[QUOTE=DoctorJ]
But the whole point was that we wanted to spend a couple of days hanging out in one of our favorite places (New Orleans) with our favorite people. We have the rest of our lives to take romantic vacations alone together (especially since we’re not having kids). This was probably the only chance I’ll ever have to get that group of people together, and I didn’t want to waste that chance on a forgettable little party.
[/QUOTE]
Well said. And btw- how was New Orleans? I’ve always wanted to go there (cough history nerd cough cough).
You know, I was giving more thought to this whole thing last night and a few points came to mind:
[ul]
[li]Yes, I could get married in lil’ ol’ Bakersfield (or wherever I’m living, but let’s assume this is hypothetically next year or something), but in that case the vast majority of folks are going to be flying at least 2000 miles to Bakersfield to be at my wedding. My family HATES Bakersfield (like all sane people out there) and they would come, but they would whine the whole goddamned time. I literally have 2 close friends in town that I would want at my wedding and one family member (dad)- everyone else lives clear across the country (grandmas, mom, uncle, best friends, etc.). If I were them and I was going to pay for a $400 plane ticket one way or the other, frankly I’d rather go somewhere (anywhere!) other than Bakersfield. [/li]
But more than that, I’ve never wanted to get married in Bakersfield. It has some lovely areas (shocking, I know), but nothing that ever really struck me as a place I’d want to make such a beautiful commitment. I suppose we could drive up to the mountains or over to the coast, but the point is that the bulk of our guests would still be traveling, at least on my end.
[li]Everyone keeps talking about a destination wedding like myself and my hypothetical husband would be shelling out tons of money for it. In reality, I always figured it’s cheaper than most “regular” weddings. Let’s say I did get married here, I wouldn’t particularly want to get married in my dad’s backyard (though you know, if that’s what we HAD to do, I wouldn’t really mind all that much), so I’d have to rent a hall, buy decorations, have a bar, get a big, fancy dress, he’d have to rent a tux, I’d have to pay for hair and makeup (I wouldn’t HAVE to, but it’d be nice to not have to worry) we’d have to have a DJ, a band, or a good friend hanging out with the cds, a photographer (who always rip off wedding parties), etc. and so forth. [/li]
Whereas at the resort I stayed at last time I was in Puerto Vallarta, they had wedding specials for $700 that included a band, an official, champagne, flowers, pictures, hair and makeup, private dinner on the beach for up to 15, a bridal suite the night before and for preparations, a “honeymoon” suite for that night, AND unlimited spa treatments for the bride and groom. Seriously, I was astonished when I read that too and I figured that the weddings would be super trashy, but I watched a few and the people looked so blissfully happy being married at sunset with the waves crashing behind them as the sky turned pink and orange.
Our plane tickets to Puerto Vallarta this last time were $150, round trip. It was off season, so the (all inclusive–food, drinks, and activities- , 4 star) hotel wasn’t even $150 a night. I’m a deal shopper when it comes to vacations, obviously heh. While I understand that such a trip isn’t ideal for everyone or isn’t within the scope of reality, I would genuinely be ok if it was just the two of us on the beach.
[li]Also, as far as grandma getting left out or something, I suppose I’m different in the sense that I come from a family of people that love to travel and thankfully have the means to do so. If, for instance, my husband’s mother or sister couldn’t swing it, I’m sure we’d find a way to make it work so they could come, even if that meant us doing a little extra saving for them. As far as friends though, unless it’s someone either one of us absolutely must have there, well then it’s ok if they can’t make it. If that person is a necessity, well then we’d have to find a way to swing them too.[/li][/ul]
I guess I’d just rather spend that time with the person (and if they can swing it, people) I love in a beautiful place that I love. If worst came to worst and we were completely broke ourselves, I’d have no problem running off to the courthouse and doing it that way. Hell, in the end I wouldn’t even mind running off to Vegas and doing it on the cheap there. Ideally though, if I’m going to have to pay $2500-$5000 for a wedding**, I’d rather feel like I got something more for the money than some party that I wouldn’t want to go to if my presence wasn’t mandatory.
**Yes, I know that weddings don’t have to cost that much. I know, we can just get married in the backyard and have a BBQ for $50. Realistically though, if I was going to force everyone to come to the hell that is Bakersfield, paying a thousand bucks in the process for flights, hotels, and food, I probably should have a “real” wedding and not what I’d consider a fun backyard shindig.
