Because, once again, truth really is stranger than fiction:
…“The suspect said he had gotten somewhat confused after Purchasing a book called ‘Making Love for Dummies’”… [/punchline]
Might I suggest you look into Lasik, or at least some new glasses? It would seem your aim is a bit amiss these days as you carry out your divine duties.
Just goes to show you: no matter how weird you think you are, someone out there will show up to outdo you.
The nice thing about dating a mannequin is, if you want a hand job at the movies, you can leave the rest of her at home.
He keeps doing this why? Just how anatomically correct are these mannequins? Beyond the clothes, aren’t they about as sexually explicit as a russet potato? I don’t get the appeal.
Well … some of them have nipples. 
Heh, yeah baby, that potato was hot.
sigh
I guess it would be boring to have to watch the Series by yourself.
Please tell me what you have against tubersexuals. 
You need a paring knife and a russet potato.
I used to have to walk to work early in the morning when it was still dark. On my way, I always passed a clothing store that had mannequins in the window, dressed in the latest sexy fashions. Lots of short skirts.
Damn if those girls didn’t look alluring, staring at me like that every time I walked past …
No comment.