Describe your worst job interview.

In My Humble Opinion
21

I’ve had so many real lu-lus.

The worst was when a friend has suggested I try one of the big ad agencies in Atlanta because she knew they had an opening in the production department. I got a name and number and called for an appointment. I showed up early, all scrubbed and ready to do my dog and pony show. I was upbeat while showing my portfolio and explaning everything. I closed my book and look at this ugly toad with a smile and my best can-do attitude ready to talk.

He rears back in his chair and in a voice like Dan Akroyd’s “Jane, you ignorant slut…” starts to tear me to pieces. His opening statement, “What in god’s green earth gave you the idea you’d ever be qualified to work here?” completely short circuited my mind. I’ve forgotten everything after that. I was stammering and trying to pick my stuff up and back away without bowing and scrapping.

It took me days to get up the nerve to interview again. What kind of person would get such a power trip over ripping a young aspiring person to shreds?

22

It was the interview for my number one top-favorite university. I met my alumni interviewer at a ritzy all-organic tea shop in Beverly Hills. My mom had convinced me to dress up in a conservative button down shirt, pinstripe skirt, and heels. My interviewer wore designer jeans and some expensive hippy top. She suggested I pick out an herbal tea (at 7 dollars a cup!) and I replied, ‘no, I’d be fine with coffee.’

She nearly glared me out of the resturaunt. The rest of the interview was pretty much an excercise in how I’d never be cool enough for her university. I was so embarrased, I didn’t even write a thank you note.

I still got in :smiley: (psst not everyone here is a hippy)

23

As I was finishing residency, I drove up to Kentucky from North Carolina for some interviews. I wanted to work for a particular hospital system (since they had paid for most of my med school), so I had their recruiter set me up with three in one trip.

I’m an internist, a specialist in general adult medicine. My training in pediatrics consists of about two months in med school and just enough book learning to pass the Step 3. Asking me to see kids is like asking a pediatrician to see adults.

So I was shocked when I got to the first interview and they asked, “So how do you feel about seeing kids?”

“Well, I’m an adult doctor, so I’m really not qualified to do that.”

“But what if there were a kid with a sore throat that just needed some antibiotics, could you take care of that?”

“Well, if it were a truly exceptional situation and an obvious problem, I suppose I could manage.”

I had similar questions from just about everybody I met for the rest of the day. The director of the hospital’s emergency room asked how comfortable I’d be admitting an infant to observation for IV fluids. “Not at all,” I said. “I absolutely couldn’t do that.”

I sat down with the CEO later on and she said, point blank, that if I took their job they’d expect me to see kids. I told her that I was absolutely not qualified to do that. We exchanged pleasantries and I left. The other two interviews went much better, since at least they understood what an internist was.

A couple of weeks later, I got an offer–from the first place. The one that I told point blank that I was not qualified for their position. The money was pretty damn good, too. I asked the CEO by e-mail if they still expected me to see kids if I took the job, and she said yes, they did.

What’s more, I didn’t get offers from the other two places, and after a while I figured out that they weren’t offering because the system wanted me at the first hospital. It was a strong hint that perhaps I didn’t want to work for them after all. (I wasn’t required to work for them, I just had to admit my patients to one of their hospitals.)

24

Or maybenot

25

I had an interview for Verizon, but at the time it was Bell Atlantic. Anyways, it was for a corporate office position that paid something like 40 grand a year. Now let me tell you, 40 grand a year for a 20 year old back in 1995 was a lot of money and still is for today’s standards.

ok, so I go to this interview and there are three big shots in the board room and I walk in trying to play it cool. I have the interview and get grilled with those stupid, “so why would you be a good candidate” questions for almost an hour.

I get out to my car and take off my tie and look in the rear view and I had these two little balls of white foam built up in the corners of my mouth.

I was like, “Ooooooooooooh NO !! NEVER GETTING THIS JOB”. I was like, “THey were probably like, this guy can’t even wipe his mouth, he’ll never hold up.”

Welp, didn’t get the job, either.

26

There was a thread like this before. I still can’t top my entry on there, although I’d forgotten how much I sanitised it when I wrote it up for the boards.

27

Rule #1: Headhunters will pressure you into anything. From my experience, I’ve worked with many headhunters by phone - never signing any agreements (at least, not up front…don’t know what their catch was!) - yet, still went on interviews through them. If that is the case, then you’re STILL in the driver’s seat. You don’t have to listen to the clown at the other end of the phone who barely understands why you’re a good fit for this position, anyhow. He just knows you’re a BODY to fill a position.

28

I once interviewed for a job that an ex-boss recommended me for. Ex-Boss was working at this company, and thought I’d be a good fit, so I applied even though the place was known for being sticklers about degrees and I don’t have one.

Very first phone interview with HR, I make it known that I don’t have a degree. “That’s fine” they say. “You have more than enough experience to make up for it.”

Second phone interview, same thing.

I get called in for an in-person interview. It’s one of those interviews where you’re shuffled between about 5 people. Everything’s going great, then I get to the last guy, the department head or VP or some sort of snooty management guy. And, of course, he’s the guy who makes the final decision on who to hire.

