Accidental filling remover.
Next: Prostate milking
Nonorgasmic male massage
spontaneous combustion
Spontaneous combustion: Beautiful girls cause.
Your favorite supermodel.
Alek Wek, anyone?
Cheryl Tiegs.
70s eye candy
Scrabble the board game
Scrabble: Wooden tile addiction.
Jane’s Addiction.
Percy hates rap.
The bastard.
The Bastard: Trashy historical fiction.
Pulitzer Prize.
Good writing award.
Gregorian chants
Monkish monophonic plainchant (yes, plainchant is all one word)
candy canes
Candy Canes: Minty Multicolored J’s
Scarf
colorful neck warmer
OR
eat food quickly!
broken child’s ornament. 
(I just heard a crash from the living room–handblown dragonfly ornament that was #2 son’s is in pieces).
Broken child’s ornament: Christmas tree casualty.
(Sorry to hear it!)
Saint Nick.
Saint Nick: Rotund Gift Distributor.
Pogs
Milk cap fad
There will be tears after school. <sigh> Anyone know how to repair handblown glass?
biscotti
Biscotti: Good for dunking.
A Starbucks double grande decaf mocha extra foam.
Probably no tip.
Jaded
Jaded: Seen too much.
Jadestone.
Hmmm.
Video game developer
OR
antique Chinese pottery
haircut, color, blowdry and flatiron (and now you know my morning schedule)
high-maintenance coiffure.
Bare Escentuals