I worked with a woman who’d do this all the time! 
I feel like I can get undressed in front you.
You’re just like one of us girls!
Wow, he’s cute.
I’m not into girls.
…yeah, we’ve been dating for about a week or so.
Get it?
Thought I’d split the difference between all the rampant misogyny ( :rolleyes: ) and the good-natured jabs at the fairer sex with a quick translation I wish I would have had some years ago.
cough
1st post
And people said I was imagining things when I thought there was a whole lot more ire at threads that poke fun at women than threads that poke fun at men.
I’m going to have to bookmark both of these.
You know, it’s a damned joke thread. We should make our little funnies and just move on. But that proved impossible, and as it coincided with some other things I’ve been thinking about the SDMB, I’ve decided to make a Pit thread out of those thoughts (mostly because I don’t think it fit anywhere else - but, in tone, it doesn’t really fit the Pit either. But that’s where we’re told to put such things, so there goes.)
Hey, welcome, Secret_Seth.
I generally assume that straight males don’t consider these stereotypes to be completely accurate. I base this on the fact that if that was what I thought all women were like, I’d spend less time posting about it on message boards, and more time killing myself. Just my two cents.
~ Isaac
Hmm…distubing and unhelpful. Sounds like your typical MPSIMS thread.
I have no idea where you boys are getting your information from. And no, I’m not being defensive, rude, sexist, or any of the above. Maybe a little curious. Where are you getting this from? If I say something, I mean it. Unless said with a sarcastc tone or in the heat of an arguement. No need for second guessing or translation. I don’t speak for all women of course, but I know that my friends are pretty straight forward. Makes it easier for us
It’s the classic schtick used in comedy for generations. Miscommunications and misunderstandings are staples in sitcoms and commercials. One example:
‘Honey? Does this make me look fat?’
‘You betcha!’
Message: Men are clueless and say incredibly stupid things. They’re insensitive, and can’t be bothered to listen to their SOs because they’re too busy watching TV, reading the paper, playing with toys, etc. Women bear grudges, but they can be bought off by taking them to dinner, buying them things, etc.
It’s a joke.
[sub]But the OP is from experience. 
[/sub]
Y chromosomes have little radio transmitters which allow all men everywhere to remain in constant contact. This is very convenient when we organize to oppress people.
My best (non-joking) answer is that some women one might meet/date/interact with do things like this. Some do not. Some are simply stereotypes which aren’t all that accurate but are fun to play with in a postmodern “I’m making a joke about a stereotype with full knowledge.” sorta way.
(Betcha wish I didn’t go all serious on ya, dontcha?)
Of course communication is very important for relationships, and being honest and not playing games are good, etc… and of course there are some women (like my girlfriend), who’re just naturally cool. Not that they’re “one of the guys” (she’s got a great figure), but that you can just relax and chill without expecting to have secret little ‘tests’ throw into questions, or any game playing, or passive aggressive bullshit, etc…
And then again, there are some women who’re (ironic contraction for this circumstance, yes?) caricatures of one, or many, silly little stereotypes.
I just noticed this 'un.
Honey, would you like to go shopping with me?
*I know you’d rather give yourself a vasectomy via weed whacker… but I’d like you to schlep around a mall all day carrying my bags while I try on yet another pair of shoes that you really don’t give a damn about anyways because shoes are shoes. And after that, right before your brain liquifies and runs out your nose from the near-lethal levels of tedium, I’d like you to tell me which of these colorful things is better than the other colorful thing, and then I won’t take your advice anyways. *
You know, when Pricegal first broke up with me and various events conspired to keep us living together for a while, I thought it would be hell. Turns out there are definite advantages to living with a woman who isn’t your girlfriend. Like yesterday, when she’d bought a new pair of jeans and asked me what I thought of them.
“They look really nice on you”, I said. They did, too.
“Don’t you think these pockets look nerdy?”, she said.
“No.”
“You’re not even looking!”
“I looked once, and amazingly enough I saw even the pockets on that look. Besides, why do you insist on asking me these questions? You know that I always think anything you buy looks nice on you because you know better than I what looks nice on you, I can’t imagine a pair of pockets I’d categorize as “nerdy”, and you don’t care about what I say anyway.”
Honesty. You can’t beat it.
I didn’t really see what you meant until this thread. I am a woman and I thought this thread was quite funny and not at all offensive. I didn’t realize how weird that made me.
I have both threads bookmarked because I was showing them to my roommates.
I would rather a man tell me that my ass looks like a tub of lard than me go out and look like shit. Afterall, I have to look respectful as his girlfriend. I wonder how my boyfriend would feel if one of his friends came up and said “Hey, your girlfriends ass looked huge the other night”.
I dont hold grudges. What a pathetic waste of time. But feel free to buy me dinner anytime you like
SOME men are clueless and say incredibly stupid things. But there are an equal amount of women that men feel the same way about. We are all equal after all 
Okay, you’re going to have to explain this one to me in words of one syllable.
I’ve been laughing at these theads all day! I sent them both to my husband, and we laughed together, teasing each other. Some are true, some are not, but they’re all pretty funny.
I’d invite** Finn ** to come over to my house and lie to me any day. His list was my favourite so far!
Me too. Guys don’t say “Hey, your girlfriend’s ass looked huge the other night” to each other. We like having hot girlfriends, but the clothes make no difference here nor there. Trust me.
Yeah, he has the sense of it. He’s pretty funny, though the list was still a little painful.
Yeah, for me it was more on the nature of if any boyfriend of mine said to me, “Your jeans made your ass look fat the other night, and I found that disrespectful to me – I mean, it made me look bad in front of the other guys!”, – well, let’s just say not only would he not be my boyfriend after that, he wouldn’t have much left to be anyone’s boyfriend with.
Speaking as just one guy, my friends would either have the common sense not to say such a thing to me or would soon find themselves on very thin ice indeed. But then I tend not to gravitate toward people who would say thoughtless things like that.
(There are significant differences between “Your girlfriend’s ass looked so big last night, everyone wanted to just stand behind her and drool.” and “Your girlfriend’s ass looked so big last night. Tell her to lose some weight, dude.” The first is acceptable. The second I fortunately haven’t had to deal with because my friends aren’t idiots.)
I can laugh at both of them, actually. I just don’t find it surprising that the first one where the bitching and moaning showed up was this one, or that there was more of it here than the other thread.
There are women who behave this way, and there are men who behave the way in the other thread. And because of that, these threads are funny.