Omg, these new Coke dispensers that dispense what seems like 100’s of flavors, have you seen them? Pick diet soda, and coke and 7 flavored diet cokes appear as choices, same with Sprite, reg. coke and every other coke product. You can get them with lemon, orange, cherry and a ton of other flavors.
For gods sake, parents, will you show your kids how to correctly and quickly use them and not make a cherry sprite, grape coke, vanilla orange pineapple root beer when there’s a line of 10 people behind them? Please?
The Fellow had total joint replacement 5 years ago - left knee, age 42 at the time of surgery. His ortho did everything he could, short of surgery, before the replacement, due to the potential issues with the lifespan of the appliance. But the final deciding factors were: lack of mobility, leading to weight gain, inability to continue the work that he enjoys, and a new baby - the Fellow’s first, and he wanted to enjoy her childhood, not to be an invalid. Doc performed the surgery in the summer of 2010. Without it, the likelihood of Tony reaching 65 was pretty grim. Within 1.5 years, he lost about 110 pounds. Unfortunately, the wreck, and subsequent immobility and many rounds of steroids have negated those accomplishments, but dammit, he and Lily learned to walk together, and they had fun. No regrets. (And I think the only bit of Tony that didn’t break in the wreck was his new knee!)
Speaking of his wreck: Tony was sorting paperwork a couple of nights ago, and came across a letter I never saw before - a recall notice on his car. Dated six months after the crash. Front ball joints were defective. That goes to the attorney on Monday. (I think the notice was sent with all of the office memos and crappie that had been forwarded from Tony’s inter-office box at work.)
Bragging a little. Had an excellent getaway with the Girl, her best friend, and my brother’s girlfriend. And we had enough restraint to avoid fire bombing both Krispy Kreme locations, even though they were out.of.doughnuts! when we wanted dessert last night!
And Grandmother is still hanging on. I really don’t want her to suffer, even though she’s a miserable human being, but at least the funeral won’t interfere with New Years Eve football now.
Idiot Brother and wife’s presents for Mom and me included matching breakfast cups. Decorated with rabbits.
Their kids started a sentence with “when you come to live with Granny…” (say what? I’m moving in with my mother? Is there a tinfoil Napoleon hat on my head and I’ve missed it somehow?). When I informed them I have my own house and no plans to live with Granny, nor Granny to live with me, they were completely confused. Their parents have been counting on my babysitting help once I move in with Granny, you see. Oh, btw: the hopefully-long-term job I’m starting in a few weeks is several hundred km away (or 5 hours by train). Are the kids going to come down there so I can babysit, or am I supposed to buy a helicopter?
Their Christmas card (they’re the only people I know who still send those physically) went to the flat from which my aunt has evicted me by the method of moving her not-paying-a-dime-ass in.*
Dear God: yes, I know I asked you for a brother. But did you have to make the first one you sent be asshole enough to belong in Mom’s side of the family?
She’s registered herself as the resident; for this, she needed Grandma to sign a piece of paper. Grandma thinks that paper was “for Medicare [-equivalent]”. She’s not paying rent. She informed us that she is being very generous by not registering herself as the owner of the flat. The money her daughter is now putting towards Grandma’s old folks’ home is officially a loan, which my mother signed as advised by my other brother (who has only now realized he was assuming “good faith” and that’s something neither my aunt nor my cousin have). And Grandma’s flat “can’t be sold because she doesn’t want to sell it”. Oh, OK: it can’t be sold but you can squat in it and you’re threatening with registering it in your name. Gotcha.
Dear Nava: every time I read one of your posts about your family, I give thanks that I have very very few relatives living and those I do have are hundreds of miles away from me and are not insane. Wow. You totally got the family full of assholes. You have my sympathy.
I’m real confused about how someone can live in a place they don’t own and don’t pay rent on. Who’s the owner/landlord? Wouldn’t there be a title or lease showing who owns it or legally rents it?
