"Desperate" for publicity: Eva Longoria vs. Nicolette Sheridan

Okay, I’m a lean, meme, gossip machine. I watch Entertainment Tonight/The Insider. I buy In Touch. And I love to hate all these people.

Recently, I’ve been meditating on the issue of who’s a bigger attention whore, Eva Longoria or Nicolette Sheridan. Eva was the first to really start to put herself out there – I figured, hey, she’s young, this is her first shot at the limelight, she can be excused for attending supermarket openings in high heels and a bathing suit.

Nicolette, though, has definitely been giving the little minx a run for her money. Resurrecting her defunct relationship with the equally past-his-prime Michael Bolton – not bad. I esp. like the coy waving off of questions about an engagement. His willingness to tag along on her adventures – a nice touch, if a little creepy.

He was even there for her turn with the Pussycat Dolls, in which she appeared in an enormous champagne glass. Because she’s not a total slut, however, she didn’t appear in Pussycat Doll garb, but rather in a silver mini. What a class act!

So yeah, let Felicity garner Oscar nominations for indie films; let Teri date George Clooney; let Marcia do whatever low-key stuff Marcia does – these two will do their best to keep the tabloid media churning.

Doesn’t it say a lot about those celebs who do NOT appear in the tabloids? It seems like the ones who aren’t very good are the ones who show up in half the stories.

My wife subscribes to US Magazine (ok, WE subscribe to it, but I made sure it was in her name!) and I like to play a little game with it when I am bored.

I turn until I see the first picture of Paris Hilton. Then I begin holding my breath and start turning the pages. I only allow myself to breath when I see Hilton again.

Oddly, I breath at a regular pace while playing.

You can also play the game with:
Nicole Ritchie
Britney Spears OR Kevin Federline
Eva Longoria
Lindsey Lohan
An Olsen Twin

I vote for Longoria as the biggest attention ho. I give it a few more months before we start hearing her whining about paparrazi following her everywhere.

Eva Longoria’s publicist is the hardest working person not just in show business, but in the entire damned world.

Eva Longoria, no contest. I know more about that woman’s vagina than I do my own.

I don’t even know who the hell Eva Longoria is. And I’m glad.