Let’s consider this the ‘missed connections’ thread…be it lusty, evil, funny or sad…tell that person something you’ll never get to say…
**To: The Anonymous Welder At The Chicago El Stop **
I think you are so hot. I know you caught me staring at you and giggling like a school girl, and you made a face of confusion, but smiled back shyly you little construction god. Just know that I can’t stop thinking about you. YOU ARE SO SO HOT. You make me forget about all of the celebrities I’m in love with. You surpass them all with the way you lean against the wall, waiting for the train, showing your exhaustion from a day’s work well done.
If I was a bolder, more confident woman, I’d tell you that the next time I saw you down there…you blue collar, oily, be-muscled…hot guy. DAMN. I love you.
and
** To: The Woman and her little girl at the gym **
I think you’re a great mom. Your daughter is three or maybe four years old, ultra curious about life, and you’re so patient with her, teaching her how to put the padlock on the locker, letting her try to dress herself but then jumping in and helping before she gets too frustrated, you don’t talk to her like she’s a baby, or a toy. You talk to her like a quickly growing little girl, and you smile at her, and laugh and joke and let her know that she’s very important and while she may ask a lot of WHY? questions, you don’t get exasperated and hurry her along. I can tell that you love to be with her, and it makes me happy to see good moms in the world.
I’d tell you this, but you’d probably think I was some sort of nutcase…so just know that jarbaby says, GOOD JOB.
What a nice OP, jarbabyj. I don’t have a direct contribution right now, but I just wanted to say that if someone came up to me and my daughter and complimented me, I’d be most grateful. I’m sure even the best parents don’t always feel like they’re doing the best job and it’s nice to hear that someone’s noticed.
Well sure, but probably not while I’m drying off my crotch…
I think the locker room is a weird, no-talking zone for me for some reason. I’m so concerned about the fact that there’s a lot of naked around that when someone wants to chat about the weather, I feel odd.
But I do say hi to the little girl, because she runs around and waves to everyone. They’re such a cute little family.
I don’t know why we quit talking, really. Just drifted apart and never really came back together. I never got to tell you how glad I was that you were my friend, and how you were one of the few people that enabled me to get through college at all. I miss you, and I wish you all the best.
To a friend who I won’t name:
I’m sorry we’re not as close as we used to be. I miss it. Miss the random conversations on nothing at all. I think I know why, but at this point there’s nothing I can really say to undo it. I never said or did anything that was meant to hurt you. If I did something inadvertantly, I apologize. I wish you the best life has to offer.
I have two more, but they’re too personal to share. Wrote them out in private, though, so that’s what matters, I suppose.
This nearly made me cry, Falcon. I’d like to send the same message out to my friend Kristen. I miss her terribly…and I don’t know why our friendship didn’t last. I regret it all the time, but then I feel like it’s too far gone to try and find her. She was the best girlfriend I ever had…like a sister…haven’t had any like that since.
Here goes: Patty I’m really sorry I didn’t pick up on your clues that night. If it helps, I banged my head into a MUNI sign when I finally figured out your signals. PatrickPlease get help, I miss our friendship. Boda As soon as I find your ass, I’m kicking it.
jarbabyj You ROCK, gorgeous!!! I hope you have a cat. You deserve a cat.
also :
{{{{cher3}}}}}}
{{{{{Falcon}}}}}
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Thank you for sharing my universe.
Dad I love you to death and your really cool but I really don’t need you telling me about what went wrong in your relationships with Mom and Cora and what problems you have with Susan. I love them all just as much as I love you and I don’t like getting caught in the middle.
Grandma and Grandpa I love you both as well but I am now 18 not 5. When I’m online I know what time it is I don’t need to be reminded it is later then nescessary. I am also not gonna make bad decisions. If I want to go out and party you don’t have to worry, if I’m out late I am very careful and am most likely not gonna get hurt.
Jill I miss you tons. I haven’t seen you since Grade 2 when we were best friends and I moved away but I remember you fondly. I hope that you are doing good and getting along in your life. Maybe we’ll meet again. I certainly hope so.
**To my cats, Amos and Eddie, who have to live with my parents because my husband is allergic **
I love you so much. You are the sweetest cats ever, even though I say that you’re fat and sometimes I don’t want you to sit RIGHT ON MY NECK…it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Amos, 25 pounds looks good on you…Eddie…I remember when I could fit you INSIDE a party hat. I miss you.
Joan Rivers, please go away. Far, far away. I don’t care where you go, just be gone. Kindly take your daughter with you. Thanks much.
Sorry that this does not match the serious tone of the discourse thus far, but it was my instant reaction to the thread title. And it felt very good. Okay, as you were…
To Maria: I’m sorry, I really am. I regret my actions, or lack thereof, everyday. I know now what a jackass I was then. That’s not satisfactory reparation for the emotional pain I caused, but nothing will ever be. I honestly hope you are happy now, wherever you are.
To Steven: You’re not really a dork. You’re one of the coolest people I’ve ever had the opportunity to know. I’m sorry my own insecurities led me to belittle you to make myself feel better. Miss your friendship.
