Or, the “I feel good now, but when’s the other shoe going to drop?” feeling. If the feeling of impending doom isn’t with the depressed person currently, then it must be just around the corner.
There is no way out, some people feel, except one.
The important thing to realise is that perception is generally very heavily effected.
People can understand the idea that seeing purple spiders on your arm can be a mental illness thats not directly connected to whats going on in normal life, but they tend to struggle with ideas like major clinical depression because they tend to think its just ‘feeling really sad’ and dont get the magnitudes involved or the effect on basic thinking patterns.
If they could easily ask for help they wouldnt be experiencing the illness in the first place - its a bit like telling someone not to see the spider as a ‘choice’, it just doesnt work that easily. Often the person knows something is wrong but cant be persuaded to believe that their worldview is being so heavily effected by it and is the real problem rather than whatever issues they’re currently thinking about, it just makes absolutely perfect sense to them that they should die, regardless of the circumstances.
And a month later on medication they can be absolutely amazed at how they were seeing things right then. Its just a pity that medication/counselling doesnt always work or they’re not always diagnosed in time.
Otara
No, I’m thinking you don’t understand. Depression colours the world black. The person would think ‘why bother to get help - it won’t work anyway’. Or, worse, the person has tried to get help but hasn’t yet found the right med or whatever and says ‘well, nothing will ever help me’.
People make the mistake of thinking that depressed people continue to think logically. Depression short-circuits that ability.
This might sound like a dumb question, but is everyone who commits suicide depressed beforehand? I have a co-worker whose husband committed suicide years ago and she’s convinced that he was never seriously depressed but was extremely anxious. Or is that a distinction that’s not worth making?
No, not everyone who commits suicide is depressed. For example, take someone with an illness that has no cure and causes them pain. Certain people have different ideas of how long they want to suffer in order to keep living.
Additionally, though it is less common nowadays, some people commit suicide out of a sense of duty or honor, for an example, see Seppuku.
You can definitely commit suicide for a number of reasons (mostly mental health related), not only clinical depression, depression is just the most common single cause.
Distinguishing between ‘anxious’ and ‘depressed’ can be a pretty tough call to make though. The two are very highly interrelated for a start, and almost any seriously debilitating health issue can be a trigger for depression anyhow. Without talking with the person in question about what they think defines ‘depression’ vs ‘anxiety’ its hard to comment much more about what the situation was for that particular person.
And of course some people hide it very well, which is what can make these losses so shocking.
Otara
Or that misdiagnoses pump people full of SSRIs when this isn’t the form of medication needed. And then, all expectation of improvement works along the lines of “it might take several months for the drugs to have an effect”…“or then we’ll try another [SSRI]”…“and another few months”…(Got the t-shirt.)
I surely don’t understand it in a visceral sense. I’m thrashing here. I was equally confused/upset when my father, who taught me logical thought, was surprised I couldn’t see his hallucinations while he was having (mild) DTs.
Logically, I know that people aren’t logical. I still want them to be.
Back to the OP, I take it that “depression” does not have a single cause or treatment, and is pretty much a try-this-and-see-if-it-helps thing even when the sufferer attempts to get treatment.
What makes it different is its finality. You can’t change your mind, as you can with most other choices.
I would like to respond, but as per samclem’s message above I will not…I don’t want to respond bad enough to go through the work of writing an OP and starting a thread. (I’d just PM it, but guests can’t PM)
This is my first post…so forgive me if I seem a little timid about the whole thing…
My brother committed suicide 9 years ago. He was an alcoholic who found himself a in lot of trouble regarding DUI’s, stealing, etc. I would not say he was depressed, maybe not clinically, but certainly not happy with his present life. That being said, he probably didn’t commit suicide because he was depressed. He probably committed suicide to avoid shame, jail, and the like.
I am myself have fought depression off and on for several years, with the worst episode being this past Fall. I am presently on medication that does help some…but the depression is always there. I have been told to “stop acting mopey”, “cheer up - you’re life is not as bad as somebody elses” and all that. If you are a SO of someone with depression, that kind of logic DOESN’T work. I agree with the very first comment that it is almost like trying to convince someone to changes sexual preferences. It is not like you can say “you’re right! I shouldn’t be depressed anymore, I sure do feel better now”
Anyway, that is my very first two cents worth…
I’m glad you’re doing a bit better.
But how can you diagnose your brother’s condition? Plenty of people get in all kinds of trouble & even go to jail. Somehow, they continue living–despite “the shame.”
Another thing people don’t realize is that when you’re depressed even when you are having a good time in the moment, you are looking at the downside- or at least I do. Like if you’re out having fun with your kids, I catch myself thinking- this is great right now, but in a hour or two, the day will be over, or in a few years the kids will be grown and getting sassy, etc., so you can even see negatives in the greatest day, ever.
True, I am not a counselor or doctor. I do not mean to imply that I have any answers regarding my brother’s condition. I do know, considering our upbringing, attitudes of our parents, etc. that “living with the shame” wasn’t an option for him.