Deep Thoughts

People are yellow. Strangled, they turn red, then purple, then eventually blue (or so I’m told.) Smurfs are blue- this begs the question, what color do they turn when they’re strangled? Can the term gangrene be applied to them? Hmm…

If Vampires don’t have a reflection, how come there hair is so perfect?

I feel that when a smurf is strangled he turns “flesh colored.”

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the person’s house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Kids’ Deep Thoughts

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don’t have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?