So the cranky old bastard across the street died. What do we do? Flowers? Card? Our oven is fucked, so a casserole is out of the question. What is the neighborly protical in this situation?
Whatever you do, it’s for the remaining family, not the cranky old bastard.
Did you know his family? If not, I don’t think you need to do anything beyond expressing your condolences if you happen to see them.
Maxine condolence card.
Is it live, or is it … oh, wait, you said Maxine.
You can always get a deli tray for the family, or check the obituary to see if he had a favorite charity. A lot of people like plants; to me they’re just a reminder of the death so I wasn’t fond of them for myself.
Why do you have to do anything? Were you friendly with the family?
Depends on your relationship to the family. Did he live alone? Then you probably don’t even know them. Are they your neighbors too? Then you have this escalating scale, depending on how well you know them. These are in order of how well you know them/want to help, not in the order you would do them. The meal would normally come before the funeral. A card would be sent immediately. Flowers are usually sent to the funeral home but could be sent to the residence.
Card
Flowers
Attend the funeral
Visit the home
Ready-to-eat or -heat meal. (The appropriateness of this probably varies according to local custom–small towns are probably more intimate than big suburbs.)
Not a General Question. Moved to our opinion forum, IMHO.
samclem, Moderator
We waved occasionally, and his wife and daughter occasionally chatted when we got the mail together. I think we’ll opt for card and condolences. Thanks, everybody.
Flaming bag of poo on the doorstep. It’s the only way to be sure he’s not just dicking with you.
When the nosy old busybody across the street from me died I wondered what I could do that would be appropriate. I drank a beer.
Wait until the body has been removed before scavenging through his stuff.
Uncuff him from the radiator, take the ball gag out of his mouth, and try to make it look like an accident.
Well, you’re finally free to go play on his lawn.
But put a card with it in case he isn’t.
When my grandmother’s neighbor died she sent the woman’s daughter a Christmas card with the Christmas greeting scratched out and “Sorry your mother died” written over it. True story: inside she enclosed a letter and a list of items the neighbor (an 80 year old legally blind stroke victim) had stolen from her house over the past 4 decades or so.
I mention because I wouldn’t recommend that.
I’d send a card and if I saw the family, I’d say something polite. Its not for the meat, its for the survivors.
Try not to dance out in the front yard. Other than that restraint, you don’t owe nobody nothin’.
I’d go with just a regular condolence card to his address. Either that, or find some black crepe paper and roll his trees with it, if he has any.
I’m just kidding, of course. Go with the card. That’s nice enough.
Q
I’ve been on these boards for a long, long time and I’m fairly sure this is my favorite post ever.