Who's likely to show up at Oscars half naked or tackily dressed?

Cafe Society
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One of the hallmarks of the Oscars has always been actresses showing up half naked or in clothes that are extremely tacky, or both. The theory being that it doesn’t matter what kind of attention you get at the Oscars, so long as you get noticed.

Lately the Fashion Police have apparently been frightening most actresses into wearing less naked/tacky outfits, but I’m sure there will be a resurgence of them soon – perhaps this very year. There are always a lot more actresses out there wanting and needing to be noticed, than there are venues for them to be widely noticed in, so the Oscars will continue to be an attractor.

The actresses who are most likely to be considering appearing half naked at the Oscars are either those who have had some breaks but whose careers seem to be flagging – typically, an A list actresse who is getting nothing but B list roles for a year or two, or an actress with a lead in a TV series that’s been cancelled and hasn’t had any good offers subsequently; or those who are young and have done some indie/B movie stuff and are looking to get noticed by some A list agents/producers, etc. so they can move up the food chain.

It helps if the actress in question has some nude roles under their, um, belt, so they aren’t intimidated by the prospect of being naked on the Internet for months or years.

My candidates:

Rose McGowan – Charmed has been cancelled. Rose has already gotten a very nice career boost from coming to the Oscars pretty much naked (and on the arm of Marilyn Manson, so a repeat performance … quite possible. Of course, she may have some great offers on the table right now that I don’t know about, and if so she probably won’t be interested. But all the IMDB is showing for her this year is a very much supporting role in DePalma’s Black Dahlia movie.

Alyssa Milano – Same as Rose, except I bet they’ll be hard pressed to talk Milano into NOT wearing something revealing the absolutely fab body she still has, even if there ARE good projects on the table. I don’t blame her. Go for it, Alyssa!

Eliza Dushku – First got noticed in her role as the daughter on Nash Bridges. Currently has one project as “the girlfriend of the son of the principal character” on the IMDB. I’m betting she’d go for it.

Alexa Davalos – Her 2005 TV series “Reunion” was cancelled, her last big movie role was as Riddick’s daughter in “Chronicles of Riddick” but it didn’t do all that great at the box office. I’d put her at the top of the list except that there are no nude roles in her past, from the IMDB listing, anyway.

There’s plenty more candidates out there – have at it! The Red Carpet show tomorrow will tell all!

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How large is that pavilion that there’d even be room for B and C list mostly-television actors? Is everyone invited? Even the Hilton girls?

If so, I’d guess one of them might embarrass her parents. Again.

That’s too easy though. How about Mira Sorvino? We haven’t heard much from her since she won a few years back. She doesn’t seem to have the trashy gene though.

I got nuthin’.

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Well, Sorvino DID appear topless in the Marilyn Monroe movie she starred in, and she played a prostitute (IIRC) in Woody Allen’s “Mighty Aprhodite” so I don’t know that she’s afraid to flash 'em. She has a lot of recent projects on the IMDB, so I think her ''in" basket is probably full. And of course, there is the whole “Dad” thing – what if she runs into Paul Sorvino at the Oscars – “Hi Dad, I decided to show everybody my boobies at the Oscar this year.” Could be an inhibitor. Then again, I don’t know that anybody got exercised at he nudity in the Marilyn movie.

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Ben Afleck

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I was thinking about guys as candidates here. Sometimes they do show up in extremely tacky outfits, but I don’t recall nudity being a tactic, and Affleck’s career seems to be doing OK.

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My money’s on Keira Knightley. She’s nominated so she’ll get attention. And I’ve heard her make comments that she’s unhappy people think of her as “cute” rather than “sexy”. So I’m hoping she decides to show up in a dress cut down to her belly button.

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I doubt any of the actresses from Charmed will be on the red carpet-don’t you have to be invited or involved in something that’s nominated?

McGowan has never gone to the Oscars, to my knowledge. The see-through dress was worn to the VMAs.

