Death (Not Morbid, IMO Anyway)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Please tell me what you think of the following. Agreeing/Disagreeing isn’t what I’m after, although I realize it’s going to be inevitable. In short you won’t piss me off, okay?:wink:

I guess ever since I became an adult, I’ve been worried/scared of dying. It wasn’t normal, this fear - I knew that, but whenever I wasn’t interacting with family of friends I was thinking about it, how it might happen, who might mourn me, would they be sorry or glad, etc., etc. It became noticeable, and either people asked what was wrong with me, or those who already did not like me, used my morose personality as proof that there’s something really wrong with the “German Boy”.

Okay, I was a really strange kid/young adult, so? At least I wasn’t as bad as Burt Cort in the film “Harold and Maude”. If you haven’t already seen it, find it somewhere and watch it. Yeah, Harold was investigating different methods of killing himself, but death is death - thanatotically speaking.

Okay, to the point: Now that I’m 67, I’ve become more accepting of the inevitability of it and after our son’s passing I really came to “attention”.

I have begun to read, watch documentaries pro and con about reincarnation, NDE’s (near death experiences), different beliefs - is there a heaven and/or is there a hell?
In short, I want to believe (very badly) that there’s more to life and death than just popping out of the womb and then just becoming food for the worms.

If you’re my age, have you begun your investigation into life after death? Something you once cast aside with an appropriate comment?

Are you doing it as I am (keeping in mind I’m dealing with some dementia), as some kind of desperate hope? I hope not, because even though I admit it, having you know that is a bit disconcerting.

Or are you of the “Well, sure. It’d be nice to find something like that, but…” persuasion?

How about the “You’re CRAZEE Quasi!!!” Coalition? Me being crazy is a given, btw.

Well?:slight_smile:

Thanks

Q

2

I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I’m 53, but I’ve faced death (cancer, I’m ok now) and have been somewhat fascinated by it and how people respond to it. So much so that for one of my college classes last fall, I took a sociology class called Death and Dying. There are a lot of people interested in all aspects of death and thanatology. You’re not a weirdo, you have an interest in something very uncomfortable for a lot of people to confront. You may be better off with your attitude than those who can’t face it.

During my cancer scare, I was quite preoccupied with my own death and what came after. I freaked out my family. My prognosis for surviving my cancer was/is pretty good, but I had to have a 13-hour surgery, and who knew what might happen?? I made sure to tell my family my wishes, down to putting my soulmate cat’s ashes in with mine in the urn. I constantly wondered what it would be like to die.

After surviving that surgery, my thinking made a complete turnaround. I was out for 13 hours, but for me, it was about three seconds. I climbed on the table then I woke up someplace else. That’s how fast it was. My poor family was haggard. I figured death must be like when I was out for surgery, minus the waking up part. I was still worried about a recurrence of cancer and all the misery it entails, but death didn’t bother me anymore. I’m more concerned with the suffering leading up to death rather than death itself.

I don’t know if that comes close to answering your question(s), Quasi. but that’s my take on things.

3

I saw my mother go to a nursing home, and after one look, I took her home and cared for her until she died. I have noone to do that for me. I recently read an Economist article about aging in America, and it terrified me. Assembly line feeding and medication, maximum longevity, among strangers, without a concern for quality of life. I resolved to make choices while I was still physically and mentally able, at 78.

I went to a dating websitre, found a Filapina woman, and married her last week. She is an amazing housekeeper, caregiver and lover. She has made a credible commitment to hold my hand to the last breath. We live comfortably in the Philippines, on less than half my pension, without touching savings. I can now age without fear, in control of my own affairs and fortune. If something comes up that requires heroic treatment, I’m ready to call it terminal and let go, content that I’ve lived a wonderful and fulfilled life and free of regrets.

4

I’ve always been of the “It’d be nice, but doesn’t seem likely” persuasion. Never saw any credible evidence of supernatural phenomena; never saw any arguments that didn’t seem rooted in nothing more solid than hope. Not exactly an atheist, more of an agnostic.

Then this year, when my mother passed away, her death was accompanied by a rather peculiar occurrence. Maybe it was just an exceedingly unusual coincidence, but it has me wondering.

Anyway, I expect death - no matter the cause - to feel like a relief from the acute circumstances that lead to it. If there’s a consciousness afterward, great. If not, well, I love a good nap.

Either way, I’m good.

5

At 63, I think about death, mostly in terms of things I really should do in case I die before my husband, to make things easier on him (regarding finances and such.) I pretty much put religion behind me 30-ish years ago, and the idea of Heaven and Hell seems improbable. I like to think that existence on this planet is just one phase of “life” and that there’s something next. After all, every stage of our lives involves, in part, preparing for the next stage. Does that all lead to nothing? To me, that defies logic.

But in the grand scheme of things, I can’t see that we can do anything about it. If our death is the end, then that’s it. And if it’s a step to another level of existence, well, we’ll see when we get there.

