My grandfather died yesterday.
Unfortunately, I’m not very close to that side of the family – communication with my father and his parents has been sporadic, and I hadn’t talked to my stepmother in several years before she called to give me the news. For a variety of reasons – many emotional, a few pragmatic (I can’t really spare the $450 or so it’ll cost to get there, not to mention a room) – I’m not interested in attending the funeral.
I feel kind of bad about that, but honestly, that’s my response.
What sort of stuff can I do as an estranged member of the family? I’m about to call my grandmother and my father. I’ll tell them that I love them, and support them however I can. But what’s appropriate behavior from a family member who can’t attend the funeral? A card seems minimal, flowers appropriate, but what else?
Any advice would be appreciated. I’m okay – I feel sad, of course, but I’m not collapsing in grief. I’d just like to handle my family as well as possible.