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Rose McGowan was the first name that popped into my head, good call.

Along the same “I’m not cute, dammit!” line of thinking as Kiera, is it time for Natalie Portman’s rebellion yet? She’s definitely in demand with bucketsful of work, but she’s also at the age where the shock and awe style of dress might appeal. She’s always struck me as more of a Jodie Foster cerebral type, but remember Jodie’s infamous down-to-there Armani jacket worn without a shirt or bra?

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And besides, she paid a lot of money for that body.

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Thinking further, Matthew McConaghey (sp unsure) would be a more likely candidate, simply because I suspect he’d show up half naked or tackily dressed on a lark. He seems to be a guy who’d be less comfortable in a tailored suit than a Tarzan outfit.

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Y’know, I hadn’t considered that, but actresses looking to alter their image from “cute” to “sexy” a la Alyssa Milano’s softcore stuff, would probably be very strong contenders.

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I checked and you’re right, it was the Video Music Awards. And still, it netted her a ton of publicity, and it was the VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS!!! I don’t understand why any actress that still has a bod comes to the Oscars wearing clothes at all, thinking about. Though that would lessen the whole “standing out in a crowd” thing, if everybody did it. Ain’t that always the way.

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Hopefully, Scarlett Johansson will show up completely nude.

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Other than Cher’s showgirls outfit from the 80s, I can’t honestly think of actresses who have shown up “half naked”. Trashy, yes, I’ll give ya that (Bjork the Swan, for example). But as mentioned, Rose McGowan’s see-through number was at some cheesy MTV awards show. And J.Lo’s infamous green dress was at the Grammys.

Was there something in particular you were thinking of, Evil Captor, or is this just wishful fanatasizing on your part? People like Rose McGowan and Paris Hilton certainly show up at the after-parties half naked, but luckily haven’t weaseled (or slept) their ways onto the red carpet yet.

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Oscar fashion has gotten so boring lately. It was never as heavy on the “who showed up naked?” front as, say, the VMAs, but people used to be a lot more interesting. Remember Kim Basinger? (at all?) Remember that silver half… thing? Those were the days! Now we’re lucky to get Laura Flynn Boyle dressed up like a ballerina. Does Bjork get invited to the Oscars?

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I don’t know that it would work for her unless she was hot for some part that demanded she be more of a hottie. As you say, her plate is full. What exactly would she be rebellling against? Has she made any statements of a rebellious nature?

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Actually, I was thinking it would be fun to guess who would show up in a trashy/half-naked outfit at the Oscars tomorrow, and then see who did show up. But a check of the Google Image Search under “Oscars” trashy and Oscars nude and Oscars naked turned up not a hell of a lot. I probably conflated all the OTHER awards show that feature trashy outfits with the Oscars. Guess nobody wants to dick with the Oscars.

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Yah, didn’t mean to sound so snarky in my post there, sorry. Luckily, the Oscars are Hollywood’s ultimate self-love fest, so they won’t sully their special night by having the kind of people who would dress like that show up. And I do think actors and actresses fear the consequences of misbehaving in any way, shape, or form on Oscar night. So - no L’il Kim-inspired purple flower pasties, or anything.

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People don’t usually do trashy at the Oscars – but the fashions used to be a lot more interesting in a trainwreck-wtf-is-she-wearing sort of way. Celine Dion wore this backwards suit thing with a fedora a few years ago that was pretty, uh, memorable.

And don’t get me going on Gwyneth “Howdy Doody” Paltrow wearing that pink gown, the bodice of which totally didn’t fit her, the year she won for Shakespeare in Love. That still sets me off.

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All right, then the question becomes, who among likely invitees to the Oscars is enough of a wild child/desperate enough to bust a move at the Oscars in the trashy/half-naked direction: let’s face it, it’s been done before. I’ll stick with Rose McGowan. She’s got the wild child thing going, and it must have been hell keeping it suppressed for so long on Charmed with Queen Bee Alyssa Milano hogging the spotlight.