First thing he says? “You don’t have a degree, so you’re not qualified for this position. Maybe we can find room for you in QA.” I tell him I’m not interested in QA, and I was applying for a developer job. “Absolutely not.”

OK… I’m not sure why I didn’t get up and leave at that point, but I didn’t. Guy continued the interview to the point where he asked for salary history. I gave it to him truthfully. When I got to the salary I had at my previous job, he accused me of lying about it. He said he highly doubted I could make that kind of money given my age and lack of degree. I didn’t know what to say to that. I’ve been to lots of goofy interviews, but have never been accused of lying before.

What’s even weirder is he knew my ex-boss worked there. I’d have had to be really stupid to lie about salary, because all he had to do to verify it was walk down the hall and ask ex-boss.

29

Worst job interview ever was the same timeframe as my “cockiest interview answer ever”. I was scheduled for a 2 p.m. interview at a PR firm in south Denver (Tech Center, for those who are familiar.) I lived 40 miles north of Denver. The Sunday before the interview, my wife and I put the kids in the car and drove to the building where the firm had its offices. I had a letter from the partner who was going to interview me, so I was able to verify the address. The day of the interview I listened to Denver radio stations to get a feel for the traffic and so on; turned out the traffic on I-25 was nice and light, I arrived (as my mentor had advised me) 30 minutes early and had a fake book to “read” while I took in the ambience of the place. I went to the restroom once to re-check my suit, my hair, my shoes. Everything was absolutely perfect. At the appointed hour the interviewer met me in the lobby and informed me they’d just filled the position, thank you for coming, turned on his heel and left me standing there.

30

Handy little trick: Copy the shortcut of your post # and paste it into the new post.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2396706&postcount=4
then change showpost to showthread manually.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=2396706&postcount=4
and you get a link directly to your post but still in context of the thread.

Jim

31

Well, don’t leave us hanging! Years later is definitely the time to post all the gritty details you left out the first time.

32

I was living in CT and had a job interview in Gloucester MA scheduled for 11 AM. We got about a foot of snow the evening before, but the headhunter told me I should go anyway. So I dutifully shoveled out my car and left at 5 AM. Traffic was of course horrible, and it was obvious that MA got a lot more snow than we did. I kept pulling off the road (pre-cell phone days) to give the headhunter status reports on my travel, since it appeared I would probably be late, and he kept telling me “No problem, I’ve talked to the manager and he understands you’ll be late, keep going!” I finally arrived at 11:45, and the office was closed. They got closer to 2 ft of snow up there, and no one showed up. When I called the HH to bitch him out for lying to me, he told me he had just set up another interview for me in Rhode Island at 4 PM! I had been out of work for a few months and couldn’t afford to blow off an interview, so I drove back down to RI. Unfortunately, the hiring manager kept his office really, really dark, and had a droning voice, and I’d been up since 4 AM, and was worn out from driving for 7 or 8 hours that day, so I fell asleep in the interview. I’m fairly certain I nodded off 2 or 3 times before he noticed, or at least before he called me on it. He was nice about it, but we both agreed there was no point in rescheduling.

33
  1. I was interviewing at a place that serviced medical equipment. Showed up early, was told to wait. I was there for an hour before the receptionist informed me that my interviewer had already left for the day. Re-scheduled for the next day. Showed up early again, waited for awhile, and was informed that the interviewer had to go meet a contractor at her house.

Re-re-scheduled, and finally started the interview. It went very well. Lost the position to someone a lot younger and a lot cheaper.

  1. This was one of the more bizarre ones. I’m interviewing at a place that makes widgets. The interview team consists of two guys; guy #1 works in Production, and is wearing dirty coveralls. Guy #2 is higher up in the food chain, and is sporting a button down shirt and tie. They’re clearly going through the motions, taking turns asking me questions in a monotone, not making eye contact, not even bothering to look at my resume sitting on the table in front of them.

Last question: “How do you handle conflicts with co-workers?”

“What do you mean by conflicts?”

Boy, did these guys light up. It was like someone was holding a blow torch to their rear ends, or I’d suddenly transformed myself into a naked Vegas show girl.

“You know! Like if you’re being physically assaulted!” “Yeah, like attacked!” “What do you do?”

I’d started to give my stock reply about how I usually employed humor to diffuse stressful situations, but these guys were obviously future reality-show contestants, or were planning to murder a co-worker.

“I’ve decided to look elsewhere. Thanks.”

This was the only interview that ever caused me to run to the parking lot afterwards.

34

Her: So why do you want this position?

Me: Because it pays (X amount over what I’m currently making).

Her: The starting salary is (Y amount under what I’m currently making.)

Me: Oh. Bummer.

Her: You’ll be required to work three to five hours overtime every day, without pay, for the rest of your life. And you’ll be required to come in at least three Saturdays per month. Are you OK with that?

Me: No, not really.

Her: But what qualifies you for the position?