The County Sheriff just let my house so I’m gonna get this out.
ahem
To the Little Snot-Nosed Juvenile Deliquent Future Criminal of America Who Just Tried to Burn Down My House: You better hope the sheriff catches you before I do, because if I ever get my hands on you, I don’t care when it is, I will string you up by you toes and use you for a pinata! We live in a mobile home park, you little airhead. No matter how much we paid for it, one of these things catching on fire endangers the ones on either side and so on and so on, so your house would likely have gone poof too! Little brats. If it wasn’t for my neighbor walking out of his house on his way to visit friends, I would have been SOL. Oh, and in case you didn’t know, you’re little attempt at arson was * right under my son’s window*! He was in his room at the time playing video games. Thanks to you I’ll probably not be sleeping tonight because he’s now scared half to death! Junior f*ckchop.
My Eagle Eyed Neighbor: Ya, I profusely thanked you when I went outside to investigate the smoke my son said he smelled and found you putting out the fire, but I’m not sure you’ll ever fully know how grateful I am. You may well have saved Josh’s life as I was in the other end of the house at the time and a fire to the house would have eaten his room up pretty fast. May the Dieties bless you.
To the members of a church I attended while a teenager
Dear dipshits.
It's taken me years, but I've finally gotten my life straightened out. No thanks ya'll, naturally. I didn't like being told that losing weight was the only cure to all my problems, and it gave me a complex it took me years to get over. Fortunately, I'm smarter than all of ya'll put together and didn't suffer too much damage. I notice ya'll moved the church to the rich suburbs when it became evident the neighborhood we were in was "in transition", to borrow a realtor term. Nice to run out of Jackson, following the rich members. Nice to know ya'll really never gave a damn about doing God's work, and just sat around playing Country Club.
To Dr. Jim Futral
[sub]Former Head of above church, current Head of MS SBC[/sub]
Dear Moron: You can rot. You did nothing for the church, and after 12 years got what you wanted, namely moving Broadmoor out of Jackson. If I had any evidence, I’d call you a racist. But you quit them, after you’d gotten them committed to moving and now head the state convention. When are you going to merge them with another state or something?
To the parents of some of my clients at work:
Some of you people make me sick. You only see your son or daughter once or twice a year, because they’re mentally retarded and they embarrass you. Some of them never see you at all, because you don’t want to have to deal with them. These people love you so much and are so proud of you because you are their parents. However, you have swept them under the rugs. I wouldn’t be surprised if your friends didn’t even know about your kids. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
To the parents of some of my other clients:
You guys are awesome! I cannot begin to imagine what it’s like to have a child with special needs. I work with them every day, but I know that some of you went through a lot as your kids were growing up. You are fabulous advocates for people with disabilities, and you are fighting ignorance every day. I know it’s hard on you because your child lives in a group home, and they come to our workshop every day. I don’t know most of you extremely well, but I can see that you want to do right by your kids. You’re entrusting them to me and my co-workers, and that must be scary. I promise to do my damn best to help them have the lives they deserve. I am trying to fight ignorance and change the public’s misconceptions every day. I may not always succeed, but I swear it will not be for lack of trying.
[sub]The above may help explain how I can simultaneously love and hate my job.[/sub]
To my father: I love you.
(Don’t worry, he knows. I know. There’s just no way in hell we’re ever gonna say it. He grew up in a large post-WWII family, and I’m just stubborn that way.)
JR: Thank you for mentoring me and teaching me my (first) trade. But not everything is a crisis that demands a sledgehammer response. Watch 12 O’Clock High again and notice that the General loses it in the end.
Beth: Yes, I’ve been over you for a long time. But there are moments when I wonder what things look like in the alternate universe where you said ‘yes’ and didn’t take it back.
Grampa: You were the best, and I don’t think I really appreciated you in your time. Now I know how much of an influence you were on me, and how much you did for me.
The Girl Behind the Counter at University of xxxx: You’re a bitch and deserve to die. I’m sure right now you are in a dead end job because you don’t know the meaning of “help” the customer.
God: Thanks for those two girls. Never thought I’d get to do that.
The 5-Year Old Girl Who Cried and I Cheered Up Ten Years Ago: Did I help? I hope so. You were a cutie.
To The Neighbor Who Lives Two Doors Down: Thank you. Two weeks ago when my husband and I woke up and discovered our children had gotten out of the house, we were more terrified than we’d ever been in our lives. When I opened the front door and saw them outside, in front of the house of the neighbor that lives between us, and saw that my 18-month-old son was sitting in the street, my feet sprouted wings and I flew out the door.
But you were faster. You got to my son first, and snatched him out of the road, just as I was getting there. I know I thanked you profusely when you handed him back to me, and I know I thanked you profusely again, when you knocked on my door a few minutes later, just to make sure everything was okay.
Sure, I got to my children just a split second after you did. But even though you saw me coming, you didn’t stop moving. And even though my son was just a few inches from the curb, and sitting down, you still didn’t stop moving. And the way you were moving, I’m sure our thoughts were quite similar. Mine were something like “ohmygoddessmychildrenareoutsidemysonisinthestreetohmygoddess…” and things like that. But judging from your actions, I’m sure that if I replaced “my children” and “my son” with “those kids” and “that little boy,” we were indeed on the same page.
Thank you, again and again and again. I hope you went to sleep that night thinking that you had done something good. Because you did. You really, really did.
