Driving home… Minding my own business. la-la-la -la-la, just driving along. doo-dee-doo-dee-doo. hmm Could use pee break, but no big deal , I’m an adult, I can easily wait several hours I have experience with this hehe. Take the last corner that symbolically symbolizes home… **** release all psycho-physical locks, no need for the body to maintain itself abandon stations ****. WAIT, FALLEN TREE, 2 MINUTES TO PUSH OUT OF THE WAY #piss pants now!! piss pants now!!#
Man that is so annoying. Holding my pee is no big deal, I have spent my life doing it. But why the hell does my brain just give up on control when I am so near home? And then when something unexpected delays that last 1/4 mile I suddenly have no ability to sit there comfortably, even though if I was in a different state I would be fine for an hour or two until I found a place.
It’s like your “pee regions” of the brain can’t distinguish between being near the toilet and being on the toilet.
My mother has the unfortunate problem of having the urgent need to pee when it’s cold out. Add to that the “we’re ‘home’, time to go now!” effect and she described many childhood walks home from school that were more like speed-walking that became a full-on sprint near the house.
My colon knows when I get to the parking lot at work. I used to think it was just a case of the coffee and wheaties kicking in at that time, but even when I’ve skipped breakfast and haven’t been drinking the night before, the need hits me right as I pull into the parking space. What sucks is that I usually like to take ten minutes to just chill in the car before going in, but it’s often not an option.
I have to distract myself as I drive past rest stops on the highway. Even if I just peed at the McDonalds 20 minutes ago, just seeing the sign makes me need to go.
Back in the days of phone booths when they were actually booths with folding doors which closed, they all smelled like pee. The smell of pee triggers my “gotta pee” instinct, which meant whenever I got into a phone booth, I’d end up hopping up and down and doing the funky chicken while I made my call. Unfortunately, the machinery in my brain then drew the connection between telephones and having to pee, which means to this day, long after the actual phone booths have disappeared from city streets, as soon as I pick up a phone I have to start jiggling my legs and tunelessly humming to distract myself from the false signals screaming from my bladder.
No matter where I’ve been, or how long I’ve been out, or what I’ve done while I was out:
Insert key in door, walk up steps to apartment, put keys and purse down, pee. This has been my rhythm for years, and was actually quite difficult to pull off when I had infants to put down before I could get to the bathroom…
I crap at 530 am every morning … I get up at 5, do the glucometer/BP shuffle, do my meds and make coffee.
Ghu help me if someone gets between me and the bathroom at 530. I have forbidden mrAru to go near the bathroom because at 530 the crap will be exiting my ass.
My one luxury would be to add a half bath off some corner of the bedroom … just all for MYSELF. It isnt like some guys will apparently move into the bathroom for about 3 hours when they crap, it is just when I need to go, I need to go …