Dell Computer, a.k.a. "FelchCo"

The BBQ Pit
1

Dell is getting good press in IMO, and here I am in Dell Customer Support Hell.

The timeline:

DEC. 27: Order new computer from Dell. P3-1000, nice machine. Very happy about it.

DEC. 28: Arrange financing. Order is processed. Everything is fine.

MONDAY, JAN. 8, 10:30 AM: Computer arrives.

MONDAY, JAN. 8: 5:30 PM: Rick gets home to set up computer and is alarmed to hear ratting sounds when he picks the computer up. Opening the case, I find, to my chagrin, the following items rolling around loose inside my new computer:

  • The heat sink off the CPU
  • A plastic fan cover
  • A few metal brackets, purpose unknown

The graphics card appears to be damaged by the falling heat sink. Wonderful.

MONDAY, JAN. 8: 5:36 PM: Rick plugs in the computer and the fan comes on but the motherboard won’t power up.

5:37 PM: Call Tech Support.

6:30 PM: After FIFTY-THREE minutes on hold, I finally get Ray at Tech support, who confirms for me after about 10 minutes of fiddling around that the computer is very obviously fucked up.

Now the problems really get rolling. Ray informs me he will get a tech support guy to call me about onsite support. Great! I say. Maybe they can fix it tomorrow! But, oh, no. They’re going to call WEDNESDAY to arrange a time on THURSDAY.

Well, fuck that. I was promised next day on-site support and that’s what I want, I say. But apparently they define next day support as being the day after the next day, or somthing, which would explain Wednesday but not Thursday. I am, of course, furious. I inform Ray that while I appreciate his help, I frankly don’t want tech support anymore, I want a new computer, and who do I talk to? Call this other number, he says.

I call the other number, but I soon discover that no matter what 1-800 number I call, I get the same voice mail system. Oh, well. I call up my sales rep. He is horrified but says he can do absolutely nothing; it’s a tech support issue. I speak to his manager; same response.

I explain patiently that it is not a tech support issue, since that would imply I A) recieved a computer that could be supported and B) wanted a computer fixed. In fact, I did not recieve a computer, I received a box of busted parts. And I don’t want the damned thing fixed, I want another one. The manager, a complete dick, says I should return it and re-order. I tell him I want a damned exchange and if I’m forced to return it and re-order, the re-order will not be from Dell Computer.

Apparently I have to call “Customer Care.”

So I call Customer Care at 8. The message tells me they’re busy so the wait time will be 15-20 minutes. At 10 PM I’m still on hold and the message comes on and says they’re closed. Wheeeee!

I get to work early today and call Customer Care three times:

8:00 Call, put on hold
8:27 Disconnected abruptly
8:28 Call, put on hold
9:05 Ringing, then a disconnection
9:06 Bang fist on desk
9:07 Call, put on hold
9:48 Finally speak to a human

The result: They’ll take the old one back but now I’m just back in line waiting for an order to be processed for an identical computer. I inform the nice lady that I am utterly unimpressed and I expect a new computer not in the 7-10 business days they state, but by Friday, or I’ll send it right back. She’ll have the manager call me, she says.

11:54: No call.

So what do I do?

  • Wait it out and get another possibly busted-all-to-hell computer?
  • Give up and buy from someone else?
  • Try more pressure to speed it up?

What the heck is up with this? I thought Dell was a customer service leader, but they’re impossible to get a hold of and it’s hard to find anyone who has any authority to do anything. WTF??

2

Hey Rick, this is more evidence that something or someone can suck and blow at the same time.

Tell Dell they can go to hell.

Fuck! I hate unintentional rhyming.

3

No offense, but you have to be insane to even contemplate giving your money to a business that treats you like that. It may be a pain sending everything back and starting over, but at least you aren’t funding Dell’s next screwjob

4

I feel your pain.

If you feel you can muster up the patience, it’s worth it to just accept the replacement as soon as you can get it, and then, never deal with tech support again if possible. That would entail you learning if you don’t already know how to fix a pc yourself… I know, even though it’s not your fault… I did this with Gateway, and my machine is 10x better than what I recieved from them, though I did manage to get them to send me a new DVD ROM after the original was broken, and no, I never sent the other one back, I sure as hell am not paying for the delivery… They want it, they can come and get it.