My own rant: My daughter’s birthday was today, and I bought her a very nice birthday gift. Since everyone was here for Christmas dinner, I hid the present out of the way so it wouldn’t be found. Guess what? You know: I couldn’t find it today when we were about to leave for her birthday celebration. Nowhere. I also can’t find the bag of homemade cookies and candy that said daughter made for my granddaughter. WTF? Neither item is something that is small enough to have disappeared in the Christmas wrapping paper. Only an idiot would have thrown them away. Oh, wait. My husband was “tidying up” last night. Of course he denies having seen anything remotely resembling the present. We are starting to suspect the cat of hiding things from us. Again.
A few weeks ago, after US Thanksgiving, my mom took Littlest Miss home with her for a few days of Grandma and Papa spoiling. During their visit, Ma made her usual evening pilgrimages to the nursing home - for 5.5 years, someone has taken two meals per day, because Grandmother is too spoiled to eat from the community kitchen. And my very sweet little daughter would climb up in the bed each visit, and have a very pleasant conversation with her great grandmother. And my grandmother fell madly in love. Which convinced me that Grandmother had experienced a recent stroke. Turns out that I was correct, according to imaging done at my urging.
It’s rather tell-tale when the family suspects a major health crisis solely because Granny likes a sweet little kid, no?
Look, I appreciate the tequila, I really do. But you didn’t have to get Patron. Cuervo would have done just fine. And you know damn well what I really want at New Year’s.
Gonna be an “interesting” day. I’ve already managed such a major brain burp that I tried to start the next MMP this morning. Yeah, got my days of the week scrambled.
Ah, but that is merely a working hypothesis. For all we know, the L and D knees are not mere variants of a same species, but two different species whose specular relationship makes them incompatible!
And if so, was there ever a common ancestor? Perhaps the titanium vertebra, or the collagen implant? We must never take anything for granted only because it may seem the easiest option, sir!
The owner is Grandma. She’s 102, living in an old folks’ home, and while she can read she’s always hated to. She’s also extremely deaf except for that property so many ancient ones have of hearing exactly the one sentence you didn’t want them to hear.
So on a whim I decide to order a pizza takeout at 4:45pm on New Years Eve. The girl behind the counter explains its going to be 15-20 minutes because they are closing at 6pm and they are backed on deliveries.
Then as I’m sitting waiting for my pie, I hear the owner yelling the front girl he’s backed on deliveries, the phone rings, “NO MORA DELIVERIES!!!”
This is why some small business owners are fucking idiots:
If it’s so busy, why not stay open LATER and make money?
It’s New Years Eve so OF COURSE your customers are going to want food. Don’t get hot on ME or your cashier.
This is not the first year your open. I’m sure it was like this last year. So hire more help you cheap bastard.
And people wonder why the failure rate is so high in the restaurant business.
Sadly, I don’t think that the recall notice will help much seeing as how it came after the accident. The department can honestly say that they didn’t know that there was a problem. I’ll hope for the best, though.
I’m glad that you had such an excellent getaway, but how the heck could a doughnut store that sells donuts cooked on-site run out of doughnuts?
How cute You are supposed to give up your job and life to move in with Grandma just so you can have matching breakfast cups every morning and then go babysit their precious offspring. You are a spinster, so of course you have no life of your own and will consider it to be an honor to be allowed to babysit on demand.
Could someone please stop the rain? We fled Houston on Sunday but a lot of people weren’t able to do that. Its bad. Its really bad. I’ve stopped looking at satellite images of our street because it makes me cry. The cats are living in cages and the dogs are confused.
So we were storing bottles of soda out on the porch, they were being kept cool, and it freed up room inside for other stuff.
Then the polar vortex came calling last night.
The wife and I were sitting in the dining room when…
BANG
I had a IED on the deck.
Ginger Ale chunks made it to the second van in line in the driveway. Impressive
You are supposed to give up your job and life to move in with Grandma just so you can have matching breakfast cups every morning and then go babysit their precious offspring. You are a spinster, so of course you have no life of your own and will consider it to be an honor to be allowed to babysit on demand.