Me: I don’t know. What’s the position?

Her: You’ll be fujikamatutilizing the profenderated quankums of the clientedated frocrantzers.

Me: Ah. Gotcha. I understood the word “the.”

Her: Why do you want this job?

Me: You tell me. I don’t even know what you guys do here. Do you sell something? Is there some sort of product involved? Is it cheese-related in any way?

Her: Why did you even apply?

Me: Why do you want me here?

Her: Why did you even apply?

Me: Why do you want me here?

Her: Why did you even apply?

Me: Why do you want me here?

Her: Let’s stop wasting each others’ time.

Me: Buh-bye.

This is what happens when some well-meaning but clueless matchmaker tries to get a complete stranger get a better job.

35

I have a couple - the first is the worst, the second just made me go :rolleyes:.

I was interviewing at a large company in their proposal unit and was asked how thick-skinned I was. I asked why. The woman said, “To put it another way, how would you respond if you wrote something and someone came up to you later and screamed, ‘This is the biggest piece of crap I’ve ever seen. What were you thinking?!?’” I said, “You’re kidding, right? People actually act like that here and get away with it?” She smiled almost apologetically and said, “Well, they’re all Israeli. They do things differently.” I smiled back and said that, regardless of where they were from, they were not exempt from standard rules of courtesy. She admitted that it was embarassing that she had to ask and said right then, “Maybe this just isn’t a good fit.” I agreed and thanked the gods I got out of that one. At the time, I was feeling somewhat desperate for a job, but not nearly that desperate.

My second one wasn’t really bad - the actual interview portion was very good. I was applying to be a paralegal in a small law firm. The partner I was interviewing with was very nice and I thought I had it. Later that day, the headhunter I was using called me and said that he thought I was over-qualified but had requested my home phone number after asking whether I was married and learning that I was not. He had commented to the headhunter about various, um, aspects of my person (I hadn’t been expecting the interview that night, so I was wearing a pencil skirt with a somewhat snug fitted shirt - I usually dress more conservatively, but I hadn’t picked up my dry cleaning). I had also noted during the interview that he was wearing a wedding ring. He even talked about his kids with me. Married or not, I was completely grossed out. After that, he was ostensibly removed from the headhunter’s list of companies she was helping.

36

And now, they want me back for a second interview.

I’m imagining them saying to each other, “Wait a minute! We forgot to stuff weasels down his pants! Get him back here!”

37

I might have had to ask “So, after I’ve been here a while, if someone hands me some work that is complete crap, is it OK if I scream at them? Because I could get used to that.”

38

I applied at one place that asked me for references. One of the ones I gave was a coworker, Camille. When I was being introduced to my interviewers, one was identified as Tony. “Hi Tony, nice to meet you”, I said. I made it damn clear that I was introducing myself to a complete stranger. The next day, Camille reminded me that he was her boyfriend, and I’d met him at a party maybe a month prior.

39

My second interview for a very faMou$ company. I’d aced the first one, with the guy I would have been reporting to. I was relaxed, we clicked immediately, and the whole thing was warm, friendly, and humorous. And I’m usually OK in interviews.

But this one threw me. It was in a large room with a panel of eight people - managers and HR people, but not the guy who’d originally seen me - all sitting round the edges of the room, and they sat me in the middle of the room, with no desk or anything, on a revolving chair.

They spent the next hour firing off all these asswipe questions about my worst attributes, and where do I see myself in five years’ time, bla bla. I felt totally physically awkward and vulnerable, and I had to keep swiveling right around to look at the person asking the question.

Worse, I hadn’t prepared any of the pat answers to the out-of-a-book questions, so I kept stumbling and umming and erring, and then my mind kept going blank, so there were these really long, awkward pauses. Then I broke out in a sweat.

Then came the clincher: “What do you hate most in the workplace?” And I panicked, and all I could think of was “Incompetence”. So I said it, and when they asked for an example, I badmouthed my former boss.

Oops.

That’s the only time in my life I didn’t get a job I was going for.

I screwed up in my own way, but they had deliberately set out to intimidate me too. So fuck 'em.

Now I’m the guy doing a lot of hiring, because of that experience, I try to make the interview as informal and comfortable as possible - chat a bit, relax the candidate, inject a bit of humor, bit of self-deprecation, and dispense with the formal setup. And I never, ever ask those stupid bloody trip-you-up questions.

40

I was applying for a plum position managing the outsourced IT department at the local hospital. All went well until the group interview, which included the HR manager.

They asked me about a situation dealing with a difficult employee. I launched into the long, sad story of Sydney, which I think I’ve detailed before here on the boards, although I can’t find it at the moment. When I got to the part about corporate HR not letting me fire Sydney, because he was black, I could see the HR manager just shut down.

Everyone else was, appropriately, amused, impressed, and horrified by the story (which involves heroin, the worst of corporate culture, a jealous husband, narcolepsy, car theft, a gun, and a roll of duct tape), but the HR manager was just horrified.

I had 2 more interviews with individuals, which both went well, but the damage was done.