Customer service these days is rock solid crap!

Your’e not alone buddy, muster up the patience IMO, and get a new one.

Is it possible to ever make a case against these companies? That’s something I wonder…

5

RickJay, don’t take this wrong way. Damn, I hate unintentional rhyming, too.

Anyway, all I can say is:
Silly Consumer! Poor you!

With all the hell you went through with Gateway, you probably thought “I’ll show 'em! I’ll take my business to Dell!” Unfortunately, Dell is just as shitty as Gateway is just as shitty as Compaq is just as shitty as Hewlett-Packard. Anytime you buy a mass-produced computer you stand a good chance of it being a piece of shit. And when you call them to get “Customer Service”, you are going to get jerked off.

You know why? Because they have too many clients to handle. These companies have become too big for their britches. They are at the point where they are thinking
“We are not the mom and pop computer shop on the corner. We are not a startup company. We don’t need your business, we value it.”
and they honestly don’t care.

All these companies are doing with they’re promises of good service is sympathetic, good-service posturing. There are just buttering your ass so they can get your money. Once you have purchased their product, you have to jump through all kinds of hoops to get results if you have a problem.

One would think that if you purchased a computer and it arrived physically damamged that the company would fall all over themselves and send you a replacement right away. But no, it’s cheaper for them to try to fix it and leave you with a jury-rigged piece of shit.

Were I you, Rickjay, I would settle for nothing less than a replacement system. It will take longer, but you will be happier in the long run, trust me. When a computer is damaged in shipping, the company can take it up with the shipper. I know, I used to work for UPS and can tell you that they pay computer manufacturers a metric shitload of money because of DIT items.

If you opened it right when you got it and the heatsink was off the CPU and the vid card was damaged, there is a good chance that the thing is royally hosed and you’ll have to get a new one anyway. If you wait too long and 30 days goes by, you’ll be stuck with it no matter what. They’ll tell you that you chose to try to repair it instead so now you have to keep it and it’ll have to come in for service.

They may even charge you for shipping.

What a crock. But they’ll do it to you, sure as hell. So you should call back and not rest until you talk to a supervisor or a supervisor’s supervisor and not quit until you get a replacement system.

I feel for you, man, I really do. I wish there was something I could do. Hopefully, you’ll take my advice, set aside about 6 hours and call back and wade through the bullshit until you get your computer replaced, with upgraded shipping for your inconvenience. Tell them that you chose Dell because Gateway treated you like shit. Tell them that so far they are even worse and you had not thought it possible.

Some advice from someone who knows how the game goes from the other side:

Get a name, a full one if they give them, or an employee number and extension if they have one. Get all the information you can about everyone you talk to.

Don’t mention “legal action” or anything, because then they can’t help you anymore and have to give you information for their legal department.

Try not to yell and curse because they will hang up on you saying that “FCC regs forbid the use of profanity or abusive language or threats on our phone lines. click”.

Try not to “demand” anything. Ask them for a replacement system due to the fact that the one you just got was damaged on arrival. Tell them the box looked fine, so you signed for it (assuming you had to sign for it), but that the foam was damaged and the computer was as well, and that it does not even come close to working. Don’t mention that you opened it. If they want to troubleshoot, fine. It will soon become apparent that it is totally fucked up. I know you already did this once, but try again with the ultimate goal of a replacement system.

If and when the tech says that you have to call a different number for a replacement system, ask to be transferred. If they can’t, ask for their supervisor.
[ul]
[li]If their supervisor is not there or not available, another one will do.[/li][li]If you ask to speak to a supervisor, they MUST let you. They can bandy words with you, but you can shut them down by saying “Thank you for all your help. I would like to speak with your supervisor.” And whatever they say, you can say “Thank you for you help. I am waiting to speak with your supervisor.” Until they have no choice and put you on hold for about 10 years and you either get disconnected or get a supervisor. Hopefully, it will be the latter and won’t take so long.[/li][li]Hi Opal.[/li][/ul]

Please be aware, Rickjay I know we have had our differences in the past, but I am really trying to help you out here. If you go into the call expecting to be on hold forever and expecting the first few techs you speak with to run you around, you will be able to remain calm until you finally get someone who is smart enough and has the authority to replace your computer.

