There are optimists who can see a silver lining no matter how dark the cloud,so I’ve thought of a few myself and invite contributions from other Dopers.
Having very prominent visible tattoos means that you are less likely to be murdered as your body will identified much too easily and quickly.
Crippling alimony awards mean that the bloke will not have enough money to turn into an alcoholic in his misery plus he will become fitter and healthier because he’ll have to walk everywhere.
Living in a recession means that we’ve got something to look forward to,ie. economic improvement in the future.
Having an incredibly ugly gf/bf means that the chances of them two timing you are insignificant.
Premature male baldness means that you have lots and lots of testosterone,which in turn means that your a REAL man and a stud,plus you’ll save a fortune over the years in haircuts,shampoos,gels,lotions and all the other crap.
When you actually ARE made redundant you no longer have to worry about the possibility of being made redundant plus you’ll be able to spend more time with your S.O. and be able to watch the kids growing up.
When you’re dead you wont have to worry about anything.
If you are diagnosed with a terminal illness it’s time to start smoking and drinking to excess and indulging in all your favourite unhealthy foods.
If your flight gets hijacked you’re spared the worry of missing luggage and getting a ride from the airport to town.
If you discover a dead body in your house, you have the perfect opportunity to watch police procedure at first hand and branch out on a writing career.
My wife is currently being evaluated for a heart condition. She has declared that if it turns out she has a bad ticker and is going to kick it, she’s going to cancel her gym membership, start smoking again, stop drinking diet soda, and start buying buying real butter. hehehe
Okay, these aren’t very humorous, but they were vivid lessons for me.
You go through an awful experience and you don’t understand why, until much later someone else mentions they’re going through the same thing and are greatly relieved to know that you really do understand how they feel.
You endure a very dysfunctional relationship and once it ends, you get two rewards; first, it’s over and you feel giddy with freedom; and second, you realize that enduring it made you stronger and more patient than you ever imagined you could be.
If you fail a Ph.D. qualifying exam you will have the opportunity to learn more about your subject area before trying again. (That’s what someone told me his advisor said when he failed. He still felt like crap.)
If you get dumped you don’t have to worry about that next Valentine’s Day.
If your car gets booted you won’t get into any traffic accidents.
If we get invaded and taken over by space aliens we’ll finally know that we are not alone in the universe.
If you’re illiterate you don’t have to serve jury duty.
If you’re homeless you don’t have to pay property taxes.
If you have a terminal illness your beneficiary will soon collect your life insurance.
If you get into a car accident that leaves you blind and deaf you don’t have to experience any Adam Sandler movies.
