Desperate Housewives premiers tonight!

Okay, this is the third or fourth one of these I’ve started…I’m starting to feel a bit conspicuous.

In any event, it’s six months later, Mike is still in a coma, and Orson, who ran him over, is proposing to Bree (I got this off the cable channel synopsis, so don’t shoot me.)

The only thing I have a teeny problem with, from the previews, is Bree protesting she doesn’t do something (presumably kinky) in bed because she’s a Republican.

As a registered Republican with libertarian leanings, I must protest. I have been known to get a bit kinky sometimes. Being a Republican has nothing to do with it.

9pm tonight!

What’s really funny about it is that Bree has done some unsavory and even criminal things, but she objects to anything kinky in the bedroom.
I’ll be tuned in tonight and back here tomorrow.

I’ll watch, but it’s been so long since last season I’ll be damned if I can remember who any of these people are, let alone where the plot left off.

Is Bree the redhead who dips her face in Botox before every scene?


So Bree is engaged to the Creepy Dentist? What’s up with that? When did they even meet? They made eye contact once, when she was escaping from the mental hospital, and suddenly they’re dating and then marrying? We still don’t even know why he ran over Mike Delfino.

Also, her visit to the doctor because she had an orgasm was pretty funny. Republicans are apparently too uptight for oral sex, but we already knew that.

Meanwhile, Susan welcomes yet another man into her life. It’s amazing that she never manages to have sex, because she might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says “Open for business.”

Meanwhile, Paul is apparently in prison for murdering Felicia Tilman, and we don’t know where she actually is. Tom and Lynette are still unhappy with the whole Nora situation (speaking of which, how could anyone have sex with her? The ugliness of her soul is matched only by the ugliness of her face.) Gabrielle and Carlos are still broken up, and Xiaomei made a brave bid for freedom, though it doesn’t seem as if she had it all that bad with Gabrielle.

I’m sure I’m forgetting someone. I didn’t start watching until partway through last year. Whatever happened to the Applewhites, anyway?

I believe 6 months or something passed since the last episode (not sure where I got that from, but I think I heard it on there somewhere.) That explains for why things seemed to happen so fast.

Also, Susan’s been devotedly by Mike’s side for those 6 months. I don’t know if you can really call that “open for business.”

I thought the Applewhites moved, but I’m not sure.

It was nice to see Edie act as a business woman today- normally, we only see her slutty, catty side. She was certainly have a hard time selling that house.

I decided she was open for business during that brief period where she was juggling Carl, Mike, and that doctor kid. “I love . . . Mike. Mike is love!”

The crazy part is that, while she seems to have more men in her life than anyone else on the show, she appears to get less sex than anyone else.

Dude, you were looking at her face? If I ever had any lingering questions about your orientation before they’re totally gone now. :slight_smile: Honestly, I’d hit that. I’m a native Jerseyan and her personality makes me homesick.

Very good first episode. Absolutely loved the bits with Bree and doctor and Edie and the media room. Hopefully this season won’t go too far afield like last season. I enjoyed it, but the Applewrongs story totally broke my suspension of disbelief.

Why is Botox Lady dating Kyle McLaughlin? Didn’t she ever see Twin Peaks or Sex in the City?

Why is Gaby suddenly blonde? And can’t she have one of Chowmein’s relatives come take care of her?

I laughed at two situatons in this episode, and I thought the rest of it just fell flat.

  1. When Susan spilled the smoothie on British Guy’s wife.
  2. When Bree said she could give head because she’s a Republican.

The whole “6 months ago” thing was just too much. If this is any indication of where this season is headed, I’m afraid it’s going to be even worse than the last one. I give the episode as a whole a “D”.

Didn’t the Applewhites get thrown in the clink at the end of last season???

Matthew Applewhite was gunned down by the police while holding a gun on Bree. Betty Applewhite moved away with her other son, who she had just dscovered was innocent of the murder for which she had been hiding him from the authorities.

Bree attacking Orson when she hears him talking ‘dirty’ about cleaning was hilarious. Nora is an evil witch who was obviously hit too many times with the Ugly Stick. I so can not wait for Lynette to bitchslap the obnoxious, over-bearing, passive-aggressive drama queen over the head.

I had an awful lot of questions, tho.

Where’s Bree’s daughter? We know Andrew’s gone somewhere, but the last episode had Danielle witnessing her boyfriend Matthew getting shot. Pretty traumatic, right? But six months later, Bree’s been dating to, and is now engaged to, Orson - and not even one scene with Danielle, who you’d think would have some pretty strong opinions about her mom marrying again so soon after all that had happened in the past six months.

What’s Tom doing for work? He left his job at Lynette’s company after punching his boss (who wanted to fire him because his wife found out Lynette was the one making sexy chats with her). Is he a stay-at-home dad again? Did he take another job?

Not one scene with Zach? He took over the dead guy’s estate, and left his dad in jail. What’s he up to now? He knows Mike’s his real dad - nothing from that story line yet?

Am I alone in thinking that Gabrielle has a little bit of a double-standard, throwing out and divorcing Carlos for his affair, when she had one as well?

I personally wish they would have developed the Orson/Bree and Ian/Susan storylines more before suddenly moving to the ‘engaged to possible wife murderer’ and ‘going out on a date’ stages.

Bree’s daughter (and Lybette’s kids) always disappears when it’s inconvenient for her to be around.

Didn’t Bree meet Orson at the mental hospital, where Orson was visiting someone? Wasn’t that someone…his wife?

Notice the closing montage had a portrait of Susan & Mike. Were they ever actually dating long enough to have a picture taken?

When Tom booted the psycho from the birthday party, I think it was the first time in the show’s history that someone acted the way a real life human being would.

Bree jumping Orson as he describes his cleaning tips, was pretty funny. And Gaby gets the best lines, as usual. “talk to my Chinese friend…Sue Me”.


I’m pretty sure it was his mother.

Actually, the two really good character moments for me were “Be back in 20 minutes” “going to buy a pinata?” “Yep.” worked for that couple.

And Gaby driving away while Carlos was trying to connect (without even realizing he was talking) is exactly what she would do.

Last season wasn’t as good, and everyone knows it. I’m giving them a couple of episodes to find their way back, and there was enough last night to show that they might get there.

I remember them making eye-contact during her escape, and him not telling the orderlies where Bree was - did they actually ever speak at any point? Was that in a different episode? It’s so hard to keep all the plotlines straight. And I sort of thought it was his sister (but cmkeller might be right.)

Ooh, one other laugh-out-loud moment: Lynette asking Gabby if she could use her backyard, then thanking her . . . and then saying she hoped Gabby got the message soon.

At the mental hospital, he recognized her and re-introduced himself as “Susan’s friend.” She told him that she’d told everyone she was going to a spa and asked him not to tell anyone that she was there.

Then they made eye contact during her escape (after some time had passed)

I’m pretty sure that person he was visiting in the mental hospital was not the same actress as the one who played his wife… but recasts happen.

I’m guessing they’ll have another “six months ago” ep. to explain Andrew’s whereabouts.
I hope so, anyway.
I like Kyle MacLachlan and he still looks good after all these years, but this character is up there as one of his creepiest portrayals.