I hope everything comes out all right.

6

Or was that Revtim? Damn, I can’t remember. In any case, I hope you get it all sorted out. Computers suck, but I love 'em. Wow. I am in an abusive relationship with computers.

7

Boy, ain’t that right.

What really pisses me off is that I work for a large and very successful company with a big market share, and if some customer called me pissed all to hell about something we’d provided them, I would not say “Gosh, that bites, but I can do nothing. I am but a minion. Call someone else.” I would respond with words to the effect of, “Gosh, that bites. I will see to it your problem is solved. I will call you back at date/time with a solution.” And then I’d solve it. I don’t think my company’s any more open or non-siloed than most, so Dell can go fuck themselves. (Not Gateway, I’ve never dealt with them and never will from the horror stories I’ve heard.)

I am getting a replacement system. My firm tone and hints of taking my business elsewhere worked. Furthermore, tomorrow afternoon I plan to call and ask if the thing’s on the truck yet. If it isn’t, royal shit will be raised. I also succeeded in convincing to waive the absurdly rich delivery charge ($110 U.S. Bear in mind I live 20 minutes from where the computer is built. I could carry it home, for God’s sake.)

I’ll give them one more chance because

A) As you point out, nobody else is going to be any better, and
B) Everyone else IS more expensive, by a surprisingly horrendous margin, and
C) When they work, their computers work well, which cannot be said of some companies’ products.

But like I said; if there’s no new computer here by Friday, it’s off.

What differences? Man, who cares? :slight_smile: Live and let live.

I have succeeded in getting a replacement system ordered. We will now see if it arrives in a suitable time frame and if it works when it arrives.

8

Wow! I’m really surprised by this. I’ve had my Dell for almost three years and IMHO their customer service rocks. I’ve never had a problem getting things fixed. I don’t know what to tell you… I just can’t believe they won’t just take it back and send another one… let me know what the fall out is because this could really change my opinion of them… frankly, it already has.

9

Get a Mac.

10

Yeah, I was confusing you with Revtim, Rickjay.

My apologies to both of you pig-raping cock-masters. ;o)

Anyway, I am pleased to hear that you are getting a replacement. And it is true that when you get a good Dell, it’s really good. Hopefully, they won’t play fiddly-fuck around the skin-pie with your system and get it out in time to retain you as a client.

I honestly think that the company I work for is going under. I really wish that I had the authority, when presented with someone in your predicament for example, to say:

Unfortunately, I can’t. I don’t see why not. Teams of highly specialized techs who handle cases such as this would make a lot of sense to me. You know? Like if you call in an you have a bad mouse you get handled by the grunt techs. But if you call and the heatsink has fallen off your CPU, shattering your AGP card and shorting our motherboard, and all this occurred in transit you would get called back by someone like me who would bend over backwards to put a grin on your face. How hard would that be to do?

I guess I don’t know. If my degree was in Bus. Admin. I probably wouldn’t be a tech guy…

11

'Kay everybody. Pencils down. We’ve already got the winner for stupidest brand-loyalty generalization of the year.

Clearly, a Macintosh computer is no less susceptible to the hazards of shipping than a Dell computer. They are effected equally by gravity. If someone does not tighten a screw on a Dell, is it not as likely to fall out as a loose screw on a Macintosh? If the rocks in friedo’s head are as loose as the graphics card in RickJay’s Dell was, would they not rattle the same?

What will come next? Will people begin to adorn their Wintel computers with an image of Calvin® urinating on an Apple logo? Perish the thought.

12

::applause from a Mac-user!::

13

[quote]
And when you call them to get “Customer Service”, you are going to get jerked off.

[quote]

I’m not calling the right number…

:slight_smile:

14

This is why I buy parts and make my own fucking computer.

RickJay, knowing Dell rather well, I would say you are the victim of a “worst case” scenario. Sucks.

