By Lawrence Feisal and Sherif Ali Ibn El Kharish, Associated Press Writers
KABUL, Afghanistan and WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) - In what the Bush administration is calling “unsubstantiated assertions,” Arabic linguistic specialists claim to have found several hidden messages in the videotapes of Osama bin Laden and other Muslim extremist leaders.
According to Professor Auda abu Tayi of Georgetown University, bin Laden may be sending coded messages to possible terrorists in the United States.
“It is not so well hidden,” Abu Tayi said. “Such jibberish-sounding talk is actually a highly developed language called ‘Arabic.’”
Abu Tayi says that the videotapes contain such inflammatory statements as, ‘Auda will not come to Aqaba,’ and ‘I love eggs, from my head down to my legs.’
“One can easily understand the inherent danger of such statements,” Abu Tayi said. “For example, myself: I love cheese down to my knees, but I hate eggs. One cannot assert that everyone loves eggs.”
Asked to comment further, Abu Tayi said that he did not want to jeopardize national security. “We are clearly dealing with the mentally deranged,” he said.
BTW, do any Onion writers lurk here? Just wondering.
Apparently, it was more important to write that than to write my two assignments for Chaucer and Shakespeare that are due tomorrow and HOLY SHIT it is 1:38 in the morning!
