Design "Straight Dope World," a new theme park

From the ground up. Funds are unlimited, and any location in the world is available.

Where should it be? What features, attractions, entertainment, rides, exhibits, restaurants, accommodations, etc.? Family area, adults only area, teen section, child care, pet sitting. It has to appeal to a broad range of types: geeks, cooks, pet lovers, intensely political/argumentative types, introverts, party animals, sports lovers, couch potatoes, danger lovers, fraidy cats, career-minded people, as well as slackers.

But it must have features that uniquely mark it as a Straight Dope Enterprise.

Go forth and design!

Two types of movie theaters: one where silence is golden and another where people are free to nitpick and and do their best MST3K impressions.

A ride like Buzz Lightyear where you can shoot targets with a 1920’s style “death ray”, including a corpse that pops up with a sign that says “gotcha ya!”

Well there would have to be some sort of zombie attraction, wouldn’t there?

A mobius strip roller coaster.

And a plane on a treadmill ride.

Thelma, myself and a growing group of friends are working on a very similar concept. A very large theme park where all types of message boards are represented with a physical presence. The theme itself is creative solutions or just creativity in general. The plan includes on sight laboratories and shops of different types to provide resources at very low cost to allow dreamers, inventers, artists, as well as business and science types to explore thier idea with others of similar interests in a very fertile enviroment.

The people would be the attraction and the park would simply provide technical resources and space. Envision a giant coffee shop where a group could sit down and hash out ideas then simply step into the next room and have thier ideas start becomming a reality.

That would be pretty boring since it wouldn’t go anywhere…or would it?

– A dark room with a squid

–The Opal Memorial Room, with engraved lists on the wall, each containing two items

–The Hal Briston Petting Zoo

The “Nice Guy” bar. Fill it with hot women that wont talk to you.

A no-win roleplaying game where you decide how to react in certain situations:
– Do you ignore the obvious racist troll? Then people complain that you are letting them slide. Do you smack 'em down? Then people complain that this is even being discussed these days.
– Do you ask out the girl at the bar? If so then it’s hilarious that you would even think you were on her level. If you don’t, then you’re obviously a Nice Guy and probably a rapist. ETA: doh!

The “Ask Me Anything” booth, featuring a different Doper each day of the month. Two bits a question!

Park police will nitpick anything you say.

Welcome to…THE PIT!

The authorities would shut it down on day one.

And issue you a citation?

A similar approach would be a major attraction, you might have different areas where different types of experts hung out. Someone working on a project could take his project over to the area he needed some expertise in and have his questions addressed.

not have surface level intersecting walkways but have bridges for ample troll hiding places.

an overly large amount of restrooms and restaurants to match the huge amount of message traffic concerned with things either going into or out of your body.

with the extra large number of restaurants you have some surprise ones. one where a normal key ingredient is left out and something other substituted. one where the food is left out at room temperature too long and people get to see if it is still good.

also a ‘Beat the Reaper’ game.

The ‘Central Square’ would have a Times Square-like electronic marquee which would continually update with Celebrity Deaths.

The PA system would only play one song…“Rio” by Duran Duran.

Those wishing to impregnate, or be impregnated by, a chimpanzee will (at long last) have the opportunity. Safety harnesses will be available.