Please understand though, that once Dell puts that system on the truck, the shipping company will do their best to fuck it up. This happens all the fucking time. I worked for a company in the early '90s that was put out of business because 50% of the systems shipped out never got to their intended destination, or were in nice little pieces when they did get there.

15

I feel RickJay’s pain. Unfortunately, I don’t think any large computer manufacturer is any more adept at working out these problems than any other. They spend a lot to set up delivery systems that work most of the time, and apparently feel that a few percent failure rate is acceptable and not worth any particular effort to resolve.

I got royally hosed by IBM last year when I ordered a specific Thinkpad model. I was in urgent need of the machine and specified overnight delivery after confirming from the telephone sales rep that the machine was available and would be shipped that day. At the end of the week, the computer had not appeared, and I began burning up the phones trying to find out what ha happened. Over the the course of 3 weeks, I was given several contradictory excuses as to why the computer could not be delivered, although in the end, it appeared that that the entire production run of that model had been pulled from the shelves due to a manufacturing defect.

I ended up cancelling the order, wrote a letter of protest to IBM and posted my experience to several forums where it would be noticed, but eventually bought a similar model through Egghead. I was a bit annoyed that IBM still got most of my money, but for various reasons I preferred a Thinkpad, so, what can ya do?

16

hey Mister Cynical!! Quick! Turn around!!

*stage whisper to everyone else

Buy Compaq
:wink:

17

No good for me; I need a gaming machine and Compaq machines are notoriously sucky for that purpose.

UPDATE

The new computer will allegedly arrive next Tuesday, which means it wasn’t rushed at all. But they did give me $240 off the price ($170 in US dollars.) I’ll accept that…

… if the replacement is in PERFECT order.

18

This thread is both comforting and depressing as hell. I thought I was just a damned fool for permitting Gateway to make my life an expensive misery.

I’ll spare you the saga; it would run pages. Let’s just their top of the line laptop, in the 3 years it was under warranty, blew through: 3 backlit video displays, 3 CD-ROM drives, and now (out from warranty, of course) the floppy drive is cacked. Between phone time to “technical support” (not even technically supportive), shipping times, mis-shipped items, items that were shipped and unusable, etc. etc. the %$#@!* was unusable easily half of the time.

(Two weeks later I’m still waiting for the replacement floppy drive. Of course the last part they shipped went to the wrong address–and left outside the door. If anyone sees a nifty box w/ a floppy drive in it, it’s probably mine.)

Anyway, it’s discouraging that Dell, Compaq, Best Buy, etc. all seem equally chancy. Could be great; could suck. Next time I’m having one built at a local place that’s been around for a long time. They’re 1.) here 2.) I can trash their local reputation big time if they screw me over and 3.) they’re here–I can be right in their main store/office making their life a living, hideous, unending hell if the product doesn’t perform as promised.

Veb

19

I recall once selling a SCSI hard drive to a customer of mine in Montana. A few days later, I was actually up there to visit some of their customers with them, you know, playing the big cheese from corporate.

Well, I was practically accosted with that hard drive when I strolled through the door.

She says to me, my customer, “Why did you sell me a bad hard drive? My customer is pissed at me, and this makes me look like a goddamn fool!”

First thing I did was tell her to look at the drive. I asked her to inspect it closely for something that said that I personally assembled the drive.

When she realized that I didn’t make and break it, I then asked her why on earth she thought I would intentionally sell a bad drive to her, a frequent customer. (Note here. When I say that she was a frequent customer, you might think that you’re one. Chances are, you’re not. That is, unless you buy somewhere around 50-100 computers a month from me.) I ask her if she thinks I’m a moron, just that bluntly.

When she said no, I said, “Good, then let’s get this replaced with a new one,” and the problem was solved.

Carry on. I have no idea why I had to throw that anecdote out, but since I typed it, you shall have the privelage to read it.

20

Second quick thing:

TVeblen, if you’re going to have a laptop built at your local PC shop, may I ask who on earth they are? I know very few companies that actually make their own laptops. Most arrange an OEM agreement with someone who makes laptops, for lack of a better way to put it.

I’d check a little deeper.