part of me wants to walk up to your door, knock, and see what you do. But I don’t think you’d even let me in.

I miss you so much, and I want you back in my life!

:sob:

51

(Something I wrote but never posted to a thread that happened a long time ago: )

Dear ten-year-old Millit,

I want to tell you some things you’re not going to like. But trust me, you’ll be glad I told you now.

Um, how do I say this? You’re not gorgeous, but you have interesting features and you’re an animated conversationalist. Don’t spend so much time worrying about being “pretty”–you’re not a classic beauty and you’ll never get there–worry about being interesting, and people will think you’re amazing anyway. And remember, It’s Just Hair. This should be your motto. It’s just hair, and it will grow back. No matter how many times you screw it up, and you will, because you’re impulsive.

Sorry, but you aren’t very good at the thing that is your “passion.” You’re never going to be good enough at singing or acting to do anything more than have fun. So have fun, quit stressing, and for God’s sake, don’t spend three years of your high school career thinking you’re going to be an actress. Do you know what you’re going to score on your SATs? Get excited about the intellectual stuff now, that’s where your talents lie, and quit crying when the popular girls get cast in Oklahoma.

You’re going to meet the man you will eventually marry when you are 18. Consider this a rude awakening! Stop being afraid of boys! You can marry your first boyfriend and wonder why you were always so scared OR you can explore relationships in high school and maybe have some more fun and gain confidence in yourself. You don’t have to have sex, just get out and date some guys. You know you want to.

Your parents just got divorced, and that sucks. Things are going to be pretty rocky in your home life for several years. Hang in there, get out of the house as much as possible, pursue your own interests, and plan on getting out and away.

All that said, a few things you’ll be happy to hear: Life will never be perfect, and maybe you’ll never be completely satisfied, but you’re going to marry a prince, live in big cities, have meaningful jobs, get things sorted out with your family, and conquer your fear of vegetables.

Love,
25-year-old Millit