This should be fun.
In recent months a number of stories have come to light that have shown Canadians - the less well informed ones, anyway - that life for Canada’s aboriginal people living on reserves (still legally referred to as Indians, hence the title) to put it mildly, sucks. Reserves have shitty services, foul water, few jobs, and little hope. Many of them are conveniently located in the middle of nowhere.
Last year, Canada’s Ministry of Indian and Northern Affairs, which is charged with helping these people, spent a staggering $5.6 billion. Total department income was $336 million, which didn’t even cover operating costs, so it’s safe to say this is pretty much a cost centre. This is in line, given inflation, with what the government has historically spent over the last several decades. That’s just within this Ministry’s budget; transfer payments and related expenses covered under other ministries add at least a few billion more.
In spite of this astonishing sum of money - about $8000 for every man, woman and child, just out of the INA Ministry - the condition of our reserves and the state of Canada’s aboriginals remain deplorable. It’s a national disgrace.
At present Canada has about 700,000 status Indians. Of course, not all status Indians live on reserves; some are Indians living off reserve, and some, like my former softball teammates Ted, are thieves who have parlayed their 1/32nd Indian blood into tax benefits, but he’s the rare exception. Let’s assume the 700,000 is our working figure.
Here’s my proposal:
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Fire all the employees of Indian and Northern Affairs. If they can find work in another Ministry, hey, sure, transfer them, otherwise go find honest work.
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Take the entire budget, $5.6 billion, and simply give it to all the status Indians in Canada. That would be about $650 a month, every month. Mail them a check, or do direct deposit. If you’re a family of four, you get $2600.
This money would be completely free, no strings attached. No income test, no taxes, no deduction, no limits. You’re a status Indian, you get $650 a month, every month. Got a kid? $1300. Seven kids, a husband, and your Mom lives with you? $6500 a month. Tax free. If you’re working full time, you still keep all the money. Don’t even declare it on your T4. No residency-on-the-reserve requirement, either. Want to move to Mississauga or Gatineau or Calgary to find work? Just send us a change of address card so we can mail you your cheques. Or a cancelled cheque for direct deposit. Or come on by the office and we’ll hand you 13 crisp $50 bills. Whatever works.
How could this system possibly work worse than the one we have now? Our current system assumes that the best way to spend the money is for white people in Ottawa, in association with a small number of aboriginal co-conspirators, to decide how the money will be spent in various “programs,” money which unsurprisingly is frequently wasted or funneled into crony businesses. It’s not working. Unemployment is ridiculously high. Indian kids snort gasoline in reserves located a thousand miles from anywhere because they have nothing to do and no hope for anything better. The money continues to pour in with no discernable effect while other Canadians act proud for making silly, meaningless symbolic gestures like having Indian dancers at government ceremonies and plastering inukshuks all over everything.
Whaddya think? How would you change this program to make it better? Would other countries with similar issues, like Australia, benefit from such a plan?