Demons can be quite handy for running your pocket watch (on a little exercise bicycle inside) or inhabiting your iconograph (sitting with a little pallette and easel right behind the apeture).
Assuming that you live in a world that’s carried on the back of four elephants and a giant turtle, of course.
Why would you want to do it? To make a quick million.
A common thread in demon summoning is that the ‘price’ (the way things go horribly wrong) is usually related to the nature and magnitude of the service you receive. You ask for someone to be healed, someone else gets sick. You ask for world domination, you’re warped into a hideous creature, rule the world for a day and are then sucked away to eternal torment.
So ask for something real small, maybe have the demon make its eyes glow red. You could probably get off with as little as a stubbed toe. Make sure Mr. Randi’s there when it happens, and collect your million. People have done crazier things for a quick mil.
Hi! My name’s Maxwell. Let me introduce you to my air-conditioner. All it cost me was a stubbed toe.
(With apologies to Larry Niven. Not to mention James Clerk Maxwekk.)
I think we’re all overlooking the obvious reason that I touched on earlier. Sex with a demon has GOT to be fantastic, and it wouldn’t really be cheating because you’d be ‘possessed’.
At least, that’s what I told Mr. Jarbaby.
at the risk of flaming…
Don’t be so **** stupid, you think this is all a ****** joke, you nest of vipers? I note with grave dismay the way every post smirks at me, everyone assumes the joke has already been made. These are the signs of a decadent and hellbent society, which has lost touch with what it means to be Good. You are NOT qualified to discuss these creatures. When did a ‘site full of smart people’ become a site full of complacent jokes? What’s funny about evil? About the holocaust? About horror and pain? Are we so bored we must befriend any symbol of evil we find?
Rock music and fantasy novels are only dangerous because they make overfed idiots think they have a handle on complex spiritual realities. I don’t mean anyone specific… just the whole generation…
Don’t bother banning me. If you think this stuff is funny I don’t want to stay. I quit.
…
anyway, like I was saying…I bet they’d be great in the sack
:: insert demon smiley here, with tongue wagging and doing two finger devil sign ::
…<chirp>…
…<chirp>…<chirp>…
…<quietly closing the door>…
Not overlooking, disagreeing. As a single guy my perspective is rather different. Men having sex with demons carries a pretty exorbitant price (see Dr. Faust), watching your soul fly from your body or some such. At any rate the ritual’s too much hastle. If you want good sex with a fiend that’ll leave you an empty shell just slick back your hair and go clubbing.
That doesn’t solve the cheating problem. But if your goal is to have fantastic sex without cheating I don’t think being in league with Beezelbub is the most ‘cost-effective’ choice.
Ah, thank goodness for preview.
Ross - Demons are certainly well outside my realm of experience, fantastically so. I have not encountered any in my lifetime, only in stories. As such I’m not qualified to discuss them as actual beings, but I am qualified to discuss them as fictitious creatures I’ve read a bit about. If you have experienced that the same demons I was blithely joking about are the cause of horror, pain, and or the holocaust, well you’ve lived a very different life than I have. If you want to discuss them as actual creatures, I’ll read with interest but won’t feel qualified to discuss much.
Consider the possibility that this thread isn’t a sign of a hellbent society embracing symbols of evil, but instead a sign that yesterday’s symbol of evil isn’t as evocative to the people of today. My tone in a Hitler thread would be quite different. It would seem our idea of good is quite different (hence your use of a capital letter).
Am I the only one who has noticed this? You can find lots of stuff about summoning demons, but nothing about putting them back. Oh, great sex and a million dollars, sure, but having the “Uninstall” command ready to go would save on cleaning the blood and sulfur off the walls.
Well, sure it’s only doing a small thing, but wouldn’t the consequences be kinda huge, hence serious bad karma?
But seriously (or something), if you ask it to do something, and it doesn’t quite do it, then it can’t do anything to you right? (at least according to Sluggy)
So does it count if you ask it to give you eternal life and at the same time get God to come down and say Hi (insert your own impossibility)? If it refuses to do anything, you haven’t lost anything, and if it does one and not the other you’re fine.
Unless of course God decides that he doesn’t people being too clever for their own good (see Ventre of Quirm’s wager), and actually does come down and say Hi. In which case you might just be in trouble.
:eek:
[Tom Hanks]
Okay everybody, it looks like we need to go through our exercises again. Now, let me start.
Its “okay” to want to ask Mr. Belvedere for an autograph.
But its NOT “okay” to want to keep Mr. Belvedere in a big mayonnaise jar in my basement.
[/Tom Hanks]
Seawitch, you’re having a trouble finding resources on getting rid of demons?
http://members.tripod.com/~bugs17/exorcist.html was one of the more promising results from a google search for ‘do-it-yourself exorcism’, which turned up plenty of sites.
Hope this helps.
Shortie, good point. I’m not sure how far down the chain of causality you’re charged on. If you’re karmically charged for services rendered you’re in good shape. If there’s some sort of royalty based part though you’re in tough shape.
I’d leave God out of your trickery though. People dealing with demons are pretty severely dealt when they a) encounter God’s chosen or b) try to invoke God. Up until these points you can assume they were pretty well left alone, though.
Ikujinashi, thanks for the exorcism site, but I feel sure that if I did any sort of demon banishing I would vanish on the spot. Besides, I have a general rule - never invoke anything bigger than your head.
I take grave exception to the comment by one idiot that things such as the holocaust were caused by demons, what an absolute and totally certified tosser!!!
FYI until we recognise the destructive potential that can lie within seemingly bland, boring human beings we will forever continue the cycle of horror.
Evil is not caused by some other supernatural force beyond our control, evil is banal, mundane, tedious and ordinary.
The guy down the street shopping for groceries can be evil you do not need a demon to rationalise it.
What a total plonker you are ** Quicksilver**
Keyser Soze…Keyser Soze!
…The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist…
According to Mr. Tom Robbins, that would mean no longer DID exist…
Heembo, gratuitous user of …
Aaaargh!! many apologies Quicksilver it looks like I’m the plonker.
Still does not absolve Ross though.
I don’t exactly summon him, but the Mailer-Daemon has visited me many a time.
Is this a reference to “Mazes and Monsters”? I looked at TH’s credits on http://www.imdb.com and this is my best guess…
They were playing by some wierd rules in that tract. Black Leaf didn’t even get a saving throw vs. poison! I can’t remember the last time I saw someone ordered to leave the table after character death either. We usually say “roll up another character and try not to get it killed this time”.
Munch, classic stuff. djbdjb, it’s from an SNL Skit.
Ross, are you saying that we should be “wary” of demons because they cause all the evil? So, Humans are absolved of all responsiblity, because the “devil made them do it”?