Dear State of New Jersey Motor Vehicle Bureau:

The BBQ Pit
1

Dear State of New Jersey Motor Vehicle Bureau:

August 10
Hi! While I understand that the agency must strictly adhere to issuing license plates in order of car registrations, “FEK” really does mean FUCK in most English-speaking countries outside of New Jersey, U.S. of A. I was hoping I could resolve this via livechat or even email with a Bureau employee, but paper, ink, and stamp are okay.

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Upright Citizen Who Doesn’t Want a FUCK License Plate

August 15
I thank you for your acknowledgement that you received payment for my personalized license plate. I’m glad you are able to issue my number two choice, I was kinda worried I’d have to settle for my douche-y third choice.

And, while I’m happy you’ve taken the time to send me a snail mail letter, a lot of effort would have been saved if your website kept a database of non-available plates and a means to place an online order for available plates. Having said this, I recognize that the InterWeb has only been around for 20 or so years and may just be a fad

And it was kinda cool to go get a cashier’s check at the 7-11. Haven’t done that since 1988.

Still, nice to hear from ya. I look forward to receiving my plates in 90 days.

September 15
Wow! You’re really on top of this! Thanks for the letter letting me know that my personalized plate order is at your vendor for stamping (by the way, does this mean “at the prison?” I wonder. Do murderers make plates, or are there too many stabby tools to allow them work in the plate factory?).

October 1
Thanks for the letter embossed with the Secretary of the Bureau’s official seal. I’m not sure why I need a letter informing that I’ll be changing my plates when the new plates come . . . but I’m still happy to carry the letter, as instructed, in my car. I’ll just swap plates when the new ones come, but I appreciate how much you care about me.

October 9
Many thanks for the update. I look forward to receiving my plates from your “vendor” within 60 days. Sure wish you had a website I could just check for status updates, but I’m cool with paper letters.

October 10
Today’s letter should probably read that my plates will be here in 59 days, since yesterday’s said 60. Still, we’re cool. Would that the city of Trenton showed such alacrity and kindness with our quarterly property tax bills.

BFF, Jenn

2

I wonder if FEKU is available.

3

I could sell you my decommissioned plate and you could go to town with the Sharpie :wink:

4

This is about “FEK”? Really? Really? I’m afraid I can’t get too excited about the bureaucracy being bureaucratic over this trivial matter.

5

My front plate has been stolen – twice! I had to put lock nuts on the rear plate. I’ve been approached by folks who want to buy my plate; I guess a few of them just took it when they couldn’t buy it :slight_smile:

6

My sister used to coordinate all the potluck luncheons at her work. They called them “Pig Outs.”

So, my sister got her first ever personalized license plates saying “I Pigout.”

First the back plate was stolen, so she moved the front one to the back (at the time, it was legal to have only a back plate). Then, that was stolen.

She gave up and went back to non-personalized plates.

I said she should have “stolen” it herself, so she’d at least have it.

7

North Carolina’s standard plates consist of three letters, a dash, and four numbers. It took the state years to realize that people might get the giggles (or worse) over “WTF-” plates. They were supposedly recalled (it made the news locally because a teacher raised a huge stink after her students started kidding her about the plate on her new car), but I see one in the wild every now and then.

8

I think folks can get a vanity Virginia U. or V. Tech plate that has a big “V” on the left. Apparently people were getting (V)agina and (V)ag plates for quite a while before the State noticed!

9

In further support of my wish not to be a FEK car:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fek

There are also porn sites with fek in the title :eek:

10

I’m sorry, but FEK does not mean FUCK in the United States. New Jersey is in the United States. Perhaps you would have better luck making this argument if you took your car and your New Jersey license plates to a country where FEK does mean FUCK. Otherwise, tough feking shit.

And while I can’t speak for “most English-speaking countries”, Canada doesn’t have that usage either.

11

Have you ever been to New Jersey? We don’t speak fekin’ English here!

Do check out http://www.thejournal.ie/readme/feck-meaning-origin-stan-carey-622374-Oct2012/

I was aware of the Irish and UK usage (plus parts of India), but was surprised to find it has become an Internet “thing” (Check out UrbanDictionary.com)

Anyway, it obviously means something – I live in a college town and my plates have been stolen twice.

12

In the OP, you said that FEK means FUCK “in most English-speaking countries outside of New Jersey, U.S. of A.” Now you’re saying that FEK means FUCK in New Jersey?

