Depressed...just looking for some cheer

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Dammit, I’m just so tired. I really am.

As mentioned inthis thread , my father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease yesterday. This man, who worked in major aerospace engineering design, mingled with astronauts (Russian and American), worked pit at the Indy 500 as a hobby…he’s been reduced, already, to a feeble shadow of who he was. And it’s only going to get worse.

In the last two years, Dad has been treated for numerous cancerous skin lesions, had a major tooth abcess, has had his kidneys working at 8% due to damage from pain meds…and ah yes, the pain. Dad’s back is essentially disintegrating. This all relates to a major back injury he had 10 years ago while on a business trip. He broke his hip and back–but the workman’s comp. doc missed both. As a result, Dad had 2 major back surgeries and is constantly in chronic pain. He can’t move, or rest, without pain. And now Parkinson’s. Fuck.

My sister. Ugh. Suffice it to say her life is messed up, and it’s a pathetic sight to watch her pretend it’s great. My parents are heartbroken watching her.

My mom. She’s burning out, stretched beyond reason, caring for my dad and working full time. It doesn’t help that she’s my dad’s lightning rod for his frustrations. He bitches her out over stupid stuff, and she rarely fights back. (She never really has, though.)

Me. I’m feeling overworked. Teaching is stressful enough, but the obscene number of hours I spend in fruitless meetings is enough to make me pull my hair out (this week, I’ve spent 5 hours in meetings–and it’s only Wednesday!). I direct the 5th grade chorus, with zero support from anyone–it’s all pulled out of my ass. I’m Grade Level Rep, which means extra meetings, and makes me the target of other teachers’ frustration in my grade level.

As a result of all this, I’m having a very difficult time teaching. My patience is razor thin, and I found myself so unfairly easily annoyed with my students today. I had to pause and regather myself.

I don’t mean this to sound like just one big whine session, but I guess it does. Maybe that’s all this is, me being whiney, not tough enough, something. I don’t know.

I do consider this board to be the home of friends. I just need…I dunno…a good laugh, or some Stuart Smalley “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me” shit.

Hell, I can’t figure out to close this thing. I’ve typed, deleted, retyped, deleted, ad nauseum…so this will have to do.

2

Teacher joke of the day:

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her sixth-grade students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, “George, why has your school work been so poor lately?”

“I’m in love,” the boy replied.

Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?”

“With you,” he said.

“But George,” she said gently, “don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” the boy said reassuringly, “I’ll use protection.”

(n.b. usual disclaimers - this joke not meant to offend / insult any members of the teaching staff or any sixth-grad student. Any names / situations are fictional and the teacher in the joke is not meant to represent Ruffian except for the pretty part.)

3

Ruffian got any sick days left for the year? Take a couple. Do you guys get a spring break? Ask to step down from grade rep.

Just take care of the big things and let the little things fall into place.

Take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

:stuck_out_tongue:

4

When you feel uptight and the stress gets so bad that you think you’re going to snap, there’s a simple exercise that will help.

Close your eyes, relax, and repeat this mantra:

“Serenity now. Serenity now.”

Keep repeating it until you feel calm.

This will work.

Unfortunately, there’s a side effect, but I’ll leave the punchline to somebody else.

5

Ruffian My thoughts and prayers are with you. Don’t lose hope. Take some time for yourself, relax, do something you really enjoy. Hang in there.

6

Well damn, girlfriend. Believe it or not (well, the time and date stamp will make you a believer), I just sent you an email inviting you to the theater tomorrow night (so if you haven’t seen it, go check) and now I read this. Feh. What a sucky week you’re having. Perhaps if you’re free, getting out for a while might help? Even if you’re not available, let me know if there’s anything I can do, ok? In the meantime, here’s a big hug…

{{{Laura}}}

7

Sit down right now and think up 10 perfectly good, airtight excuses why you’ll have to leave any meeting half way through. (They’ll get to the high points if it matters.)

Invent a personal crisis, don’t give out too much info, just a lot of innuendo.

Use this stolen time (a full 50%) from meetings to only do things that will really help you feel better.

No good doing anything for anyone else. The time you save this way is only for you. Go to a bookstore, a park, take a nap.

But most important of all:

Four times every day, take a moment to close your eyes, focus on your breath and take in 10 deep, slow breathes.

I am the primary caregiver to someone I love who is fully bedridden. I could really relate to your post.

These things have worked for me, I hope they’ll work for you. I hope you feel better soon.

8

Nothing to say, except…

{{Ruffian}}

Take care, sweetie.

9

Arnold, thank you for the risque chuckle. :slight_smile: I like a little naughty humor!

aha, I took a sick day last Friday. I was sort of sick, but more than anything I was just burnt. And that’s before the news about Dad! Mercifully, spring break is just 7 working days away.

Scylla, I’m trying to figure out the punchline. I know the Nespy trick, but “Serenity Now” elludes me. :slight_smile:

Shayna, thank you so much for the invite sweetie! Unfortunately a late-ish night for me tomorrow isn’t really feasible. I’d love to see The Magic Flute, but the late notice and the midweek thing didn’t quite work. The good news is DeathLlama, myself, and one of my best friends (and her s/o) are going to see Into the Woods–one of my all-time favorite musicals–on Sunday. So I do have some Me time coming! Let’s do coffee, or lunch, or bagels sometime girl! I’ll email you later.

elbows, I find ways to get out of meetings. Today’s 2 hour beast was unavoidable–it was a district-wide thing. Kids went home at noon, we got an hour for lunch, and then were contractually stuck until 3pm. And then, we had a 5-10min grade level rep meeting that went 35min. I walked out. And I also firmly stated there was no way in hell I was meeting again next Tuesday. (We usually meet every other–we’ve met two in a row, plus today–and they wanted next Tuesday!) They’re still meeting, but I’m not going to be there. Dammit. (Of course, this is because I’m having a meeting with the other people in my grade level…and it’s the only day we all can meet.) I like your breathing tip.

Zyada…thank you for the cyberhug. :slight_smile:

I figure spring break will be pivotal. DL and I are going to do some work on the house, and I’m going to spend some time around racehorses (friend owns/trains…his new babies are in). It’s relaxing for me to observe, study, write notes, etc. and just rub their forelocks. It will be a good thing.

Saturday will be hard, but it’s a very necessary thing. Thanks to all of you, again.

10

Okay, I just got this email from a friend in response to an email I sent out informing those close to me about Dad:

I know she means well, but this is so incredibly mind-blowingly insensitive and ignorant. ARGH.

And of course, it doesn’t help. She always has been a bit kooky…well then. Now I know for sure. :rolleyes: