Demon summoning: is it ever a good idea?

[sup][Note to mods: I wasn’t sure where a thread asking people’s opinions on religious (or quasi-religious) esoterica went, so here seemed the best place. Please relocate as appropriate.][/sup]

In this thread, In Which Quisling Discovers an Interesting Item, we learn that this amulet has the apparent purpose of being used in a summoning ritual of some sort (or else is intended to look like something that might be used in a summoning ritual of some sort, which is essentially the same thing at this point).

Researching the question, we discover various related websites which show people how to summon demons and other supernatural beings, thoughtfully strewn with caveats along the lines of Do Not Try This At Home (which begs the question of why they’re putting the ritual on a website if they don’t want people to do it, but never mind).

My question (at long last) is this: why would anyone actually want to summon a demon? What do you do with it once you’ve got it? And how do you prevent things from going horribly wrong (and “wrong” in the case could potentially be pretty horrible)?

I mean, I’m not planning on trying this out; I’m not that desperate or dumb. I’m just trying to figure out why ANYONE would meddle with this sort of thing…

…and then there’s Corvus’s current sig:
“Well, I certainly wasn’t planning to have orgiastic relations with the cloven-hooved embodiment of evil and fear, but when he’s standing there in the fireplace shouting YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME, what are you going to do?”
– James Lileks

You can get the demon to do things for you. This can be through a contract where you offer them something in return for what you want done, or you can intimidate them into it if you are powerful enough, or you may take advantage of some code they have to follow. If you are careful enough you can avoid negative consequences.

Well maybe its the weekend and you need twenty dollars and a case of imported beer, yet can’t be bothered to scrape your lazy ass to far from the tv.
World domination might be nice but it is probably a 24/7 job.

Oh, come on… demons are some of the nicest, funnest blokes around. I met this one demon named Croatoan who could do the funniest trick with his farts… strangely, though, he’s not around anymore. It’s a pity. He owed me five bucks, too.

Geez, there’s an entire class of stories based on Deals-with-the-Devil (or demon). It’s taken as a GIVEN that the demon/devil will try to get the better of you. There have been entire anthologies devoted to this. It’s fun! I’ve even written one (“Device Invected”, printed at the U of Rochester longer ago than I care to think, and a very limited run privately). Larry Niven wrote a very clever one (“Convergent Series”), and Fredric Brown wrote several, including the one I think the all-time best. It’s not a fantasy.

Yes, yes, I’m well aware of the deal-with-the Devil literary device in everything from Faust to Sandman. However, I am also aware that:

  1. Life rarely behaves like a literary plot.
  2. The best-laid plans gang aft agley, so to speak.
  3. Hi Opal!
  4. In real life, there are unforeseen consequences and aftereffects which in stories you can ignore.

So seriously, what’s worth the risk of an unpleasant death and potentially nastier consequences afterwards?

Good question. If you’ve got the Internet to access the ritual, you can shop on-line. Therefore, what do you need him for? You can get it on-line at a discount.

Hi Opal.

Simple enough. You summon 5 of them and start a rock band.

do not do this!
Knowing that I will be considered nutty, I do believe there are demons, in fact, they have(in the past) audibly made themselves known in my former apartment.
There are many books which will tell you how to do it, spells, etc.

You and {b]Star Light Star Bright** should get together!

Your demon could meet his ghost! A match made in Hades!

Remember to invite us to their wedding! :stuck_out_tongue:

Funny Bosda.
I do not Have one, it was in my old apartment, and was summarily cast out.
Don’t ask.

When I saw this thread title, I thought you were referring to the game “Summoner”. I was gonna say, “Yes, get the Celestial Samuri”

I think Cecil should “summon a demon”, and report back to us. That way we know if
A-It works
B-What a Demon would do for us.

[nitpick] Hades isn’t necessarily, HELL Bosda, it’s just a place where all dead people hang out until judgement. this would be a match made in Tartarus :smiley: [/nitpick]
And I agree with Slortar

If I’ve learned one thing from my unnatural lust for evil, it’s that movie demons are OFTEN very sexy. If you can get a little incubus tendency in there…you’re golden.


I’ve read some of these summoning texts. “What a demon can do for you” tends to be a fairly standard adolescent wish-fulfilment fantasy. They can turn you invisible, destroy your enemies, get you girlfriends, help you with your homework… no, I’m not kidding, “he teacheth knowledge of all arts and sciences instantly” turns up in quite a few demon descriptions.

I’ve never tried any of them, but I would be really surprised if they worked. Actually, scratch “really surpised”, insert “totally, mind-bogglingly, brain-meltingly astonished”. I think I’ll stick to Dungeons and Dragons. Did you know you get real spells at eighth level? (It must be true! Jack Chick says so!)

Yeah, but they always try to short-change you. :smiley:

Strictly speaking, I don’t believe in demons. That said, I suspect that attempting to bargain with extradimensional entities of pure evil would get your soul all sticky. I can’t imagine anything that would be worth that–sticky fingers are bad enough. Stick to your own magick.

(I wonder if we could get a tongue-in-cheek smiley in here–or would it just be taken for another BJ smiley?)

According to good ol’ King James, people summon demons for three reasons: money, revenge, conveying greetings to Opal, and knowledge.

There are probably easier and safer ways to get money or revenge, but knowledge might be nice under certain circumstances. For instance, if you have enemies plotting your death, the demon could reveal their plans and you’d be able to avoid them. You’d still be running the risk of a nasty death, etc., but at least you’d be out of immediate danger.

I wonder if I could summon a demon to make me a hell of a sandwich?

Never call a daemon that you can’t put down. It’s good advice in UNIX too.

“I do not Have one, it was in my old apartment, and was summarily cast out. Don’t ask.”

—Oh come ON, Vanilla. You casually drop a little tidbit like, “Oh, I had demons in my house, but they were cast out. Say, that’s a cute dress you have on, there—would you like some more tea biscuits?” and expect us not to ASK?!

C’mon, give. Tell us about your demons! Was it anything like that Karen Black TV movie where it chased her around with a knife going “yanniyanniyanni”?

Better than Yanni chasing you around the house going “demondemondemon”… :stuck_out_tongue: