What color does a smurf turn when you choke it?

A coworker of mine asked me this and I didn’t know it. I waited expectantly for the punchline, but she didn’t know it either. So it’s a legit questions! But too mundane and pointless for GQ, I think.

They don’t change color at all. They do swell a bit and the bruise marks from your fingers turn purple if you don’t dress them out right away. I’m not going to tell you how I know this.

BTW, they are delicious when minced and made into pie, but you can just broil them if you like.

My young (born after 1954) nosy coworker wants to know if your are from Brussels. She’s not made up, really. She says everything is random. I’m having a weird day and taking information orders from my young coworkers.

Ask Gargamel…

I always remember their faces turning red when they were straining, like Handy lifting something, etc. So I would assume they would blush a bit and maybe perspire.

Aw shoot! I was hoping to leave the impression that I had actually killed a smurf with my bare hands. The mundane truth is that I saw it on an episode of “Law and Order”. Jill Hennesy and Sam Waterston were unable to get a conviction due to lack of sympathy from the jury, only three of whom were smurfs.

I was born in 1954. I’ve never been to Brussels. I don’t even like brussels sprouts, although I’m fond of cabbage. Corned smurf and cabbage makes a tasty dish. Tell your coworker that roast nosy coworker with shallots is also a favorite of mine. With fava beans.


no, no, NO, people, you are not thinking clearly.

If people turn blue when they are strangled, obviously a blue smurf would be drained of natural color and turn WHITE when strangled.

It is only logical.


No, no, no…

Haven’t you people watched the Cartoon Network? On one of their ads, the question is asked, “Why are Smurfs blue?” The answer, by a Smurf: “We’re not! We’re green! Adjust your TV!”

So, they turn blue, just like us reg’lar folks.

After all that has gone on here in the last day, reading the title to this made me snort out loud like a hog being slopped.

I think I shall save this question for my friends when they have a mouth full of beer, and then I shall duck.

Well, Hello Shirley!

You obviously have better friends than I do. My friends, if I brought up the Smurf/strangler question, would feel the need to contact the resident psychiatrist of Dopeville, (if he/she exists, I STILL need a scorecard, sorry) You obviously have AWESOME friends. Good for you, tho maybe it would be better to shield yourself with lots of saran wrap. On the other hand, beer makes a great tenderizer for meat, do you think it is possible that it makes a good age defying moisturizer too? It would certainly be cheaper than my Mary Kay.

What can I say, I am Scottish, and therefore frugal.

But also cute and sweet.

Note to Gargamel-I am cute and sweet, but I don’t TASTE sweet, I taste sort of-well, never mind. Just know that-hey, where you are concerned, I taste like wormwood. Or liver, or something else HORRIBLE. Eggplant, maybe. No, that won’t work, it sort of tastes like whatever sauce you put on it. Okay, let us get serious, here. HEY! I’ve GOT it! I taste like HAGGIS! Yeah, that’s it, I taste like haggis. My word, Gargamel, haggis is so disgusting. I am even Scottish, and I wouldn’t eat haggis if you paid me a whole buncha million bucks. Well, maybe for a whole buncha millinon bucks I could force it down with lotsa water, but …

Isn’t the real question:

“What color does a male smurf’s testicles turn when he doesn’t benefit from the attentions of a female smurf in a really, really long time??”

:ducking and running:

No, no, no… Haven’t you people watched the Cartoon Network? On one of their ads, the question is asked, “Why are Smurfs blue?” The answer, by a Smurf: “We’re not! We’re green! Adjust your TV!” So, they turn blue, just like us reg’lar folks.[/quote}

So then, the real question is, what color do they turn when they get envious?

No, smurfs turn purple when they get bitten in the ass, not when they’re choked. When they’re choked, they turn chartreuse.

I’ll go with Procol Harum on this one, and suggest “a whiter shade of pale”
you never know, maybe thats what they were really singing about.

Well, I have yet to notice amy Smurfs around when I’m choking it, though I have to admit my attention is usually elsewhere. I’ll try and keep an eye out next time, if you want. But it’s really beyond me as to why my choking “it” would have any affect on anything’s color. Well, maybe if I got so into it that the blood supply to my brain was threatened, but then I think everything would turn black, smurfy or non-smurfy. But like I said, I’ll try and check for you.
I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone. I’ve been in a weird mood all day, as is evident from my posts, and it’s now way too late. I think I’ll go to bed.

is it just me, or is plushophilia this seasons feltching?

Coldy? any ideas?

At least plushophilia, while still strange, isn’t as nasty as the thought of felching.

As for the OP, I’d have to agree with pruple. I’ve never seen anyone turn blue when choking or holding their breath, I’ve always seen them turn red, so I’d have to go with that. And if I remember right from grade school art class, red+blue=purple.

I once developed a video game called Squash-a-Smurf. You controlled a pair of boots and the little guys scattered. I left red splotches where they had been so, based on that, my answer would be purple.

BTW - With all those boy Smurfs and only one girl, it’s no wonder they are all blue!

I see it now, " Uh, no Officer, I wasn’t speeding. No, I haven’t been drinking, either. That’s my beer moisturizer that I use to keep me looking fresh as a dais…WAIT…Hey, Those are handcuffs… It’s Heinikken. It’s good for bouncy hair too."

The office unanimously votes purple.