Oh hell yeah.
You are my hero.
I’m shocked no one posted this yet …
“I do.”
“You’re fucked.”
… or maybe I’m jaded.
I haven’t gone to the bathroom with the lights out.
Why? Because the lights being out makes it difficult to see if the frigging seat is down or not!
Exactly what I was thinking. Your whole post is right on the money.
I’ve always assumed that the individual hairs were referred to that way. Oh well live and learn.
I have.
Keep aiming until you hear the water splashing. Keep aiming until you hear the water splashing.
No, it’s symptomatic of the tendency to treat other people as their gender, rather than as individuals, and to impute things they do to their gender. I don’t think that’s helpful.
While I recognize (as I said) that this thread is in fun, I think it’s important to recognize that belief in these things (and god knows we’ve all heard them stated seriously) causes very worrisome problems in interacting with the other gender.
I don’t think it’s particularly mean-spirited (bitter, yes – lots of people in both threads have said as much). I just find the concept of “man-speak” and “women-speak” disturbing and unhelpful, and I think it’s important to take the opportunity to problematize these kinds of beliefs.
WOOHOO!!! Game On, Guys!
I have never gone to the bathroom with the lights out. Even during a power outage, I light a candle. The idea of the toilet is that I avoid getting my various waste products on non-toilet areas in my house; I am willing, nay, eager to help the toilet in this quest.
I’ve never, ever, understood the whole leaving-the-toilet-seat-up complaint. (Reason 8,421 that it’s a good thing I’m on the other team).
Seriously: you’re pulling down your pants and sitting your bare ass down on something without looking to see what you’re sitting on, and somehow that makes me the jerk? I’m not an overly-conscientious person, but I like to think that I’m completely aware of what I’m putting my naked self against at all times.
If I tell you this got a big ol’ guffaw outta me, will I appear less dainty and demure? 
It’s kind of interesting that this one is a third again as long. And that it’s called whining.
Would it really be so hard to reach down and see if the seat is up? That’s what I would do, should the situation arise. You’re just going to wash your hands afterwards anyway, I hope. (Putting aside for the moment that the toilet seat is probably cleaner than the sponge or something)
Lighten up, miscommunication is practically the life-blood of couples therapy. I think we’re poking fun at miscommunication more than we are women.
And there’s nothing wrong with poking fun. Og knows, life would be much more enjoyable if people could learn to just sit back and laugh at their problems once in a while. (Not that I’m saying women are a problem; miscommunication is a problem. Phew, caught that one just in time.)
I assume we’re not counting Dopefest after-parties?
Ummmmm… SolGrundy, I’m not sure what happened there, but what you’re saying I said, I did not say.
I was quoting it to make fun of it, much like you are, but I am not a woman, nor do I urinate sitting down.
I was actually quoting Elysian, then using what I understood to be the format of the game to put my interpretation of her woman-speak in italics afterward.
Please direct your scorn at Elysian.
Thank you.
Whoops, you’re absolutely correct. I totally missed the bit in italics.
I did wonder why you’d be complaining about leaving the toilet seat up, because that’s something only women do. Bitter, hateful, duplicitous women, which of course they all are.
Wait… did I do something at the Phoenix Hotel I was too drunk to remember? More importantly: was I good?
Some of us are too busy laughing our asses off. (I want to marry FinnAgain and Shodan, which like, almost never happens).
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
You’re a great person who treats me right and have done nothing wrong, so I feel guilty that whenever you touch me I want to vomit. Frankly at this point I don’t care if you think it’s you, just go sit over there and leave me the hell alone.
There’s this thing called a ‘night-light’. They sell for about $2 at S-Mart.
It’s a different game with your parents, of course. But in a relationship with a lover, if there’s a choice between bitching about a problem, or paying $2 to make the problem go away, that’s a no-brainer.
Yes! Posted a full three hours after my quoted post, but still, at least you brought this special brand of mulishness over to both threads. 
Well, Sol, you don’t have to be “on the other team” to think this whole toilet seat bruhaha is completely absurd. I’m a heterosexual woman, and I agree with you completely.
I can see why this thread wouldn’t be funny to everyone.
But surely we can agree–this wasn’t written in the spirit of “51% of the human population pulls these conversational shenanigans.” Of course not all women talk this way. But enough of them do to make it ring true to a number of readers. Myself included.
I’ve been guilty of a few of these myself. One of these days my husband may have an aneurism over me (once again) saying “Oh, I don’t care where we eat!” but then shooting down the next five restaurant suggestions he makes.
That doesn’t mean I’m being tarred with all of these examples. I hope.