Obviously by students from the U.K., Ireland, or parts of India.

And I’ve got to admit to some confusion here. Your OP seemed as if you simply had a grievance with FEK as part of the license plates New Jersey gave you. Now you’re saying that your grievance is because your existing FEK license plates have been stolen twice?

13

Yeah, seems like a buried lead. “My FEKking license plates keep getting stolen!” Might have been s better title.

14

I’m not sure why you care so much about this, but here ya go:

  1. The plates were issued last March, at which time I protested I didn’t want them but had to take them in order to have the car legal. I know the alternate meanings of FEK, clerk doesn’t care.
  2. Plate 1 = stolen in May
  3. Plate 2 = stolen in July
    3.5) March - Current month: Several requests from strangers to buy my plate
  4. Dear DMV: my plate has a double meaning and is getting stolen; may I have a new plate?
  5. Dear Citizen: if you want a new plate, you must buy a personalized plate b/c we don’t think FEK is a bad word.
  6. Several more exchanges.
  7. Applied for personalized plate in August.

Alternatively, you could also fail to see that my humorous anecdote is about the essentially Kafkaesque nature of bureaucracy.

Refer to Franz Kafka’s: “The Metamorfekness”; The Castle Fek; and The Trial (for Fek’s Sake!)

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The upshot:
-My plates keep getting stolen because they have a word on them that some folks view as meaning “fuck”
-Getting replacement plates here is a bitch of a nightmare, I’ve done it twice
-At this moment I have my back plate basically locked to the trunk; I’m driving w/o a front plate, which is illegal in NJ

Therefore:
-I’m excited to get my new personalized plate and highly amused by the constant contact from NJ DMV, which is not known for being a particularly informative bureau.

:slight_smile: g’nite

16

Wait, you’re confused as to why I care about this? You care enough about this to Pit it. What did you expect?

1)No answers.
2)Answers that agreed with you.
3)Answers that said they don’t care.

Would you mind pointing out the humor in your anecdote? I’ll be honest: the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Bureau pointing out to you that FEK is not a bad word in the United States is, in fact, accurate. And is not, in fact, humorous.

17

The state DMV here in Florida ostensibly has a list of banned 3 letter words for the standard plates.

Except for the three letter code “LSD,” which I have been seeing regularly on cars (yes, with standard plates) for close to 2 decades now. Why that is considered legit, while something like “PCP” is not, remains a total mystery to me.

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Jennshark - Just wanted to let you know that I found your anecdote amusing; I appreciated the silliness of the MVB’s devotion to the obsolete art of bureaucratic letter-writing, especially on the topic of a rude license plate; as an American, I very vaguely knew in the back of my mind about the meaning of “fek” (probably from British movies or novels); and you made me laugh out loud.

I support this pitting.

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I also found your pitting amusing.

That is much better than AZ did when I ordered custom plates for my bike. I stood in line to register my bike and told the polite clerk what I wanted the plate to say. I was able to look them up online and knew that TNR was available. The clerk told me how much I needed to pay, I gave her the money, got my receipt and walked out secure in the knowledge that my plate would arrive soon.

About a month later, I got pulled over because my paper plate were expired and was able to show Officer Friendly that I had paid the registration but was just waiting for it to arrive. He told me to call DMV and get it fixed lest he pulled me over every time he saw me.

I called DMV, spent over an hour waiting on hold to just get someone who told me with an outraged voice that my plate hadn’t been sent because I didn’t pay enough money and that I still owed $12.00.

I sent them the extra 12 bucks and got another temporary plate with a notice that if I didn’t pay my registration on time, I would get fined and that my vehicle would be towed.

A couple of months later, my custom plate arrived, but I didn’t get the sticker. So off I went to stand in line at DMV and learned that I had missed the registration date on my registered bike and needed to prove that I hadn’t been driving it unregistered before I could get the sticker.

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Pip, pip! I’ve been known to peruse a bit of the ol’ Brit telly. And more than a few Casts of Pods from the mist-shrouded isles. And I’ll allow as how I’ve been a bit on the foggy side as to the vernacular of the peasantry, what?

But I’ll be the first to queue up and admit that I’ve ne’er e’er been privvy to the utilisation of the sobriquet FEK.

Bugger all, ya bloody goat fekker, ye! Naah, jes’ doesn’t float my frigate…