When does one pass from the fairly blase stage of “not really having a will to live” to the more active stage of “not actually wanting to live?”
Emotionally, I am not a happy camper right now and occasionally I entertain the idea of not being a camper at all anymore. But, all in all, I certainly don’t honestly want to exit the campground. It’s just an idea. (Please don’t call my ISP and report me, this is only a messageboard thread!)
Yeah, major depression and all that. Pretty straight forward.
My question, though, is how do these feelings “work?” When do these feelings cease being just feelings, and actually start being potential actions? I’ve been depressed many times before, delt with it, and come out on the winning edge. But the odds of sucumbing are always there. Sometimes I feel like a quick dive off the Golden Gate Bridge might not be such a bad idea. Maybe “not being” is actually a better alternative to “being”. The idea crosses my mind. And it crosses it more and more lately.
So what’s up? Am I weak and just not wanting to exert the energy to make my current situation better? Or might this be something that I’m going to have to really dig myself out of?
Can we discuss the actual concept of “suicide?”
[SIZE=1-This is in the pit because I 'm in the pit. The anger and confusion I have is more than what should be in GD. But Mods, please move if appropriate.[/SIZE]