As for those I leave behind, I don’t want my passing to be a burden on them. I want my remains to be donated to a med school after anything useful has been harvested. I don’t want my daughter to have to fuss over a grave or an urn. I don’t care if they have a funeral or not. And I don’t want my husband to have to figure out all the passwords to our various accounts - I should probably take care of that right away. On one level, I fear the unknown. On the other hand, there’s not a lot I can do about it, is there?

6

I’m comforted by the knowledge that if there is any sort of life after death, every one of us will find out. And if there’s not, we won’t be around to care.

7

We are born astride the grave, the light gleams for an instant and then it’s night once more. * Dum vivimus vivamus.*

8

One really big problem is that there are very few meaningful possibilities of “investigating” the matter.

You can do a survey of religions, and, while many of them predict life-after-death, they disagree to an insane degree on what to expect.

You can try to find children who exhibit knowledge they couldn’t have acquired, looking for reincarnation. This well has been poisoned by a number of frauds and hoaxes, and, when those are eliminated, has produced no evidence.

You can make a deal with someone, as Houdini did with his wife, to send a message back, whichever of you passes away first. This, too, has been fouled by some frauds, and, too, has led nowhere.

All you’ve got is… Catholics say X, Baptists say Y, Buddhists say Z… And when you examine where they got that knowledge, you find it’s almost always some individual who has claimed a personal revelation (Moses, Buddha, etc.) At that point, you’re just flat stuck.

9

I figure my being dead will be a lot like how it was for me before I was conceived. Didn’t mind it before, won’t mind it after.

10

Are you religious, Quasi? My parents are and they fervently believe in heaven. They don’t fear death because they will be reunited with loved ones, and for those still living, they will wait to be reunited with them. It brings them comfort.

As for me, I am not religious. I’m not an atheist, more of an agnostic. So will there be an afterlife or will I be eaten by worms? IDK but I don’t fear death because it will happen to everyone.

11

I’ve never been obsessively worried about death. When I was younger I alternated between not thinking of it much at all and yearning for it when my everyday life was making me miserable.

Mostly I feel like I have affected the world into which I was born and hence I am in it and will be in it after I die as an individual. I have admittedly odd ideas about consciousness and self. My individual self is just part of who I am, who my full identity is.

I am however inclined to go for an impressively long life before I check out. I want to fully experience being an old person and I’m looking forward to it, and I want to reach the point that for most of the folks who meet me, I’m the oldest person they’ve ever encountered.

12

After you die, all you see are repeated messages about Moby Dick and a nexus 7.

13

I’m only a few weeks short of 72, and death is a subject I rarely think about. I’m an atheist, and don’t believe in any kind of afterlife. Life will go on for my husband, who is 20 years my junior, and that’s all that matters to me.

14

I’m 61. I am well aware that people can and do die at all ages, and that it becomes more and more likely the older I get. I’m an agnostic or an atheist, depending on the day of the week or the season of the year.

My own death? Eh, it will happen. I don’t dwell on it. I just do not think about my own death, except insofar as trying to avoid it (by being careful not to crash my car, etc.).

But I do think about other people’s deaths, mostly helplessly and futilely wishing I could do something to prevent it. Several people I care about have come down with horrible, evil cancers, and there doesn’t seem to be a damned thing I can do about it. I know it’s a waste of my time to think about it, but I can’t help it sometimes.

15

Death used to scare me - it still does when I think of people I love dying. I guess I’m afraid of the suffering I may have before I die. But after my son died at the age of 30 (cancer) I am no longer afraid to die - I know I’ll be with him again. (And no, I would never do anything to speed up my process getting there!)

16

The apostle Paul says in one of his numerous epistles that “to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” I don’t see anyone, even among the most devout Christians, who are in a hurry to realize that gain.

I’m one of them. I’ve known the Lord for 47 years. His presence is practically a tangible thing to me. But when it comes to death, I don’t feel particularly advantaged by my faith. Sure, all Christian traditions say that those who love and serve the Lord will be with him in the world to come. But while the experience I had 47 years ago that continues to reverberate deeply in my life tells me a great deal about what really matters in this life, it doesn’t seem to carry any answers about the next. Death’s dark door is as much a mystery to me as it is to most people.

17

Life is just energy, and energy never dies, it only changes form. That is as “spiritual” as I’m willing to go.

18

I am mostly content with my fate to become food for the worms. I can say that I face eternal oblivion with more anticipation than fear.

19

I was riding my bicycle one afternoon when I felt a sort of spreading wake of calm pass through me. Everything was ok and nothing that I had not done or taken care of was of no importance. I thought I was ready to get hit by a car and experience the peace of death. Obviously it did not happen, but the feeling gives me comfort.

20

I’m 68. I do not believe in life after death and have felt that way since I was about 10 or so. There’s no proof of an afterlife or of reincarnation.

I think that, when we die, it’s like a candle flame going out. The only thing we really can do is to try to make the world a better place for our having walked on it for a while. If we can say that we did that, then that is a good thing.