Thank you for running in front of my bus today and screaming at it. Thank you for calling that same bus a “fuck dragon” and throwing a large plastic garbage can at it. Thank you for then gesticulating madly and refusing to move from the center of the bus lane until the cops came, whereupon you displayed the speed and agility of a puma as you ran off down Sixth Street. I have never had a better reason for being late to work in my entire life.
Next time, whisper to the Nice Crazy Man that the bus is a trap, placed there by his enemies who wish to destroy him. Then, tell him to escape whilst he still can.
